u/toastercowgomoo

I HATE MY JOB. I love the people, the fight benefits, and the hour long breaks. However everything else is garbage. Our management is awful which is my main reason for hating it here as well as the force mando shifts. I’ve been trying for a new job for months but the job market is awful!!! 😭 I’ve been at this for 3 years now and so ready to be out. Do yall like your job? How do i feel less miserable till i get a new job???

Also ppl need to stop flying american if they actually wanna get anywhere lol.

Hi!!! I’ve posted on here many times and I’m truly great full i found this place <3 My deconstructions process has been truly painful and devastating but the people in here have truly helped me and the bluntness I received from y’all has truly helped me wake up!! I’ve been journaling EVERYTHINGGGGG for months. I made a few prompts that have helped me get through this and allow y thoughts to flow better and i just wanted to share in case there’s someone else in here who’s also going through this difficult process.

1. ⁠What am i grieving that no one else seems to understand?
2. ⁠What version of myself never got the chance to exist?
3. ⁠If i could say something, scream something, with no consequences, what would i say?
4. ⁠Who benefited from me being quiet?
5. ⁠What rules made me fully distrust myself?
6. ⁠What am i afraid will happen if i fully become myself?
7. ⁠Which fears are actually mine, and which were taught to me?
8. ⁠What do i still feel guilty for even though I don’t think it’s wrong anymore?
9. ⁠If there were no punishment, what would I choose?
10. ⁠What kind of person do i want to be not who someone else told me to be.
11. ⁠What do i wish my parents understood about my experience?
12. ⁠If i could tell my younger self one thing what would it be?
13. ⁠How has this affected the way I trust people?
14. ⁠What am i proud of that no one else notices?
15. ⁠What freedoms do i have now that younger me dreamed about.
16. ⁠What does peace actually look like for me now?
17. ⁠What am i having trouble admitting is over?
18. ⁠Things i think im owed

Happy writing <3

I frequently mourn the person i could’ve been if i wasn’t ever a jw. Like i genuinely miss her. I don’t know who i am and i don’t know what my passions are because they’ve always been made for me. Now that im slowly discovering myself im realizing all my flaws come from this cult. Anyways, these were a few things i journaled hoping i see in myself one day.

1. I want to be kind without being a push over.
2. I want to be independent without feeling guilty.
3. I want to be curious with out being afraid of feeling guilty.
4. I want to be outspoken when someone hurts me.
5. I want to be someone who can change her mind.
6. I want to be someone who doesn’t need everyone approval.
7. I want to love people without needing them to believe exactly what I believe.
8. I want to make mistakes without thinking ive become a bad person.
9. I want to trust my own judgement.
10. I want to know that my worth doesn’t disappear when someone disapproves of me.

CAN YALL GET YOUR PLANES OUT ON TIME SO I CAN GO HOME???? DAYS NOW.

lol he’s 4 years younger than me (i’m 21) and we are veryyyyyy close. I know he doenst care for the cult very much from observing him at the meetings. Anywho he just sent a tiktok in the sibling group chat HATINGGGG on the caleb and sofia video about same sex marriage. That had to be an accident because my other brother is very devoted to the cult. I’m so curious as to what his opinion is about everything. We’ve been in this cult our whole lives.

I honestly feel for him. My mom was ranting to me recently he’s being doing “sinful stuff with a girl from his school” and i feel bad. Strict parents make sneaky kids she shoulda known that from me and i bet it’s even more difficult as a boy.

Anywho i hope i get to see him lately 1 on 1 and get to ask him but im kinda nervy. Hes so lucky hes not baptized ugh.

Im a 21F baptized for 3yrs and struggling rlly bad. I’ve been reading reddit stories for a few months now and it’s truly opened my eyes and made me realized how brainwashed me and my very devoted family are.

I’m so scared of reading the articles and books recommended to me bc i haven’t yet been able to fully accept what ive believed in my whole life isn’t really real. I’m truly crushed and devastated.

I cry and have panic attacks every night. Honestly i’m not rlly even doubting God himself, more so the gb and the lies i’ve been told my whole life to control my identity. I lie to my family my faith is still strong bc im scared of shunning. ugh help

The teenagers around in my area are genuinely awful people. I’m a 21F and i am no saint i was also a jhit once. But they’re getting so so so much worse. Obviously it has something to do with the cult but they’re all such horny disgusting messes hurting the other girls in the cult and i can’t help but feel for the girls. They’re all PIMI living at home with their families and i know so so so so so much drama because my brothers are younger. The drama absolutely could get them removed.

It pisses me off bc these are also 18 yr old ministerial servants. I want to ruin their reputation so bad but they’re my brothers friends and maybe even my brother i’m not sure. Do i snitch bruh help the sisters in their hall should not even think of looking up to these young boys.

(Sorry if im bad at explaining im rlly bad at words from being sheltered my whole life)

Does anyone have any stories that relate to this!!!?? And maybe a better understanding or explanation to why they’re like this!?

I’ve been raised in the truth all my 21 years. I’m
PIMO w a worldly bf and he’s ever against the cult ofc. I hardly go to meetings anymore and he knows and he wants to talk about how i feel about the cult but im too embarrassed. I’m embarrassed to admit what ive believed in my whole life isn’t real. It js makes me sad to talk about. He’s also rlly judgy so it’s uncomfy to talk about with him. UGH HELP has anyone felt this way.

I’m a PIMO 21F baptized at 18 who’s been born and raised in this religion. (typing this at a meeting as we speak lol).
I’ve had doubts about its teachings for probably a mf decade.
I moved out and did all the rebellious things my parents have no idea. I’ve been living a double
life for about a year and i have no idea how to escape. There’s a sister in my hall who i feel safe and close with who i really want to share my thoughts with.
I really just want to talk to someone about the governing body having an unusual amount of money, the blood transfusion, and the sex crimes.
I’ve been depressed for years and i thought moving out from my parents grasp would help. However, I’m living this double life so they don’t shun me… i want out im so depressed an anxious everyday. I have a secret bf as well who knows all about me being a witness and living a double life but he doesn’t know the doubts and stuff i have abt it. Should i express my thoughts with the sister? How do i fade out. How do i tell my family i want out but dont want to lose them either,

I’m a 21F and baptized at 18. Tbh right away i regretted my decision… i’m still loving this double life fully moved out. My parents are extremely blinded by this religion which makes it so hard for me. I love my family so much but living with them and faking my happiness was making me crazy… i couldn’t handle the lack of creative thinking. I felt like a robot i had no personality no interests bc if it didn’t go along with what jehovah loved it was bad. I’m still struggling with this…. i want tattoos i want to try a cigarette but the guilt eats me alive even when im not living with my family. I want out of my head so bad im so mentally tired and i feel like my mental status is making me waste so much potential i don’t know i have :/ lol i didn’t mean for this to be a vent but please im really curious what it was for you that made you realize this religion was toxic. For me, being myself was bad. And bc of that im unable to form any creative thinking or have serious convos bc it feels like im sinning.