u/thisriveriswild70

Hey folks,

I (54m) have a date tomorrow with a (49f) lady. 2nd date. She suggested going for a walk. I thought it was a great idea. We set up the time and meet up location. I get a separate text an hour later asking; “are you ok with dogs “ to which I was tempted to reply; “are you ok with kids “

She doesn’t have it listed on her profile and no pictures. She doesn’t have kids.
She never mentioned the dog on date one.

The last person I dated had a dog and it was basically like dating both of them. I loved the dog, he’s a great dog. It impacted all parts of our dating. I think dog owners know all of this so I’m not sure I need to list the restrictions. Walk morning, walk evenings, home after dinner to let out, reservation times need to take into account the dog, weekends have some sort of structure around the kids, take on local trips, bigger trips to Europe for 2 weeks difficult, dog in the room during sex, dog not in the room during sex and it’s scratching at door, dog sleeping in the bed. All of these things aren’t inherently bad. Owning a dog is a big responsibility.

I have 2 fully grown kids they are both off to school in the fall. I now have complete flexibility. She doesn’t have kids.

I am thinking of messaging her and saying I have no problem the dog coming on the walk however I know dogs are a long term responsibility and I am looking for something that will be less scheduled/rigid. Ok probably not that.

I suspect a dog owner would be happy with this reply as they would likely feel like they dodged a bullet. I suspect dog owners don’t see it this way. I suspect, like my past gf she say it as a major bonus to have a dog

This lady in messaging said- oh it’s so nice your kids are over it allows for so much more flexibility and went onto day that she doesn’t date people with kids that aren’t self sufficient which I know find super weird.

Honestly, I’m sure she could give 2 fucks given we have met once and messaged a bunch of times. Just don’t want to be a dick. Like her, I want more flexibility.

Also I feel like I’ve been dogfished

Update- I hadn’t replied to her message as I was sorting through these replies.

Hey, I know I just sort of sprung the dog on you. Our date time is when I normally walk him, so I am just trying to kill 2 birds with one stone. If you’re not ok with it I get it. I’m not trying to integrate my dog on date two, but he is the best! If you’re not good with it, I get it. I can try to get to him sooner to walk him or we can maybe reschedule.
Lmk C

I’m going to go. I left it pretty long and it’s 60 minutes of my life. If I’m not into it I can tell her I don’t feel a connection.
Leave the dog out of it.

Thanks for all the replies. Some were supportive, challenging and hilarious!

Elle McPerson hot, so DOF 😂

Thoughts on the changes to Hinge where you get a heart signal on your profile if you are considered engaging vulnerable and ask thoughtful questions ( line you read the profile ) they are now going to only let likes stay in your in box for 2 weeks, then they are gone.

At first I was mixed on both, but I do like the signals idea. I think it is accurate. I look at my matches that have it and those that don’t and I can actually see the contrast.

As far as the dropping the “likes” at first I didn’t like it. However, the reality is I was using them as “potential” and really never get back to them. Even if I have 3 convos going and see someone that stands out I will like them back.

What are your thoughts?