u/veppev

Healing for around 15 months now, like 85% healed, and I swear that my healing accelerated once I got into no compromise daily cardio. Yes I’m also doing physical therapy, so that helps, but I swear that the daily cardio helps immensely and my theory is that it pumps blood and allows for there to be enough blood supplied to the costochondral joint to actually heal?

I just started an internship with a small company, and they know I don’t really have any experience, but as I’m sitting down to try to sort my first tasks and learning all about the company databases/platforms I can’t help but get severely anxious because it’s so much information and I feel like I don’t understand anything or know how to even do anything. I couldn’t sleep last night and had nightmares. I have a friend at the company who got me there and reassures me it’s okay to be confused and not know anything since she started that way too, but I am just so scared and I know I should be patient but I just can’t calm down. Is this normal for an intern or is this a sign I’m in the wrong place?

For some more context, I told them I have good Excel experience but it feels like I overestimated it. What I thought was enough experience from some undergrad research data sorting turned out to not be enough. My degree is math, so I am good with numbers and logic but don’t have any real data skills. I am just so worried and feel awful.

I’ve been in recovery since January and I’m doing/feeling the best I’ve ever done, however, lately it feels like the chest pressure feeling is back and stronger than ever.
I’m mostly past having any aches or pain for 99% of the time and am active, but my chest feels like it’s crushing me when I’m trying to sleep and causes me to wake up in the middle of the night a lot. Then in the morning I’m exhausted and also terrified to get out of bed because the chest pressure feeling is also strongest in the morning when I start moving around to get going with my day. It does sometimes hit during the day if I’m sitting too. This has been on and off for a while and has been even worse before, but the last week has just been getting to me. I don’t work a conventional 9-5 so I don’t have to be up and go to work at the same early time everyday. I still have shit to do, but because there’s no urgent time to be anywhere, I just lay in bed for super long to put off the inevitable feeling that comes in my chest when I get up. It’s been affecting my mood and productivity. And it doesn’t even happen everyday, but the days it does happen have traumatized me to this point. Honestly not looking for advice as much as just sharing and seeing if anyone relates.

I want to get a tattoo of the Aphex Twin lambda, that album means so much to me. All my current tattoos are in hidden spots due to prior fear of judgment from my father. I have secret tattoos on my hips and by my breasts. But I no longer fear that judgment, as my father did end up seeing one of my tattoos, and other than some snide remarks in the moment, he never brought it up again, and I moved out, so I'm safe to proceed lol.

But with this tattoo, I want it in a spot that's visible when I please, but can remain discreet and still easily hidden if necessary, for other family and professional commitments. For that reason, I was thinking behind the ear would be a great spot since I can always let my hair down or wear it up.

So I have a few questions: how are behind-the-ear tattoos perceived? I know this is a lame question and it's lame to care so much about what others think, but I'm afraid that it can come off as some hidden meaning, since it's such an intimate location.

My other question is, does anyone have experience with a behind-the-ear tattoo? What do you think of it? How was your experience? Is regret common with this placement? It does kind of freak me out to have something so close to my face, not gonna lie.

And finally, any other spot recommendations that I might regret less, like my wrist or inside arm?

I hope this post doesn't come off as insecure or negative. I just have OCD and overthink the hell out of everything, even if it's something I truly want, so I rely on the opinions of others a lot to ground me.