u/tthingy

So it's a very common thing for survivors of parental narcissistic abuse to grow up exhausted, tired, hopeless and somehow shineless (I've seen it in myself and in other people I've met on my healing journey).

My background: malignant indoors and covert outdoors narcissistic mom, enabler and covert narcissistic dad, bullying at school. My childhood was a nightmare as you can guess (I barely remember anything till my 16s as my brain suppressed most of it).

I can talk about this now (for a lot of years I felt ashamed and guilty), and after several time of therapy and deconstruction I've healed that somehow. Also took measures to have a more peaceful life; which include 0 contact with my nmom and a lot of boundaries with my dad.

However I feel drained. Like I'm missing the spark they took away from me, and I don't know how to get that back. I feel like a car that has refilled its fuel but is missing the spark to make that fuel move the car. Not sure how obvious that is for others but I'm pretty sure people who know me can feel and see that somehow.

Have you been able to get back your joy, positive energy, and willingness to keep living and moving forward? If so, can I ask how?

Neither in any other third-party app. SMTP restriction or something like that. Useless MicroSlop!!!!

You can't ask it anything without it going moral & unnecessarily judgemental and banning most results even with no reason when I'm not asking anything weird.

I switched to Gemini which replies to everything I ask.

Useless & hypocritical MicroSlop

And it was intended to punish Chromebook users as it worked great when it was there. Useless, disgusting and gross MICROSLOP

1. You're not doing anything wrong. You're not ungrateful, a bad son/daughter, and you're not punishing her. It's SURVIVAL and freedom.

2. She will not change. Maybe you keep thinking that over time she will. Or if you try harder. False. Over time will be the same, or even worse because you'll be older so will she.

3. You are not a bad person. Again, you're surviving. Narcissistic mothers use and abuse 2 wildcards: their woman and mother roles, both protected by society. Who would ever think that lovely woman and mom could be the way you know she truly is indoors? And they use that to hide and mask what they do, and to play with guilt too, including yours.

4. She's not a victim: she's abusive, liar, manipulative, victimizer, hypocritical and lots of other bad things you've experienced for sure.

5. And last but not least, she's not guilty. Yes, you read it well, she's not guilty. This may surprise you but it's something that took me a LOT of time to understand and what helped me the most: She's SICK. Sick in a way no one and especially you cannot fix. She's broken, and no matter what you do, it will drag you to hell again every single time you try. And because she's SO sick from the roots, it's impossible to fix her, and it's not your responsibility either. This doesn't excuse what she did/does but at least to me it helped me to understand why she behaves like that and to see what I lived from the distance instead from pain and resentment.

Does she still love you? Maybe she does, but this conditioned and twisted love and the abuse it brings with it isn't worth the pain, even if she's your mom.

I wish I had a healthy normal and lovely mom too I could count on. But I don't and I can't, and no matter how much I fought and tried it never worked. And never will. It's raw, it's cruel; but it's real and the truth.

Maybe we can't have a mom, but at least we can have peace. Sadly in our case these 2 things aren't compatible so we have to choose one or another.

For safety/privacy reasons some of us want/need a real app that allows to have separate sessions on the app and on the browser.

An independent/sandboxed real app, not an disguised embedded Edge PWA which cookies/token are linked to Edge's.

I can play (or not play) normal offline games but I have no control when it comes to online (used to be WoW for many years -not anymore-, then Mobile Legends and in a lower degree Arena or Valor).

There have been times of my life when I haven't played online in months or even years but lately I spend most of my free time on MMLL.

I'm aware I do it to calm down my mind from anxiety and pain but still I know it's not good for me.

Was there any trigger to you for dumping online games forever?

(Please don't come with "offline is evil as well"; this may vary from person to person and despite I'm aware I've spent much time playing offline too, I don't regret that and unlike online I can decide when to play or not).

The question is:

How to know if you got "just" the cookies stolen or all browsers stored passwords as well?

Context:

Early this week my PC got infected by some virus I downloaded believing it was something else.

I noticed because the next day my Facebook and Discord accounts were hacked (they added a 2nd email address to Facebook and a bot kept spamming stuff in all my discord subs/contacts).

I formatted my PC (used the Windows 11 "wipe all data" function, I hope it was enough), did a full scan with Defender/Malwarebytes/Bitdefender in all my drives/partitions, curated browser extensions, etc.

On the other hand I closed all sessions in my most important accounts, changed passwords, added 2FA, etc. Ofc drastically cut the downloading untrusted apps thing.

BUT I'm very concerned about the passwords of my browser as I'm stupid and I had all my accounts there (just switched to Bitwarden). I'm still changing passwords but I'm truly concerned/worried my personal data may be out there 😞

Is there any way to know if the browsers stored passwords were stolen as well?

Thanks in advance.

Being the 3 of them free, which one you think offers the best protection and why? Especially against infostealers and similar stuff

Hi, so I've used Defender for a lot of years but last week I downloaded an untrusted app and the next day my Facebook and Discord accounts were hacked.

I formatted my PC protected all my accounts by closing current sessions, changed passwords, added 2SV. Also did a scan on the other drives/partitions to remove old malicious apps I had stored.

Since then I've been super cautious with my safety and did a browser extensions curation, installed Malwarebytes, and stopped using untrusted software.

Right now I'm considering switching from Defender to another Antivirus as Defender has improved over the years but it obviously didn't protect me enough.

Is BitDefender the best free Antivirus alternative to you?

Both of my nparents (malignant indoors/covert outdoors mom, covert/enabler dad) are about 70 and I feel they'll live forever. Actually they're pretty healthy.

On the other hand I see loving parents from people around me passing but those 2 are immortal.

How old are yours?