u/wanderingtraveller99

Hey everyone, I am planning a solo trip to Penang later this year. I have already made a list of the places I intend to visit, but would like some help refining my overall itinerary. I will greatly appreciate if you guys could answer the following questions:

1. I really like souvenir/craft shopping spots like Loka Made and Hin Bus Depot. Other than that, I have also shortlisted Heritage House 25, Mano Plus Select Store, P.66, Journal Georgetown. Are there any more must-visit souvenir/craft shops or places?

2. I am planning to combine a visit to Penang Hill with the Kek Lok Si Temple, but am expecting to be done with both places by early afternoon. Are there any good food spots or other attractions/activities to do in the Air Itam / Farlim area, or do people typically return to Georgetown after these spots?

3. I've heard that Toh Soon Cafe can be quite crowded with mediocre food. Are there any other coffee shops / kopitiams worth checking out?

4. The lilypad pond appears to be a highlight of the Botanical Garden, but I read that the pond was drained for maintenance work previously. Has it been filled again? If not, is there an expected timeline for maintenance to be completed?

5. I plan to check out Frog Hill in Butterworth. What else is there to do and eat in Butterworth? Also, is it worth visiting Kampung Agong solo? I get the impression that it's mostly for aesthetic photos

6. Other than the beaches, are there any 'scenic views' to be expected DURING the hike through Penang National Park?

7. What is there to do in Batu Ferringhi if I plan to be there around sunset but don't want to be in those beachside restaurants with the crowd? Is it difficult to get taxis between Batu Ferringhi and Georgetown?

8. Please share your personal favourite spot(s) for CKT, CKK, laksa, cendol!!!

9. Finally, any other general tips or advice?

Thank you all very much 😄

With more and more friends around me starting to get engaged, married, or plan for a BTO, I've been paying more attention than usual to my prospects at finding a romantic partner, and wanted to know what realistic options I can turn to at this point. I know that I shouldn't be pressured by my peers' progress if I'm chasing something entirely different, but I, too, want to settle down and get married someday.

A little about myself: I'm Chinese, in my mid-20s, went through the 'standard' Singaporean route - finished JC, did NS, graduated from university, and now hold a fairly decent job making mid 5k monthly. I've never had a girlfriend, and only dated one girl in my life. We met for about 4-5 times before splitting on good terms.

I grew up short (lower end of 160s, unfortunately never grew taller) and chubby, and could probably count the number of female classmates with whom I had conversations going beyond school work with just my two hands. By virtue of that, I never experienced any romantic encounters until I was a young adult. Till now, I struggle when it comes to interacting with women, particularly those I'm interested in. To clarify, I don't completely shut down or blabber something inappropriate, but iI struggle to bring out humour and/or charisma (assuming I had any to begin with) when just starting to know someone.

As embarassing as it sounds, I've been on dating apps for years - Tinder, OkCupid, Hinge, Bumble, Coffee Meets Bagel, the whole gamut. I never had much success, aside from that one girl I dated. I used to swipe on these apps casually, but have started putting in a lot more effort into how I use them these days. I sought feedback for my photos and prompts, actively try my best to send a thoughtful comment/question together with my like, and state my intentions clearly in my profile. Still, I'm getting no matches. Zero. Nada. Zilch. Fine, maybe I get the occasional one or two, but they usually turn out to be either profiles filled with photos of themselves heavily and obviously edited by AI, or matches that don't respond. To say that dating apps have been a waste of time would be an understatement, for they have simply chipped away at my self-worth. I am fully aware that dating apps naturally favour those blessed with good looks, but for a very shy introvert like myself, they seem to be my best option at present, and I am unfortunately stuck with them.

I have also considered attending singles' mixers that I often see being marketed on Instagram and TikTok. Meeting someone organically would be ideal, but these events seem to be essentially dating apps playing out in the real, physical world. I've read reviews about how attractive people are swarmed during these mixers, leaving the rest standing around awkwardly. I also picture myself backing up into a corner just to observe, since it would be such an unfamiliar and uncomfortable social setting for me.

Over the past year, I have strived to improve my physical appearance. I started watching my diet, exercising 5-6 times weekly, spent hundreds on a dermatologist, and experimented with haircuts. I lost almost 10 kg in a year, I'm now in my best-ever physical shape, my skin has cleared up a fair bit, and I think I look minimally presentable. If I was a 2 or 3 during my teenage years, I would think I qualify as a 4 or 4.5 now (5 if my barber does a solid job).

Yet, I can't seem to get the thought that I would be ridiculed for approaching a woman out of my head. I had thought the same way when my colleagues recently encouraged me to strike up a conversation with a new female colleague. By the way, I know that the saying goes "don't shit where you eat", so the workplace is probably also closed off as an option to me.

So that leaves me wondering... for someone as reserved as me and struggles to approach women in person, yet has no luck with dating apps, where else can I turn to? Do I simply continue waiting for a miracle match on the apps? Do I put dating off my radar, work hard for a few years, then engage a matchmaking agency to pair me with a foreign bride? Call me crazy, but I would love to meet the love of my life in a manner that resembles a scene straight out of a Korean drama - maybe a school romance (but I'm way past that age now) or public transport / cafe encounter (but I don't go out other than to work).

I'd really love to hear from everyone, especially those who were/are in a similar situation as me. What have you tried, what would you recommend, and what would you not? I was told by the girl I dated that I am really good at remembering the small things that people tell me, holding and providing emotional space for deep conversations, and being thoughtful through small gestures. How do I present these better?

Recently, a TikTok video in which a Singaporean lady listed her non-negotiables in a romantic partner went semi-viral and was even shared on a subreddit associated with Singapore.

The TikToker said that her partner has to be someone who:

• Does not smoke / vape, have a history of cheating, or party often
• Is not an alcoholic
• Has an annual salary of at least 70k
• Is attractive to her and minimally 172 cm tall (she is 168 cm herself)

She also said that she was "already all of [those requirements] and more".

There were mixed reactions, with some commenters arguing that she was asking for too much, or that her "type" is impossible to find these days. She responded with a separate video, noting specifically that "no smokers, cheaters, and alcoholics" is the bare minimum. I think that most people would actually agree, and even have the same set of bare minimum requirements.

The salary criteria may be tougher to fulfill, since it is the equivalent of a 5.8k monthly pay. That being said, 5.8k is not an entirely unsurmountable level, especially for those who have worked for a few years. Some jobs, even at the entry level, would pay 70k annually if bonuses are included. Since she implied that she is earning more than 70k annually, it also seems to be a fair requirement. Physical attraction is subjective so we cannot comment much, but I was also surprised that the height requirement was posing a challenge for her, given that the average height of males here is about 173 - 174 cm.

The TikToker expressed difficulty in meeting men on dating apps who fulfill her list of requirements. Yet, given that her non-negotiables are fairly rational and reasonable, as well as the fact that dating apps are teeming with men, this is a very unusual outcome for her.

It has left me wondering whether we subconsciously allow ourselves to only accept standards way higher than our pre-defined "bare minimum". If that is the case, then is there truly a "bare minimum"? Or is it just something that we eventually settle for, when other ideal options run out? Otherwise, if the bare minimum is something we accept, is it something that we are really happy accepting?

What are your thoughts on the TikToker's requirements? I personally meet all of them, but unfortunately fall short (pun unintended) of her height criteria, so I would not say it is unrealistic. I would also love to see some discussion on what your bare minimum standards or non-negotiables in a partner are! More importantly, do share whether you would agree to go on a first date with anyone who fulfills them and satisfies a preliminary vibe check (I know that going beyond the first date is more contingent on chemistry, rather than just the bare minimum stats).