Dragona will give him dysphoria
Paco will deport him
Charmingman will make him depressed by forcing him to listen to The Smiths
Usagi will hire a very attractive man and a very attractive woman to make him realize he’s bisexual thus burdening him with the weight of consciously realizing his internalized homophobia
Jodio will set him on fire or something idfk what is he supposed to do give him autism
“just another transfem character”
“JUST ANOTHER TRANSFEM CHARACTER”
RIGHT
BECAUSE WE’RE SOO HISTORICALLY WELL REPRESENTED
even gay men can’t not make shit about themselves good god
Dragona & Mista lowk been a crackship of mine for a while anyways.
Also Mista is secretly a woman, can’t say any more here, email me.
This was DRAGONA’S own memories and fears, and the stand referred to her as “big sis”. To me that feels like pretty explicit confirmation that she is transfem RAHH. Or genderfluid or mahu ofc. But to me, it seems like her desperation to transition to being perceived as a woman as much as possible feels too much in line with the first. I think the theory of “Jodio‘s perception of Dragona is simply inaccurate because he’s young” might be true. I FEEL INCREDIBLY VINDICATED RIGHT NOW.
Around mid-late elementary to mid hs I had a huge tendency to lie for attention, usually in small ways that built up, it was something I REALLY had to unlearn. And now at the big ol age of 21, not only do I have to take off the rose tinted glasses I always put on for my ex, I’m realizing I might’ve been taken advantage in more than a couple ways. So those two facts paired together just makes me feel like the worst person ever for even considering this. I talked a bit about what I think was assault with my therapist and he said it wasn’t, but my friends say it was, so that also confuses me?? But honestly no matter what I believe here I feel like I’m lying to myself either way :/ Maybe this is penance for having lied so much in my life idk
TLDR: There were times in which I was intoxicated and they weren’t during sex. The idea is slightly appealing to me- me being the only one intoxicated- but I cannot remember if I consented it to before getting drunk and / or high. And there were also times in which we slept with other people together, and I was very new to drugs, while mostly everyone else wasn’t. I also realize during a lot of our relationship I would flinch a lot. I worry this is actually not assault and it’s just my OCD talking, or my mind trying to find a way to compartmentalize their morality to move on.
My ex and I broke up a few months ago, and maybe I’m just still reeling from what was my first serious relationship, but when I look back, there were certain habits of theirs that make me question things. The only person I’ve really fully opened up to about it is my therapist. He says that while it was not a great relationship, what happened wasn’t abusive, nor assault. But I just cannot get these thoughts out of my head. I feel like trying vent to anyone about this is too much of a burden for one reason or another, however.
I’ll start this off by saying I don’t want to assume the worst but I just cannot get these thoughts out of my head. I know I have OCD so it’s very possible it’s just a likely paranoia in regards to that. Outside of everything that was wrong about our relationship, I do feel like they’re a good person which is why I’m struggling with this even more. Other people say that they were worse than I realized, but I don’t know. I’m especially hung up on it all because when we initially started dating, they identified fully as asexual, but eventually started leaning into demisexuality, so how could someone so sex-wary do something like this, yk? Especially because they always claimed to have a strong, moral code.
Like the TLDR said, there were times in which I was the only one intoxicated during sex, and times we fooled around with other people while I was still VERY new to drugs (around people who weren’t). The latter was during last summer, and I worry looking back, that even after most of the effects of any given session wore off, that because of how much I was doing, I wasn’t all the way there. Those people we slept were with my ex’s friends initially, and remained their friends after that situation ended (long story, communication issues, basically). I felt very used from all that, and my ex never really fully validated my hurt feelings, if I’m being honest. I guess that was kind of a bad sign, but I could understand them being caught in the middle.
