u/throwawaybpd34558

Hello, unsure if anyone will see this but I just desperately need to vent. Also sorry for bad my English, it is not my native language. I have posted this in a few subreddits already, but I was recommended to post in this one.

I (21 yrs) was diagnosed with bpd last year and have been going to group therapy for it.

My bpd has been a big stressor in my relationship with my Partner (24yrs), especially after we moved in together.

The stress reached a bit of a breaking point a few months ago where my partner basically explained that they love me but that they are extremely drained because I keep asking if they want to break up all the time. This was a wake-up call for me and I really wanted to stop hurting them, so stopped doing that.

At my worst I generally say a lot of things that stem from insecurity, these things can be very hurtful and draining to hear everyday, and I am actively doing my best to stop this pattern. Things have been going well the last two months and I genuinenly thought I was really improving.

Today I slipped up and said something hurtful again, and they obviously got hurt (they didn’t yell or anything but they were clearly angry) and told me that I haven’t gotten better at all and that they haven’t noticed any change at all the last two months.

My partner is not the type to say something they don’t mean, so I do not think they said this just because they were hurt. I think they were telling the truth and I am not mad that they said this, I want them to tell me the truth , I am just very shocked and sad that I didn’t actually get better. I want to also clarify that I do not view myself as the victim in this situation, I just feel horrible because I genuinenly thought I was doing better And I just want to fix this. I genuinely do not know what to do because I thought I was doing the right thing for once. I love my partner and I don’t want to hurt them. I just don’t know what is not clicking for me.

I’m sorry if this doesn’t follow the subreddit rules, please feel free to remove this if it doesn’t

Hello, unsure if anyone will see this but I just desperately need to vent. Also sorry for bad my English, it is not my native language.

I (21 yrs) was diagnosed with bpd last year and have been going to group therapy for it.

My bpd has been a big stressor in my relationship with my Partner (24yrs), especially after we moved in together.

The stress reached a bit of a breaking point a few months ago where my partner basically explained that they love me but that they are extremely drained because I keep asking if they want to break up all the time, this is of course very understandable and I am amazed at their patience, however I wish they did not have to show me this much patience. This was a wake-up call for me and I want to stop hurting them, so stopped doing that.

At my worst I generally say a lot of things that stem from insecurity, these things can be very hurtful and draining to hear everyday, and I am actively doing my best to stop this pattern. Things have been going well the last two months and I genuinenly thought I was really improving.

Today I slipped up and said something stupid again, and they kinda «snapped» (they didn’t yell or anything but they were clearly angry) and told me that I haven’t gotten better at all and that they haven’t noticed any change at all the last two months.

I am not mad that they said this, I want them to tell me the truth , I am just very shocked and sad that I didn’t actually get better. And I just want to fix this. I genuinely do not know what to do because I thought I was doing the right thing for once. I love my partner and I don’t want to hurt them. I just don’t know what is not clicking for me.

Hello, unsure if anyone will see this but I just desperately need to vent. Also sorry for bad my English, it is not my native language.

I (21 yrs) was diagnosed with bpd last year and have been going to group therapy for it.

My bpd has been a big stressor in my relationship with my Partner (24yrs), especially after we moved in together.

The stress reached a bit of a breaking point a few months ago where my partner basically explained that they love me but that they are extremely drained because I keep asking if they want to break up all the time. This was a wake-up call for me and I really wanted to stop hurting them, so stopped doing that.

At my worst I generally say a lot of things that stem from insecurity, these things can be very hurtful and draining to hear everyday, and I am actively doing my best to stop this pattern. Things have been going well the last two months and I genuinenly thought I was really improving.

Today I slipped up and said something stupid again, and they kinda «snapped» (they didn’t yell or anything but they were clearly angry) and told me that I haven’t gotten better at all and that they haven’t noticed any change at all the last two months.

I am not mad that they said this, I want them to tell me the truth , I am just very shocked and sad that I didn’t actually get better. And I just want to fix this. I genuinely do not know what to do because I thought I was doing the right thing for once. I love my partner and I don’t want to hurt them. I just don’t know what is not clicking for me.

I’m sorry if this doesn’t follow the subreddit rules, please feel free to remove this if it doesn’t