u/themeowmeowz

Hey guys!!

I really want to get into Muay Thai, but I’m honestly pretty nervous. I’m female 5’1” and around 94 lbs, and I’m worried I won’t be taken seriously or that everyone in class will be much bigger than me.

I’ve never taken any classes before, so I have absolutely no idea what to expect. Am I just overthinking this?

If you started Muay Thai as a complete beginner, I’d really love to hear about your experience. Any advice or words of encouragement would mean a lot!

I (F23) want to start by saying I love my body! I have always been a fit person, I go to gym 4-5x a week, eat healthy, and do 5kms walk/run 1-2x a week. I always get compliments too. I’ve done a full body checkup, everything was perfect, besides my ferritin levels (it was 14, it should be at least 30). That’s because I lost lots of blood last year due to spouse abuse. I got divorced almost 2 months ago, so that made me even more motivated to work on myself.

My dad constantly talks about how “skinny” I am and that I need to get fat.. he talks about how my ex wouldn’t have left me if I was fat.. like what? For context, my ex husband literally was lazy piece of shit that SA’d me and never got a job throughout my whole marriage and would leach off of my money. He’d coerce me to sleep with him every single day up to 3x a day and even that wasn’t enough for him because he’d watch corn behind my back..

I get my period and become a bit sick, my dad says look at ur face u look like a mouse. I told my family I want nose fillers, he started saying how i am tricking men and that I need to get fat. He says “im a man and i know how men thinks and no one wants a skinny women as their wife, thats why he left you” like this makes me hurt. I know that his words are BS and I’m a confident person, it’s just that he keeps saying these things all the time, it hurts me because he’s my dad..

Who’s gonna tell him everyone has different preferences. Because when I tell him this, he thinks I’m saying Bs.

I honestly cannot wait to get the fuck out of this house.

I (F23) want to start by saying I love my body! I have always been a fit person, I go to gym 4-5x a week, eat healthy, and do 5kms walk/run 1-2x a week. I always get compliments too. I’ve done a full body checkup, everything was perfect, besides my ferritin levels (it was 14, it should be at least 30). That’s because I lost lots of blood last year due to spouse abuse. I got divorced almost 2 months ago, so that made me even more motivated to work on myself.

My dad constantly talks about how “skinny” I am and that I need to get fat.. he talks about how my ex wouldn’t have left me if I was fat.. like what? For context, my ex husband literally was lazy piece of shit that SA’d me and never got a job throughout my whole marriage and would leach off of my money. He’d coerce me to sleep with him every single day up to 3x a day and even that wasn’t enough for him because he’d watch corn behind my back..

I get my period and become a bit sick, my dad says look at ur face u look like a mouse. I told my family I want nose fillers, he started saying how i am tricking men and that I need to get fat. He says “im a man and i know how men thinks and no one wants a skinny women as their wife, thats why he left you” like this makes me hurt. I know that his words are BS and I’m a confident person, it’s just that he keeps saying these things all the time, it hurts me because he’s my dad..

Who’s gonna tell him everyone has different preferences. Because when I tell him this, he thinks I’m saying Bs.

I honestly cannot wait to get the fuck out of this house.

Trigger warning!

It has been about three weeks since my husband and I separated. We are verbally divorced, but still going through the legal divorce process. He was my first love, my first kiss, and my first everything. We were together for 1 year and 9 months, and the relationship became deeply abusive. There was sexual coercion/assault that left me losing 2L of blood and needing the ER, along with financial abuse, emotional cruelty, and constant stress. I was in survival mode for so long that I completely lost myself.

Before I met him, I was very high maintenance, and someone who really took care of herself, always get compliments and get approached by men. During marriages I became drained, my mental health suffered, my skin got worse, and at one point he told me he wasn’t attracted anymore because of my pimples. That destroyed me. Now that I got a divorce, my skin started clearing, my face became brighter, and just got back my glow. I become more and more beautiful each day.

The confusing part is that I felt disgust toward him for a long time. Even the day I left, I felt disgust. I still want the divorce. If the papers were in front of me right now, I would sign them. But I also miss him so much. I think about him constantly. I wish I could unlove him. My mind keeps pulling me into intense daydreams about being close to him again, even sexually, even though I know it would hurt me emotionally. Sometimes I feel angry and repulsed by him, and other times I crave his comfort, attention, and closeness. It makes me feel ashamed and confused.

A few days ago, I saw him at a bakery. He tried to talk to me, but I ignored him and walked past. Later, I noticed him standing front of my car so I could see him. Part of me found it pathetic, but another part of me liked knowing he wanted me to notice him. I hate admitting that, but it is true. He has emailed me multiple times saying he wants to reconcile, loves me, and regrets everything. But I do not trust him, especially because this started only a couple hours after I packed my belongings and left his place.

To make things harder, we are both supposed to be in the same dental hygiene program in September 2026. I keep imagining scenarios where we end up near each other, helping each other, or getting s*xual close without commitment. I know these thoughts are not helping me move on. I do not want to fix him. I want him to fix himself. But I also know I cannot wait around hoping he changes.

Has anyone else experienced this after leaving an abusive relationship? How do you deal with missing someone who hurt you badly? How do you stop obsessing and daydreaming when part of you still feels attached?

TW!

It has been about 3 weeks since my husband and I separated. We are verbally divorced, but still in the legal process of divorce.

He was my first love, my first kiss, and my first everything. We were together for 1 year and 9 months. The relationship was very abusive. There was sexual coercion/assault (I lost 2L of blood and had to go to ER), financial abuse, emotional cruelty, and constant stress. I was in survival mode for so long that I completely lost myself.

Before this relationship, I was very high maintenance, someone who took care of herself, felt confident, and was used to being complimented and approached all the time. But during the marriage, I became so drained. My skin got worse, my mental health suffered at a point he told me he didn’t feel attracted to me because of my pimples. That destroyed me.

The confusing part is that I had disgust toward him for a long time. Even the day I left, I felt disgust. I still want to finalize the divorce. If the papers were in front of me right now, I would sign them. I know he hurt me deeply, and I know I don’t want to go back to that marriage.

But at the same time, I miss him so much. I think about him every-time. I wish I could unlove him. I keep having intense daydreams about him and us being close again and us being s*xual even though I know it is harmful for me. I feel like the trauma, attachment, and confusion have made my mind obsess over him. Sometimes I feel angry and disgusted by him, and other times I crave comfort, affection, and closeness from him. It makes me feel so confused and ashamed.

A few days ago, I saw him at a bakery. He tried to talk to me, but I ignored him and walked past him. Later, I sat in my car and noticed him standing where I could see him. Part of me found it pathetic, but another part of me liked knowing he wanted me to see him. I hate admitting that, but it is the truth. He did email me a bunch of times that he wants to reconcile, he loves me, he regrets everything, but I don’t trust him especially since he did that 2 hours after I packed my belongings from his place.

To make things harder, we are both gonna be in the same dental hygiene program in September 2026. I keep imagining scenarios (being partners, helping each other out, doing s*xual things without commitment) with him there, and I know it is not helping me move on. I don’t want to fix him. I want him to fix himself. But I also know I cannot wait around hoping he changes. I want to heal and move on, but my mind keeps pulling me back to him.

Has anyone else experienced this after leaving an abusive relationship? How do you deal with missing someone you know hurt you badly? How do you stop obsessing and daydreaming when part of you still feels attached?