u/vegetablization

He (26) recently went through a messy divorce and was talking to me (21) about how the hardest part about it has been difficulty in managing his sexual desires. He said that once a man experiences intimacy with a woman, it’s really hard to live without it, and he’s struggling.

After a few hours, he asks questions about my sister (17). What she’s studying, how old is she, is she religious, how is her character. I answered, then he was trying to convince me to get her married asap and not to go to university. I asked him “are you vetting her for marriage or something” and he straight up said yes. Honestly I felt sick, we were eating and I was almost going to vomit.

I know its nothing wrong but the way the conversation went previously, felt like he wants to get married to anyone asap to use her for relief. He’s older than me, very very knowledgable in deen, so I really looked up to him. I told him some excuse and that she’s not marrying anytime soon. Then I told him jokingly “don’t say that to anyone else or else they’ll punch you” but in reality I just wanted to get away from him asap.

Was what he did actually weird or is something wrong with me? I need another perspective.

By salafism I mean the things modern salafis in the west tend to focus on like:

- Rigour seeking of knowledge of shariah

- Beautifying quran recitation in mosques

- Attracting the youth

- Removing certain things associated with ‘goofy sufis’

- Quoting things directly from quran and sunnah rather than paraphrasing

I just feel like they’re doing a really good job of making the deen attractive, removing old-school methods and traditions. Like don’t get me wrong I’m grateful for what the uncles in the masjids have done for us but cmon. Doing the same khutba over and over again in arabic when no one understands it? Of course all mosques are different but we could use some of the salafi tactics that work.

By salafism I mean the things modern salafis in the west tend to focus on like:

- Rigour seeking of knowledge of shariah

- Beautifying quran recitation in mosques

- Attracting the youth

- Removing certain things associated with ‘goofy sufis’

- Quoting things directly from quran and sunnah rather than paraphrasing

I just feel like they’re doing a really good job of making the deen attractive, removing old-school methods and traditions. Like don’t get me wrong I’m grateful for what the uncles in the masjids have done for us but cmon. Doing the same khutba over and over again in arabic when no one understands it? Of course all mosques are different but we could use some of the salafi tactics that work.

If I was a traditional woman (the type that you’d get 200 years ago), I’d look at how worth it it would be to serve a husband, e.g. cooking, ironing, cleaning for him. Is he someone worth serving? Or is he a complete waste of a human?

If he is a man of purpose, my life would have purpose as I would live vicariously through his mission. The higher and greater his mission is, the more likely I’d want to serve him.

Why would I serve a bum who wastes time, does jack all with his life, and lives with no purpose? What fulfilment can I possibly derive from this relationship?

Be the man you’d want your husband to be if you were a woman.

He was busy speaking with someone, then he turned to me, smiling. I shook my hands with him, then I pulled it to kiss it. However, he resisted and didn’t let me.

I’ve seen a couple awliya in dreams but never him. I’m glad I met him as I was too young to meet him in real life. Any thoughts?

We have exams where they give us a case for 10 mins, then they ask us questions about the case for 10 mins. I got 45%, just 4 marks off.

What do I do with my life? I’ve never failed an exam before. Ever. The resits are in a months time. Any advice? I have no one to tell cause I’m super embarrassed. I just took a cold shower and blasted Andrew Tate motivation videos.

So throughout dental school I hadn't taken any notes or attended any lectures. Only thing I did was attend clinics and cram 1 month before exams using anki flashcards from older years, so I would learn all content from them.

Now I'm 4th year, passed everything so far. But all the knowledge seems scattered everywhere. I tried memorising all the guidelines but it was also too all over the place and confusing. I wish there was 1 big book called "Dental School" with everything inside it. Any advice for my situation? At this rate I'm gonna graduate without knowing the difference between MTA and calcium hydroxide.