u/westwestwestwww

I (22F) grew up with my grandma, mom, and dad. I often stayed in my grandma's house alongside my parents. My grandma technically also raised me, so she also had a say in my parent's ways in raising me or whatever.

I honestly hated living with them! So much rules that were so unnecessary. But the one thing that I started to really hate them for recently was that they never let me do physical activity growing up. I never learned how to ride a bike without training wheels up until I was 12, all my other friends learned it at the age of 8. I was always a slow runner and it was embarrassing whenever I had to do PE with all my other classmates who were physically active. I never was allowed to do any sports - basketball, volleyball, soccer, and even yoga (not sure if this counts as a sport, but the fact that yoga wasn't even allowed is absolutely ridiculous). I also wasn't allowed to go out on walks or go out under the sun because they didn't want my skin to get dark. Whatever, they had so much rules about physical activity that I never got to be properly active growing up, which means that I never got to implement those healthy active habits since I was younger.

Now in my young adulthood, I struggle in carrying weights, I struggle in running, and I have a hard time doing a lot of things. My posture is terrible. My body is extremely weak. I'm trying to go back to exercising and build a healthy fitness journey, but I find the basics incredibly difficult all because of my upbringing.

I do resent them for many things, but this one extremely infuriates me!

Edit: I have been trying to implement exercise in my life. It's been tough but I'm trying to persevere. I just wanted to vent about my upbringing.

I remember waking up on your mattress at 2 am, and hearing the sound of your breathing and your fan, feeling your arms around me, and the sight of you sleeping with your hair all messy - it was adorable. I remember leaning in to kiss your cheek, not sure why I did it but I just couldn't help it.

I remember waking you up telling you that I have to head back to my own place, with your fluttered eyes and your sleepy voice you told me you'd walk me back. I'd say no, but you'd insist.

7 minutes later, we're both in front of my house. We'd hug and then give each other a kiss. I wonder if you still replay those memories, I certainly still do.

Although our time was temporary, I always, and still cherish you. I never had a boring time with you. I loved everything about you, even your little quirks or at times when you annoyed me.

I miss your kisses, your smell, your everything. Visit me in my dreams because that's the only way I can rewind those moments and experience them again.

Since you, I was able to enjoy life again. I was able to live and breathe and go on my days. Thank you for remininding me and teachhing me how warm and kind love can be. How love should be safe, how love should be unconditional. I don't know if you know but I did love you. I remember me saying it to you freaked you out haha, but I truly did.

Sometimes I get angry at you for ending things with me, but I realized I cannot stay angry at you. How could I? After all you've done for me, all I can do is just sit down and appreciate everything.

I love you. In another life I hope you were the one.

Hey all!

I had a very bad experience with DBT due to my old therapist's behaviour and the way she approached my feelings/issues/trauma felt very invalidating and was extremely harmful. I ended up relapsing a lot but did not tell her because she kept blaming things on me.

In her records, I was put into "remission" which is absolutely untrue because I just hid all my feelings from her lol.

I keep seeing how DBT drastically changed people's lives, particularly those with BPD. I just am so upset that I didn't get the experience I wanted and wasted money and 4 months of my time doing it with the wrong person.

I am currently seeing another therapist, she's not specialized in BPD but does a lot of trauma-informed approach (and it works heavenly!)

I'm trying to better myself. I can manage my negative emotions and all, I'm not entirely impulsive either. I'm not sure if going back to DBT would help me by that much considering the fact that I've already have skills like mindfulness and distress tolerance as well as emotion regulation. My relationships with people are good, I can take a step back and regulate myself if conflicts arise and communicate well. I just deal with a lot of overthinking, a teeny bit of fear of abandonment (I don't act on it) and I am feeling depressed and empty and was wondering if going back to DBT could tackle that as well?

Thanks for reading y'all. Take care.

What the title says. Everytime I open up social media, I feel ten times worse. I take everything so personally. Seeing a friend post a story of them going out with someone else and not you? They must hate me. Posting something and a friend not liking/commenting? They probably hate me. Seeing someone achieve something you always wanted? I'm happy for them, but why couldn't that be me?

Don't get me started with texting and everything. Sending them a text only for them to not reply despite them being online for hours, then they choose to post something, this is such a big trigger for me.

I know maybe it's best I should delete social media, and maybe after I write this I'll delete them, but right now I just feel like sharing my thoughts.

i (F) have a good friend (M) who is in a toxic relationship. i don't think he tells anyone about his toxic girlfriend except me.

his gf doesn't allow him to have his own me time, do his hobbies, hang with his friends, wouldn't even allow him to spend time with his own parents.

the girlfriend does not like me because she has insecurities and jealousy issues, it also probs stems from the fact that i'm a girl. i do not like my friend romantically, nor have i ever had romantic history with him, we never flirted or did anything. despite her behaviour, i never once talked shit about her or anything.

one day i woke up to a phone call from him. i picked up but it was his gf speaking, telling me to get the fuck out and that i'm a bitch, and whatever happens it is all my fault. i was confused but figured they had a fight. i had a bunch of errands to do so i chose to distract myself.

i got a message from him like 7 hours later asking if we could meet now, i only opened the message after 30 minutes, so i said we could meet in 15 minutes. he left me on read afterwards.

a day later, he blocked my number and unfollowed me on instagram. i'm pretty hurt, it's not fun waking up to someone insulting you and not knowing what happened, and then suddenly i lost a friend.

i understand it's probably their way of setting boundaries, but it sucks because literally a week ago he said he wanted to hang out with me. he kept saying how he was grateful to have a friend like me and he'll always have my back no matter what.