u/toasterwaffle3

Im a girl in my mid 20s from California and I have been wanting to move New York recently. I have been back in the US for almost a year after living in Europe for three years. The reasons I want to move to new york are that I love living in a big city, I'm am super into the arts/dance and new york is such an immense cultural hub, big queer scene, fun nightlife, and there is just so much to do. I love how walkable it is too.

However, I'm worried that I am just getting fomo and that I would actually enjoy living in a different city more. For one, I have only lived in warm/temperate climates. I get cold super easily (but I do enjoy the cold weather) and I haaate humidity. I also am a generally stressed out person and I am worried I would get burnt out quickly by the fast pace and attitude of the city. If I didn't live in New York I would stay in California and move into the city (probably sf which i love).

New York is also dirtier and not as pretty as california (not a huge deal but not a plus). Also, my entire family is in California and after spending three years in another continent I would love to live near them again and be able to go to family events. The process of moving in within california would just be so much easier too, but I don't want to limit myself just to stay within my comfort zone.

I also only recently moved back from Europe and it was hard to leave my circle of friends and people who I had built connections with. If I moved to new york I know that it is not somewhere I could likely live in for a while but not forever, and the thought of having to leave my community behind again is a deterrent. But if I moved somewhere within california such as sf, I could see myself staying for a long time and I would be able to build relationships without anticipating leaving.

Financially I will be broke either way as my career doesnt pay well and both places are crazy expensive. But I have lived in expensive places on little money before so I will manage. I would definitely lock down a job before moving anywhere though

I think I would love new york but im trying to consider if it is actually best for me or if I am just afraid of losing out on the new york experience while i am young. I don't want to romanticize it and get there to realize that it's not actually what I needed at this point in my life. Thanks for the adviceeee

I’m a girl in my mid 20s and I babysit for a family nearby a few times a week. Today I was watching both kids at once when I usually just watch one and I have been helping out more while they are out of school for the summer. Today their neighbor came over to give one of the kids a present. He has introduced himself to me before and he knows the boys’ parents. He has also been over to the house before.

So when he came over today he asked if he could show the kid how to use it in the backyard and I agreed. He ended up staying longer than I thought he would but I didn’t say anything since because the older boy (6 y/o) adores him and was having so much fun. I was making sure his younger brother was occupied but I stayed with them all the whole time.

We chatted a bit (mostly small talk) but after a bit I think he asked me out??? He asked if I wanted to have a picnic or get coffee. The thing is I couldn’t tell if he meant with the kids or just me… i think he meant just me since he mentioned coffee. I gave him a halfhearted maybe and he didn’t push it. He is a nice guy but I absolutely do not want to go on a date with him or hang out with him. I have had many many experiences of guys who I thought were just being friendly who wanted to date me. He isn’t old, maybe about 30, but I am a lesbian lol. Also I don’t think it’s an appropriate thing to propose while I am working.

When their mom comes home I am going to ask if in the future she is ok with him visiting or if I should tell him to come back another time. Idk if I wanna tell her that he potentially asked me out…. He didn’t ask again when I seemed hesitant and he is a nice guy overall. Also the little boy loves him so much that he tried to sneak over to his house once he left….. which I definitely will be talking to his mom about. I hope I didn’t mess up by letting them hang out together, even though I was watching them the whole time and they have played together before.

Not sure what to do. I am personally totally fine with him coming over occasionally but I do not want to hang out with him outside of work. But I will talk to the parents about him paying us a visit. Any advice?

Update- I told the mom everything today and turned out she had invited him back over to show the boy how to play lacrosse but did not think he would come today otherwise she would have let me know. Also fyi i must have phrased this wrong bc I was always planning on telling the mom he came over. I asked what I should do going forward if he stops by and she said she is fine with it if he wants to come say hi and play for a bit. Maybe I didnt make it clear, but he is friends with the parents and has come over many times. I know I messed up by not texting or calling the mom to make sure it was ok that he came over. But the mom was not upset at all. Also turns out they saw him on the ring camera so they knew he was there. Though I acknowledge i should have texted them still and I will definitely do that in the future . He is not a total stranger guys!!!

Coming from further out on one of the bart lines for all three days. I have cheap accomodation booked but it is refundable. I'm instead considering biking the 5min to my bart station, taking bart, and biking to golden gate park. Same thing on the way back so I can save money and sleep in my own bed. My only concern is bart being overcrowded and not being able to catch the last train especially with a big bike. Has anyone done this before???

I went out to a restaurant for my friend’s birthday an there was five of us so the bill was pretty large. The restaurant added a 20% service charge to the bill which was $38.80 total. My friends said this probably doesn’t go to the waiters and so we need to add a tip on top of that. So in total I had to pay $16.76 for those two charges, plus tax it was $21. Keep in mind I ordered one drink and had one small plate of a shared dish because I don’t have tons of money to spend, so my food and drink total was only $26.20 without tax/tip. Now I get that because I was with a big party who ordered more than me that the tax and tip would be higher. But what is the deal with the service charge?? Our service charge and tip combined were 40% which just seems completely unreasonable to me. If you get a 20% service charge on the bill do you still tip?

I was started an account as a sitter but wasn’t getting accepted anywhere and decided to take THS up on the money back promise. Has anyone successfully gotten a refund? On the website it says

“You can cancel your membership and receive your money back if you have been unsuccessful in confirming a sit within 14 days of making your 5th application. This applies to your first-year membership only.”

