u/vr8p

تخرجت قبل اربع اشهر و انصدمت شوي بواقع سوق العمل بعد التخرج لاحظت ان اغلب الوظائف المتاحة من شروطها خبرات طويلة او شهادة بكالوريوس هذا الشي يخليني احيانا احس بإحباط وتخوف من المستقبل وقد ايش صعب كيف قدرتو تتجاوزون هذه المرحلة وتلاقون فرص مناسبة ؟ من فتره شغاله على نفسي واخذ دورات واقدم على وظائف ويجي رفض بس مازلت اقدم واضبط السي في واحدثه كل بعد فتره

My own family.

It's not necessarily that they don't love me, or that there was one specific event that caused this feeling. There have been different situations and moments over the years that, individually, might not seem like a big deal, but somehow they accumulated and left me with this persistent feeling that I don't truly belong in my own family.

I can be surrounded by my family and still feel strangely alone, disconnected, or like I'm somehow an outsider looking in. Sometimes I wonder if it's because I've changed as a person, or because certain things that happened over the years slowly created an emotional distance between us.

The hardest part is that I don't always know what exactly I'm grieving. It's almost like mourning a sense of belonging that I feel I was supposed to have naturally with my family, but somehow never fully did.

Sometimes the feeling becomes heavy, bitter, and exhausting. It makes me wonder whether something is fundamentally wrong with me, whether I'm simply different from the people around me, or whether this is something that can happen when years of small experiences accumulate without ever being properly addressed.

Why does this happen? Can someone genuinely feel like an outsider in their own family because of accumulated experiences rather than one major event? Does this feeling ever truly go away, or do you eventually learn to live with it and find a sense of belonging somewhere else?

For anyone who has experienced something similar, what helped you deal with that painful feeling? Did it eventually get lighter, or did you have to build your own sense of belonging outside your family?

AI disclosure: I used ChatGPT to help me put my thoughts into words and substantially improve the structure and wording of this post. The experiences, feelings, and questions described are entirely my own.