u/tiara-bug

My family is just one of the reasons i don’t have kids, but it’s definitely a reason. Sometimes i read parenting books and articles to see how children should be raised. I don’t think i would ever hit a child in a rage, but would i have an unreasonable expectation of chores and responsibilities? Would i expect them to suffer to build resilience? Would i be upset and grumpy if they weren’t interested in my interests? Sometimes i see people interacting with misbehaving children i have the thought “why don’t you just MAKE them?” followed with horror by “but what would that look like?” I’m even ashamed right now because i called my absolutely beloved dog a “little fucker” after he disobeyed and ran off to bark at the neighbor cat this morning; “little fuckers” was one of my ubpd mom’s favorite names for us kids growing up.

We have a persimmon that drops fruit like every other year. How do people actually use it?? The fruit is at all different levels of ripe. I’ve tried different things i read online (cooking, ripening in a paper bag) but they did not work. Or maybe i was doing it wrong? Do i just have to gather and process small amounts at a time? I’d like to do some kind of preservation and baked goods. Also, thoughts on the best ways to get some of these to propagate in other areas? I’m sure the deer and wildlife spread some around, but I’m like to help.

My parents, in their 70s, live in a huge crumbling Victorian. They were mid-30s when her parents got a smaller house and early 40s when my dad’s parents downsized. They took in “family treasures” during both of these situations. There were things our grandparents wanted us to have and some that just seemed useful for my siblings and I when we got settled. My sister and i found spouses and got houses, but my parents wouldn’t give us any of the stuff. So we furnished our homes on our own. Meanwhile all the furniture and homegoods promised to us are crammed in my parents house, disassembled and stored, hidden in closets and the attic and extra bedrooms. I swear i’m not greedy; my mom tells us we need to take it, then doesn’t let us have it. My sister and i are late 40s, early 50s: we’re talking about what our own downsizing will look like. The time for these useful family heirlooms has passed! It makes me weirdly sad because it would have been nice to have lived with family stuff rather than buying crap. My parents intend to die in their house, so i could very well be elderly when i have to deal with their heaps. And the family stuff we were always told we’d get someday will not be useful and special; it will be a burden.