u/uwu69696

Would anyone sell me their lava click 30 battery? I have the pods but can't find a place where they have the starter kit and I need a batt. Thanks

Long post warning:

Summary: I’m a high school senior heading into university, and I’ve been stuck in a 3-year long-distance relationship that’s been really confusing and painful. We dated briefly, but even after breaking up, we stayed “exclusive” without a label. He kept giving me mixed signals, being sweet and emotionally supportive while also talking to other girls, hiding me from people in his life, and saying things that made it seem like he didn’t see a future with me.

Recently, he asked for distance, then admitted he has a crush on another girl and took her to prom, even though he had promised he wouldn’t do that. I feel betrayed, jealous, and like I’ve built my whole life around someone who didn’t treat me the way I deserved. Because of my BPD and a difficult home situation, I feel extremely attached to him and don’t know how to move on. I’ve been having intense emotional distress, including urges to self-harm, and I feel completely lost and overwhelmed. I’m looking for advice or hearing from anyone who’s gone through something similar.

Hi everyone, this is my first post ever on reddit on an account I made many years ago. I believe this is the proper subreddit to post this on since my BPD is something that has held me back from leaving this toxic relationship much sooner, and also that is keeping me from being able to move on.

For context, I am a highschool senior going into university and I met him 3 years ago. We hit it off immediately and although he fell for me first, i fell way harder. I met him at the most vulnerable times of my life, and his words were so sweet and genuine everytime despite us slowly drifting throughout the course of this year. We were long distance and dated for 6 months, until he broke up with me because we were not able to meet as frequently as he would've hoped to. His first promise to me was that he would be with me forever, and for those first 2 years no matter how bad life at home was, I had someone who loved me so much. That time, I was obviously devastated but it was quick to get over because nothing about our dynamic or relationship had changed at all, we just got rid of a label. And we promised to each other to be exclusive and he said he would never want anyone else despite the fact he wouldn't date me, so I was confused as to why he didn't want to just put a label back on it after over 2 years of this nonsense... I found out he had been calling other girls attractive, texting other girls, and more around a year ago. I still stayed because I believed he still only was serious with me because of his sweet talk. He would comment on other girls posts and never on mine. He started avoiding bringing me up to any of his friends or people from school, and when asked about me he would say he was going to cut me off sooner or later (that was months ago) and after confrontation, he said he didn't know why he said that and that he regrets it so much.

A month ago, he stopped having interest in sex. He said he was just going to lay off on it for a while to test his self control so I said that was okay. 3 days ago he finally told me he wanted distance from me but that I'm still his best friend. Now, we have been "best friends" for over two years since he had refused to declare us as a couple. So I asked if he meant platonically or romantically and he gave me a bunch of mixed messages but did say he still is bound to have feelings for me after all we have been through. But today he went to prom with another girl which I have noticed in his following a while ago. I asked if he liked her and he said "idk", and I was so distraught also because he lied to me saying he would never go to prom with another girl especially not a girl he is attracted to. I asked if he was attracted to her and he said "Well, I don't find her ugly" which I guess is reasonable because she is a very pretty girl. He then admitted to having a crush on her. I asked what is it about me that isn't enough, and he assured me saying I was perfect. I was shaking with rage and pure jealousy and out of impulse, I texted her about the things he has done to me and she read it but did not respond. I didn't insult him, but I understand that was invasive but I felt like he deserved it considering 3 years of pure lies and manipulation. This also explains his loss of interest in sex.

Despite so much of the lies, no one else has treated me with as much kindness to me in my moments of crisis. And even if a lot of our relationship was a lie, I don't think that these moments were ever fake. It wasn't fake when he wrote me a card with a drawing, and he held me while I cried after I gave him a handmade present he said he really loved.

I know I shouldn't look on her instagram and see her prom post with him after tonight, but it would kill me not to check and it would also kill me to check as well. I created a perfect image of him inside my head, and I have made my whole life revolve around him and now I feel like I lost my only sense of purpose. I have a poor family situation, and in school I am well known and invited almost everywhere but only are able to make surface level friends in school. My school is very posh and full of shallow assholes which is why it's hard. But I don't even want a friend, I just want him to love me like he used to. The pain is unbearable and I truly have no idea what to even do. I feel extremely suicidal and I had given into an urge to self harm last week because of how downhill our relationship was going. I don't know what to do at all and I am at a loss for solutions, if anyone else can relate, have similar experiences, or advice, I would love to hear some thoughts. Thanks!