u/theriptiide

this fucking line hits harder when you used to do that and the name you chose together was Hayden

I’m a flower in this sterile land
You took me out of the soil to plant me in the sand
And now that I’m withering away
You ask me what else I could need
Something…

I’m a shooting star above this godforsaken place
You hand me your wishes so I can carry them away
But they weigh too much, and this weight is not mine
But I’ll try

I’m the prey in the wild
But I was never taught how to run away
So I’ll stay as you consume me
It’s all I’ve ever heard when they sang about love anyway

I’m a plant in the shade
So I bend my way toward the light
But every time that I stretch, I grow weaker
Gravity starts pulling me to the ground, so I’ll give up

You told me once I was a foreign land
Too much to know, not safe to stay
So I live clinging to the lines in the sand
What would it take to be known for who I am?

So I sit on the coast as you sail away
I’m the wind in your sails, I’m paving your way
You got frightened by the idea of all that I hold
You now search for something that’s given, not sold

I’m the wind in your candle, I could make you stronger
But I’m blowing away your will so I could have you for longer

My shoreline is jagged, the waves come and go
They all took a piece, a stone to be thrown
But once their sore eyes caught the steadiest land to see
What was so magnificent gets now lost in the blue sea

i used to wish you were dead, is so sad
but it’s true
and know that you are i wish you were here
wish you repent yourself and tell me you love me
i know it’s a dream and it’s sitting so so far away

six feet on the ground, you lie where you put me
made me feel dead when i just wanted your loving
and know that you’re gone, i can’t have a home
unfortunately only you could have had me that

i misread the signs, love is a punch
hate is a kiss and your pointing a gun
put me against the wall how could i leave
is all that i know and is all that you claimed that i needed

so i’ve been wide awake since the day that you’ve made me
lying in the dark with your words in the ceiling
you’ve opened my body and buried your hatches
i’m digging my soul, so god can finally give me some rest

I caught myself crying on the way home
Made myself a fool ’cause I was feeling alone
Watched as the kids played in the street
They really know nothing

I asked you if you could bend down
My eyes are teary, so I can’t look now
Everything in me weighs a thousand pounds
How come other people’s decisions crush you to the ground?

I’m weak, I just want to rest
Oh God, give strength to my body
’Cause it’s all that I have

Your breath feels like poison, it’s burning my leaves
Everything you sow, you kill
We try to grow stronger, but it only makes us leave
I’m a clock you rewind, I bend to your will

I just needed to vent

se minha mãe soubesse o quão perto eu estou de pegar uma cartela de remédio e tomar toda, ela não estaria duvidando de mim e esperando que eu tenha forças de ir no médico sozinho

they’ve been telling stories of things that i should’ve known
every part of me is broken but they scream that i did it on my own
and i know what i feel but i’m used to blaming myself
tell me, how did you do this to the kid that lies on the shelf

i try to run but everywhere i go, it’s you, everything that i see
this place is a mirror reflecting the worst parts of me
and i dream of getting out but i guess that this is my home
so i should just wake up, in the morning the dream will be gone

roots of a dying tree creep through the walls of my haven
built up with the scarce pieces of love they gave me when i was worthy of them
i’m weak, underfed by the things that you should’ve offered me
but i’m full of the judgment you spit when we both know i don’t meet your needs

you were willing to carve an opposite sculpture of you
but now when you see me, i bet that you see yourself too
and i just don’t get how someone could hate a thing that they’ve built
you’ve tried to escape, but all the roads are leading to you

they’ve been telling stories of things that i should’ve known
every part of me is broken but they scream that i did it on my own
and i know what i feel but i’m used to blaming myself
tell me, how did you do this to the kid that lies on the shelf

i try to run but everywhere i go, it’s you, everything that i see
this place is a mirror reflecting the worst parts of me
and i dream of getting out but i guess that this is my home
so i should just wake up, in the morning the dream will be gone

roots of a dying tree creep through the walls of my haven
built up with the scarce pieces of love they gave me when i was worthy of them
i’m weak, underfed by the things that you should’ve offered me
but i’m full of the judgment you spit when we both know i don’t meet your needs

you were willing to carve an opposite sculpture of you
but now when you see me, i bet that you see yourself too
and i just don’t get how someone could hate a thing that they’ve built
you’ve tried to escape, but all the roads are leading to you

they’ve been telling stories of things that i should’ve known
every part of me is broken but they scream that i did it on my own
and i know what i feel but i’m used to blaming myself
tell me, how did you do this to the kid that lies on the shelf

i try to run but everywhere i go, it’s you, everything that i see
this place is a mirror reflecting the worst parts of me
and i dream of getting out but i guess that this is my home
so i should just wake up, in the morning the dream will be gone

roots of a dying tree creep through the walls of my haven
built up with the scarce pieces of love they gave me when i was worthy of them
i’m weak, underfed by the things that you should’ve offered me
but i’m full of the judgment you spit when we both know i don’t meet your needs

you were willing to carve an opposite sculpture of you
but now when you see me, i bet that you see yourself too
and i just don’t get how someone could hate a thing that they’ve built
you’ve tried to escape, but all the roads are leading to you

i dream of the day that i will be seen
feel everything as they’re burning my skin
forget everything as i rise up above
holding the hands of the ones that i love

they’ll say the words that i needed to hear
oh, what a shame that i’m no longer here
i will forgive myself for choosing this way
the pain is too much, but it’ll settle someday

i’m no longer a weight, a chain, or a stone
i’ll be a reminder to care for the ones that you love
and not light the fire with their heads in the stove

you say i’m a life buoy, but i’m the anchor
i’m pulling you down, can’t you see?
it’s coming again, the rainstorm
we both will get soaked, but there’s nothing wrong

can’t you see, we’re running in circles again
there’s a blue hole between us and i’m screaming
but it comes back the same

can you build a bridge cause i’m too weak for that
by the time you reach me i might have fixed it in my head

cause i keep an ocean inside
and it’s out of reach
but you still feel the riptide

and i’m drowning
so you can’t save me

there’s a light up there, and it’s calling for me
i know that once i break through the surface
it’ll all be clear

i’ll see the waves from above
and i’ll cure us, my love

but the pressure keeps on pushing me down
i’m being pushed away from you by the undertow
you can’t see, so you’ll blame me
and i’ll wear this suit proudly cause i can’t speak

and i’m drowning
i’m drowning for you
i’m drowning
and there’s nothing you could do

Can you stop the sand from running out?
Give me a day or maybe a week
My body is weak, and I cannot speak
My lifetime is running out

Leave me alone or lie next to me
I don’t know what I want, but I know what I need
I’m standing on the edge, willing to jump
I’m too strong to end this and too weak to run

I’m here in the hallway, staring at the door
They say it gets better, but I can’t wait anymore
I stand here, a dead weight, a step is too much for me
Too sad to try to go back, too scared to leave