u/tlostenjoyer

If I accidentally cut someone off in traffic, I will think about it for a week and blame myself. If I say something or make a joke and no one reacts - I will feel shitty af. These are just examples off the top of my head. It's getting absolutely ridiculous, because I react like that to everything, even to the things that have zero impact on my life (in anonymous discussions on the Internet, for example). I fully understand that, but I just can't help myself.

It sucks, because am afraid of making even the smallest mistake. And that's one of the reasons why I am scared of people. A month ago I asked a girl out (knowing that I would probably get rejected, but I just needed some closure), she said no, and I am still worried about what she thinks of me. I am actually a bit proud of myself on that, for years I was rejected only through text messages, now irl too lmao.

This really stresses me out, and I don't really know how to deal with this.

My only friend is leaving the country in a couple of weeks, I have no idea how am I gonna make new friends. Even though I am still in uni (got expelled twice due to my fucking depression), it's so difficult, I feel like something is wrong with me on the core level.

I'm turning 23 in 4 days. Feeling absolutely fucking pathetic. I envy my little brother, who is 17 and he gets everything I dreamed of in my miserable life. Almost like we are from two completely different worlds.

Got a bit off topic. Sorry, just wanted to rant.

I care about your comments!!!