Which I took to mean I could get it 14 days after my 5th application. I contacted them about 16 days after that application and they said I wasn’t eligible for a refund. Apparently it has to be BEFORE the 14 days marker. I looked at the website again and there is a second link after the part I pasted above saying to ask for a refund before the 14 days. Why do I have to search for that info? Why is it hidden??? Is there any way to get a refund?? I fear i have been bamboozled

I have been babysitting this boy who just turned six since the beginning of the year. Usually no longer than 3 hours at a time, but since it’s summer I’m watching him for a lot longer. We used to go to the park all the time, but he has lost interest. Now he just wants to spend every day at home. He LOVES baseball and basketball and wants me to play with him for hours on end. I am honestly just exhausted and with the california heat I really need some other way to occupy him. I’m in my 20s but I still just don’t have all the energy that he has. He likes painting sometimes, but he has so much energy and wants to play a lot of active games. Any ideas on enticing places to take him? Or activities that will keep him entertained but not completely tire me out?

I graduated with an English degree a few years back and I have completed two publishing internships recently. However, I have had absolutely zero success in getting a job/internship since. I am feeling pretty discouraged from going into publishing. The pay is so incredibly low for how much work these jobs are and while I think I would enjoy working in publishing, it is not my one true passion in life. I am wondering if there are any industries adjacent to publishing that anyone has found success in? My two internships were in editorial and with a lit agency. I also have a lot of teaching experience, but I do not want to do that any longer. I am interested in anything involving writing, editing, project management (on the publishing side I am very interested in production editorial) but I am not really into marketing or sales. Would love to hear other people's experiences. Thanks ;)

Help! I am applying for an incredible internship at a local press and I meet every single requirement except this one. They are asking for a writing/work sample including (but not limited to) social media, newsletters, press releases or other communication pieces. This internship is across multiple departments, including marketing, which is probably why they included this. I have done two internships before, one in editorial and the other for a literary agency, but I have no writing sample like this. Also I signed NDAs so I don't even think I can use anything from my last internships. I really have never worked in marketing and publicity before. Anyone have suggestions of other writing samples I could use? I really want to impress bc this is a really cool internship and it pays pretty well. Thanks!

I care a lot about my sister but I don’t really like her as a person. If we were not related she is not someone who I would spend time with. She is very immature and acts like she is a teenager despite being in her 20’s. She has no drive or motivation to graduate school and get a job or just do anything at all with her life. She is not anywhere close to being self sufficient without our parents. She spends literally her whole day watching tv since she works like 20 hr a week max and tv is genuinely the most important thing to her. We live in the same house currently and she is so incredibly messy no matter how much I ask her to keep communal living spaces clean. She does not take care of herself as she refuses to work out and eats junk food all the time. She acts like our parents are so annoying and judgmental just because they ask her to do something productive with her day. She is ungrateful even though she is still living off their money. She is the most sensitive person I have ever met and a slight joke will set her off. One time I made a joke how it was weird that she liked to eat a certain food cold and she got so upset and cried because I “called her weird.” She has some depression and adhd related issues but refuses to do anything to improve her mindset. And I myself have gone through my fair share of mental health issues so this isn’t a case of me just being ignorant. I know the only person who can really get yourself out of it is yourself.

I would give her a lot more grace if she were 15, but she is 23 years old. I feel so bad for not liking her sometimes, but I can’t help being so annoyed by her. Part of it is because we both live in the same household, though I am planning on moving out quite soon. She says I am too judgmental when I try to give her suggestions on ways to improve her life (like going to social events, quit vaping, exercise). It’s not that I don’t love her though, she is just infuriating. Like she is truly just a bum who would be homeless by now without our parents. Please tell me someone gets me.

I have applied to so many internships this summer and still haven’t landed anything. I already have two internships under my belt (one editorial with an indie publisher and one at a literary agency) and I had an interview for a big 5 internship but just found out that they went with another candidate. I was really optimistic about that one so im feeling pretty discouraged. Anyone know of any last minute summer internships still taking applications?

For context I have been diagnosed with social anxiety disorder. It's not super severe but in cases like these I definitely remeber that I have it lmao

I had gotten a book from a popular local bookstore and while I was reading it some pages start falling out. I emailed asking if I could get a replacement. They said no returns because it was too long after the purchase, and I explained that I was asking for an exchange. They emailed back saying I need a reciept to prove the purchase and I said I don't have it but I have proof of purchase on my card. I don't think I ever have exchanged a book at a bookstore so I just wanted to check if that would work, but I was very polite the whole time. So we had a little back and forth and then I got another email saying I could come in and pick up a replacement.

So yesterday I went in and the guys at the desk did not know what I was talking about at all. I showed them the damaged book and they said I couldn't return it. I said I understand if that's the case, but the only reason I'm asking is that I got an email telling me to come in. Then another work steps up and says that he was the first one to email me back. I showed him the email (which I guess was from a different guy) and he snapped at me saying "Look we already told you no multiple times." I completely froze bc I was not trying to put up a fight, just wanted to explain why I even came into the shop. I just apologized and said I wasn't trying to be trouble, but there must have been a miscommunication. I left and that short interaction literally ruined my entire day.

I don't think I am non confrontational, but when someone gets mad at me out of the blue I literally start crying and shaking. I literally dropped all my plans and went home to lay in bed because I was so upset. Now I am wondering was I wrong in this situation??? I wasn't trying to be difficult. I literally still feel like shit bc I don't want to make a customer service worker's day difficult. Thoughts?? Does anyone react this way when dealing with unexpected confrontation? Usually when I know I am in the right I can stand my ground when I am being confronted, but in this case I was so taken aback.

Also I have been recommend to smoke to help with social anxiety but it does not really help I was stoned during this entire interaction :/