u/throwawayW35654

I used to go to a heavily religious university, so most of my followers/following on social media are individuals I met there. And I swear to GOD every other week, someone's posted up about "IM PREGNANT" or "CELEBRATING XYZ'S BABY SHOWER" or "WE'RE PREGNANT" (which I hate the most because no, Josh, YOU are not pregnant. Your sorry wife is.) and I'm so fucking sick of it. I block and block and block but there's ALWAYS someone's stupid baby bump on my fucking screen and I hate it.

And then I get fucking SHAMED for not wanting a kid. Holy SHIT just rip out my reproductive organs. God fucking damn it I hate it I hate it I hate it.

I had an incident during sex that would put me at risk for pregnancy and I have an EXTREME fear of pregnancy that's borderline harmful to myself. Sex happened 9 days after day 1 of my period (period ended the day before sex). Had a Plan B on standby (I always do just in case) so I was able to take it literally immediately after. Had no issues until 2 days ago (11 days after sex), I got that chunky brown blood/discharge(?) and sore breasts. I genuinely cannot tell if it's my extreme anxiety or not, but they seem a little bigger (not by much)? I have a unexpired mife on standby as well (can you tell I'm petrified of pregnancy), but my anxiety genuinely cannot handle a pregnancy test alone as I would genuinely spiral and cannot predict what I would do if I saw a positive (despite having the mife because I *need* a sure way to know it would work to fully terminate the pregnancy).

I am so fucking scared and the anxiety just waiting to see what my body does is killing me. I'm completely alone, my boyfriend feels horrible, but is long-distance and genuinely cannot get to me until about 2 weeks away. Any comfort, advice, tips, whatever would be so incredibly helpful. Thanks in advance.

Full Tmeline:

Period Starts --8 days-- Period Ends --1 day-- Accidental Unprotected Sex (2 minutes later Plan B was taken) --11 days-- Brown Blood and Sore Breasts Start --2 days-- Today