I think my dad is in a “romance” scam
My dad is 69 and has been in a scam for 3 years. It’s affecting our whole family actually and my family doesn’t know what to do. We grew up mormon, and my mom got married to him at a very young age. He converted and everything but I always picked up on the codependency of their relationship. He has a broken back and has been really sick lately.
I didn’t know for a long time that I had an extra sibling. I didn’t find out until I was 20 years old. But he’s lost a younger brother and ever since then he has been a completely different person. He worked for the IRS and lost a case when it came to being fired for his disability ( important context). I’m convinced it’s a scam because he’s been helping us financially by basically doing our taxes for us or getting us on our feet when it came to college. That wasn’t until he got a call from this woman who claimed to be his long lost daughter. I immediately grew suspicious and even asked my family “uh.. are you sure it’s not a scammer?” and they were like no! she knows everyone in his personal circle! So I thought well, it’s not affecting me and as long as he’s happy right? I just put my faith into it because it’s my father, who has helped me and loved me for most of my life. He’s a very good person and has always been a good husband to my mom. At least that’s what I thought. She sent a photo of herself and added herself to our family group chat and it was a girl with hella plastic surgery. My brothers would joke about how she looks like someone from 90 day fiancé. I laughed along but I felt unsettled and worried. I knew in my heart that this woman cannot be trusted. I even google image reversed her photo and didn’t get anything. Then the crazy stories happened where she apparently had a daughter with cancer and needed money for that. And then she had a son who her evil mother put in jail and he’s 14 so she needs money to bail him out.. which was a stupid story to begin with. So then I took concern for that and told my dad. He was in COMPLETE denial. Shut down every time I would confront him and I was dismissed and ignored. I then thought ya know what, this isn’t affecting me so why should I care. I am ALWAYS being dismissed, but everyone would convince me that I was being the stupid one who didn’t know any better since I’m the youngest.
Apparently this person convinced him that she had access to the best disability attorney that could help him win a million dollars. That locked him in mentally, and the attorney would ask for thousands of dollars every weekend. It would stress my mom out but he would pressure her to ask us for money for the scam she blindly believed. I had just won a lawsuit but forgot to change my address since I moved out to go to school. I got a call from my dad at the time. He asked to borrow $3k since he got my check. I agreed that he could open my mail because I wanted to trust him because I relied on him too much my whole life (I know, big mistake). My mom has a jointed bank account with me that she would use to send money to me and she told me she’d send the money to my bank account from my check since I didn’t have a car to drive up with. I guess they were trying to reach me while I was sleeping and I woke up to many missed calls. I got a text from my dad telling me he used a FAT chunk of money from my lawsuit for his sketchy case, so now I was left with barely anything. I just used the rest of it to get a car and move out of my dorms because I was miserable and wanted to move off campus. After years of just making stupid decisions and going through trauma on my own, I kind of started to disown my dad after that. My mental health was pretty terrible so I moved back home and took a leave of absence because my car broke down. My dad said he could pay for it but I kept telling him no we need to figure out how to get rid of it and surrender it. But yet again, he convinced me and I gave him money that he used towards the scammer. Mind you, the scammer died twice from her sickness but then came back because she was “hacked.” I thought she “died” the second time for good since my mom told us that. I didn’t find out that she was back in his life. Now we’re on the verge of losing our home because my dad speaks to this person everyday who asks for money at least once or twice a month, and “helps” us with our utilities. So that was my mom’s reasoning to believing the scammer actually cares.
I know it’s a long story but I am at my
wits. I should move out and get away but my family financially relies on each other.. it’s pretty bad. But I also just want this person out of our lives completely because I am literally losing my mind and I feel pretty depressed and lost. I keep blaming myself for wanting to trust my dad. I miss my childhood and I hate that I am heading to the path of just being homeless and carless. I am just so lost. Is this a romance scam? Am I crazy??
Also to add, I am pretty mentally unstable and feel really alone right now. Just be nice and don’t judge. I am already pretty embarrassed as it is. Also the scammer convinced my dad that I can’t be trusted with this special case and verbally insults him and stresses him out. She got mad that they gave me her number to send her money since my mom uses me like a bank account now. I don’t know, I am the only sibling out 5 who seems to be wanting to do something about it.