u/throwRA120496

Today I was just talking to him, casually like any other day and he said he watched a bunch of videos last night and I was like “oh? (He told me there’s was a power blackout in his area and his devices were low on charge and he wanted to save them, which I know is true) I thought there was no power” and then he proceeded to tell me what he was doing until the power came back in night followed by which he talked to a friend and went to sleep, and then I remembered that all of this happened day before, not yesterday.

But assuming he also got confused with the dates I just asked him, so when’d you watch the videos? And then clarified to him saying all of this was day before not yesterday oops haha, I accidentally gaslit you too. And was like “so what about the videos?”

But by then he got very serious and said are you open to relationship trust building exercises? I was taken back but I was like yeah sure. Then he suggested we go to couples therapy.

And this came out of nowhere (for me). The last few months with him have literally solidified him as my forever person in my head (we’ve been together for over a year now, and been best friends for 2 years before that). I felt like everything was happy and perfect, even when we argued once in a while it was great.

But I guess not. I don’t know, I feel like someone woke me up from some kind of daydream. I told him to schedule the session and everything, but I can’t shake the feeling that I’ve been missing someone important all along that’s a make or break.

And yes, I asked him what happened, why suddenly and all that. He just said it’s better to prevent than cure, but I know something else is up.

Today I messed up really bad and the guilt is weighing on me and I didn’t know where else to go or what else to do so here I am.

My dad got into a road rage induced argument with 4 different guys on the street when we were parked on the side of the road waiting for my mom and sister. They were asking us to move ahead a little so they could easily pass through the other lane. There was technically enough space, but for context in India so the average driver is bad at driving to international standards.

I was extremely scared during this entire time because he was quite literally picking fights with them, refusing to move, yelling, threatening etc. I felt like my safety was jeopardized because of his behavior. Eventually they came and we left and I told my mom he got into a fight.

Later in the evening she said “see he remembers things like your uncle like egg puff and makes the effort to go and get it for him, so we have to just deal with his bad side” and to that I said “ma, he’s going to get killed if he keeps acting like this we see these random anger induced cases like this in the news all the time” and I couldn’t believe I said that and she also told me to shut my mouth because if I say things like this it will become true.

Now I don’t know what to do, we didn’t get to talk about it afterwards but I’m churning in guilt for saying that statement, while at the same time understanding the trueness of the same and how he is actually jeopardizing all of our safety with this behavior.

Today I messed up really bad and the guilt is weighing on me and I didn’t know where else to go or what else to do so here I am.

My dad got into a road rage induced argument with 4 different guys on the street when we were parked on the side of the road waiting for my mom and sister. They were asking us to move ahead a little so they could easily pass through the other lane. There was technically enough space, but for context in India so the average driver is bad at driving to international standards.

I was extremely scared during this entire time because he was quite literally picking fights with them, refusing to move, yelling, threatening etc. I felt like my safety was jeopardized because of his behavior. Eventually they came and we left and I told my mom he got into a fight.

Later in the evening she said “see he remembers things like your uncle like egg puff and makes the effort to go and get it for him, so we have to just deal with his bad side” and to that I said “ma, he’s going to get killed if he keeps acting like this we see these random anger induced cases like this in the news all the time” and I couldn’t believe I said that and she also told me to shut my mouth because if I say things like this it will become true.

Now I don’t know what to do, we didn’t get to talk about it afterwards but I’m churning in guilt for saying that statement, while at the same time understanding the trueness of the same and how he is actually jeopardizing all of our safety with this behavior.