In general, I would say their worst habit was being selfish without realizing. I don’t think I ever felt pressured to have sex with them, especially given the demisexual part. But I can’t get past how gross I felt when we did have sex while I was the only one inintoxicated. And because of how murky those times were in my mind, given my drunken state, I can’t remember how much I consented before. All I remember is that during and after, I would feel very gross. Even showering didn’t make me feel good. It’s possible it’s just my own fault for not fully grasping what we were doing, I don’t know. I don’t want to shift blame. These are just my thoughts, my therapist seem very stern with what I was saying, and was telling me to move on, that I “now know” what to do and what not to.
But despite our issues, I wanna say that they are a kind and understanding person. I have a lot of mental health issues and they were typically very very patient with me, and always cared to indulge in my interests, so forth. I was nowhere near perfect either, of course, this is just about the ways in which I was possibly hurt. That’s why I’m struggling with this, I know people are complex, but yeah. Simultaneously, there were also times- mainly near the end of our relationship- where I would flinch around them a lot. I think that may be my own fault, I don’t know.
They had a tendency to snap sometimes when things didn’t go their way. I understand what neurodivergencies and mental health issues of theirs would cause that, but yeah. It was actually worse around the middle of our relationship because they would break down and cry a lot almost every day after getting home from school/work. It took a while for them to realize that the stresses I had were equal to theirs because I often had to ignore my own issues to comfort them at some points.
Especially after an incident where they threw their phone after an argument (albeit not at me but still) that jumpiness I had around them never really left. I can recall a random memory where we had started escalating into a small argument, which had become clockwork at that point, and I froze up really badly and they were starting to get mad again, but then calmed down realizing they were the cause of that. So yeah, I don’t know. Every day I bounce back on what I feel was real or who was to blame so it’s kind of driving me up the wall LMAO.
Sometimes I think maybe it’s a middle ground, where some of the ways in which I worry I was hurt were in fact true, but it wasn’t necessarily their fault fully, like it was just a lack of communication on my part or something. I always strive to be as accountable as possible, whether for myself or others. I try to be emotionally, mature, but that’s life ig.
I became a JoJo‘s fan in 2022 and in the past four years, the level of infatuation I have over her has not dwindled. She just has such a memorable design, I think her fight is stupid entertaining and her personality is a little unique by JoJo villain standards (i.e usually they are sexy and fashionable simply by virtue of the series, but she does it intentionally). Love me a villainous woman, it’s a shame that she was just a one off character, >!I screamed at her appearance in Crazy Demonic Heartbreak.!< She’s just one of those characters that has absolutely no reason to be so enthralling to me, but is. And yeah, I like her boobs too, I am a lesbian, so
And the thing is I’VE HAD SEX BEFORE LMFAO, even with people who have understood and respected my identity (a small amount, but still). It’s just idk when my confidence will come back, and really TBH, I find it hard to believe that many people would find me attractive in the first place 😭 esp being a trans lesbian who doesn’t even slightly pass rn, (I think I look… fine tho? Idk. I look queer still at least) it makes my dating pool that much more specific, I just ahhh. Having my body on display like that is something I used to have a lot less issue with, even when it was with more casual stuff. But now I’m just absolutely all over the place, especially bc I’d love to explore with trans and cis women alike, and those are two completely different levels of expectations (as well as non-binary people, they’re always on the table; there’s just different expectations and vibes for sleeping with different kinds of people, I guess)
This ain’t really a big deal, but ever since learning about the Chicano/a movement last year in college, I’ve found it really fascinating. It’s such a touching way for Mexican-Americans to mix both sides of their identities, ethnically and politically, into something new. As I’m sure a lot of people can relate to, being mixed probably makes you feel like too much and too little for either side of your lineage. It’s not a problem that Chicano is specifically a Mexican-American movement- it’s beautiful for that- but I do wish sometimes there was stuff like that for mixed Latinos of other descents as well. As a mixed Guatemalan, representation is already scarce to come by. Outside of my family, I think I’ve only ever met maybe one or two other Guatemalans IRL. Be the change you want to see I guess, but yeah. It ain’t that big of a deal, but it would just be cool. It would help me feel more connected to my inner-self, I suppose.