Some men should understand the power imbalance between genders should be used responsibly
Obviously in Islam men have more power. But I often see men use this to sort of throw it in women’s faces harshly. Yes I understand there are many feminists and I don’t agree with them but also, Allah gave you this power and you should use it responsibly. You have the right to stop your spouse from leaving the house, you have the right to divorce more easily, you physically have more power, you have the right to not let your spouse work and also you aren’t required to provide above the minimum, you have the right to get a second wife, you have the right to where you live and your wife must go with you. And that’s all fine , but be mindful of how you use that power.
I see men say things like “if she did xyz ill divorce her” or boasting how they can get multiple wives or encouraging secret wives or not wanting her to work but also not be generous with what you make and say “well technically i provide the minimum” and never get her a gift or act like if a wife ever refuses intimacy even once she’s automatically a horrible Muslim. Yes we know halal and haram but if you go about things in a very rigid way of “oh its halal so ill do it” or “well she did this haram thing so she deserves how i treat her” like such a rigid way of life , that isn’t how marriage is supposed to be.
I am NOT encouraging doing haram. I’m saying just because you’re allowed to do something , just because something is halal, does not always mean you should do it without thinking of consequences (if that halal thing is optional) and just because a woman may have flaws, or may some times sin, doesn’t automatically mean she’s a horrible wife.
I’m not denying any Hadith, im not denying any ruling, and I’m not denying a man and woman has rights. I’m just saying calm down, don’t go about things in such a harsh and rigid way. As men you’re leaders. Imagine how scary a women would feel when she marries a man like this. If men constantly go around saying in such a harsh tone “a woman must obey! A man can have a secret second wife! A woman can never leave without my permission” while never mentioning how you will treat her well, care for her, do extra things for her and just acting like you’re going to be this mean scary controlling person, you are steering women away from Islam! It’s almost like some men talk in a way that sounds more harsh because want to make women upset. Again I’m not denying anything from Islam. But women are more emotional and you can word things in Islam in a kinder way and you can be a leader while still being reasonably flexible and considering her feelings. For example, yes your wife needs to move where ever you move but that doesn’t mean you aren’t allowed to hear her out and consider her opinion even though you have the final say.
Men also have to remember in Islam you should treat women kindly. If you are harsh with us, we will break. “Act kindly towards women, for they were created from a rib, and the most crooked part of a rib is its uppermost. If you attempt to straighten it; you will break it, and if you leave it alone it will remain crooked; so act kindly toward women”
A lot of men who are this way are also just immature or watch too much red pill content that make them think “I have to be mean to women”. Usually the traditional Muslim men that are mature, understand that they have power and rights and that they should use it wisely while considering their wife’s feelings. YES there is a power imbalance between the genders. There is nothing wrong in that. There’s a power imbalance between a mother and child as well. But in both cases, use your power responsibly.