u/tsollrig

Hi there,

I've been on Jobseeker 8 months now, about 6 of which I was studying a full time cert 3. That was tough financially. I was previously working in admin, then support work fields and burnt out with both. It feels like I can't go back to either, and I'm now stressed and frustrated with myself because I don't want to do a low level cleaning or hospo job either. Not to mention I'm not having much success with those kinds of applications anyway, probably because I'm too qualified in other areas? More than anything I just want a kind patient person to help me see my strengths and help with my self confidence and self-esteem which I seem to have lost a lot of, despite being 32 years old and way behind where I want to be in life. For that reason I'm considering switching from online/self managed to an in person provider, of which there's only one anyway I think in the town I currently live in.

Is this a bad idea? Are they actually helpful?

Thankyou

I'm 32 and no longer want to work. I always pushed through jobs I've had, despite social anxiety, awkwardness, constant self-monitoring going on in my head. (Office jobs when I was younger). I pushed through harder manual labor jobs, but I know I actually have some brains and curiosity not being utilized (dishwasher, cleaning). I've done small stints of FOH/bar staff/customer service, but it's so much effort to mask - I want to be helpful, but I am just not a bright bubbly person with the social skills customers love to see. (and I'm self-conscious of my smile). I even worked in aged care, disability support and community care for awhile - and (this feels shameful to admit), still trying to understand why the thought of going back to that is so off-putting to me now. A thought has crossed my mind, that how can I help others live their best life, support them, when no one is helping me? When my own quality of life/relationships seems so low? I was a caretaker of my many younger siblings in my childhood. Selfishly, I want my life/job to be for me.

I did a Tafe course and that granted me a break from the stress of a workplace, but I'm struggling to survive on Centerlink, and the course was one I don't see myself actually having a future in.

I'm a competent woman and I've always worked. I take care of myself. I've also moved everywhere all the time, quietly keeping to myself, appreciating beautiful places.

But all jobs I see do not seem like options for me. All things I couldn't do or don't want to do for fear of the things I mentioned above. For years now I've had these kind of thoughts, what could I study, what could I try that would make me happier? Something to strive towards has always given me optimism and hope. But now my options seem to be so limited. Because most require me too have confidence in myself. Pretty sure I'm limiting myself, but I can't get out of it. It seems like the different things I've done over my life, the competence I have felt, is fading away. I am living a very simple life, in this small town, rarely socializing (I have no friends, but my siblings), exercising, looking after a loveable old dog, and trying to live with myself - as someone who spends way too much time scrolling social media reels, finds good reasons why new people shouldn't become a part of my life, and is slowly becoming more cynical.

Im 32f and I dont like the trajectory my life is going in. I have anxiety, but more than that, I think I'm developing a personality disorder - either avoidant or paranoid. (I dont know this for sure, but I slowly avoid more people and situations, and mistrust/dislike most people, because all seem to let me down). Options and hope for the future are really being impacted - in particular, actually being able to stick to a job, make friends, have a relationship. 

I want those things - and to be able to see them as actually possible. 

Ive had therapy on and off over the years, unfortunately I cant really say how those experiences have helped me, and I'd like to restart from scratch.

I signed up to betterhelp the other day and had a voice call session with a counsellor. She  explained how according to the cognitive model, our thoughts, feelings and behaviours are connected, and that core beliefs that dictate what I think and how I see the world, are causing the problems I'm having in my life.

I've looked into this online - and when I read how straightforward it apparently is, I want to despair. Maybe thats a core believe in action right there, but anyway. Maybe I don't really belive its possible for me to change.  

So my question is - if I am to give this my best shot. Decide that I'm going to put a plan in place to give myself a chance at happiness in this life - how do I go about this? Daily, monthly, yearly? 

How do I let go? 

I wish I had loving parents who knew how to help me and guide me. 

How do I reparent myself when I'm not sure what proper parenting looks like? 

Heck, how do I know I wouldn't be a terrible parent?

Please share, especially if you have had any success...maybe you became more open, more loving, more present, less judgemental? 

Hey all, I'll be finished the Cert 3 in IT in a few weeks, if I pass (probably just). Pretty unsure if ill continue with the Cert 4 when it's next offered in 2026.

I'm 32f and at a weird stage in my life where I'm trying to work out what I want to do.

Thoughts/expriences on doing either;

Cert 3 in fitness

Cert 2 electrical pre-apprenticeship

Cert 3 conservation and land management?

Thankyou