u/tsleilaxo

So I was dating this man (I broke up with him about a month ago) for a bit and fell really deeply in love with him. He was perfect in almost every way, and I really enjoyed and cherished the time we spent together. He told me he has girl friends, which I don't really care about at all.

But then he hits me with this: "We travel and go on vacation together sometimes." I told him I don't care if he has friends who are girls, but going out and doing things alone with them, including things such as vacations, is not something I'm willing to accept with a man I have a relationship with.

He then freaks out and suggests I'm trying to control him, and that I don't trust him. I explained that I do trust him at the moment, but I don't trust women.
Later on, he texts me that he's in a full-blown anxiety crisis because I'm trying to control him like his ex-girlfriend. I explain I'm not trying to control him, and he has his own choices to make, but I can't accept him going on vacations with other women and stand firm on my boundaries. He then accuses me of crossing HIS boundaries.

Then he shifts to explaining that he sometimes goes to tech conferences with other women, a totally different story from what he explained earlier about going on vacations with another man's girlfriend ("and he's totally okay with it because they trust each other 100%"). Then he says they don't share a hotel or anything, they just meet up at conferences. This is different story because they apparently DID share the same hotel.

Am I wrong for thinking like this?

My bestie (28F) delivered her first little one seven days ago. Before she even left the hospital, my husband (31M) and I (26F) spent an entire weekend batch cooking and freezing roughly six weeks worth of dinners and desserts for her and her husband.
Why? Because six months ago when we brought our newborn home, my stepdaughter did the exact same thing for us. It saved our sanity. Zero cooking, zero decision fatigue, just heat and eat during the hardest weeks of our lives. We wanted to pay that forward.

The new mom? Thrilled. She specifically gushed about my husband's cooking he's the guy who always mans the grill at every BBQ and people literally request his dishes by name. She said having his meals waiting felt like "a warm hug every single night."

But here's where it gets weird.

Our mutual friends found out and went off. They called it "invasive." They said meal prep is "a family's job, not a friend's." One even used the word "tacky." They acted like we'd barged into their kitchen and taken over their lives instead of dropping off labeled containers they could use or not entirely at their own pace.
I never intended to replace anyone. Her family lives three states away. We just wanted her to not have to think about dinner while healing and figuring out motherhood. The planning alone took us days. Now I'm second-guessing a genuinely kind gesture because of outside opinions.

So did we cross a line, or are our friends gatekeeping what support is allowed to look like?