Quitting Church Choir because I‘m the only Guy (beyond husband of director)
Hello,sorry as it’s my first time posting here and honestly,getting back to choir after Highschool lol (I’m 23M and was in choir for 7th-11th grade)
I actually funnily enough have the same director as my junior high as she lives in the area and directs for my church,but they started recently so I went to practice last week to see what’s up. I didn’t join in as I kinda just wanted to see what it was like first,and I noticed that there is literally only 1 middle aged guy and about 20 millennial and older woman there (not anybody my age or I would really see at my college as a student).Apparently though a good bit of them are reoccurring from other church choirs and such so they all read sheet music rather well and know the material already etc,but I am literally just starting out again basically with almost 0 memory of sheet music (I usually play guitar) and haven’t even been to church for a couple years or so
They sounded good in the practice session and after they finished I went up and just greeted my old director as I hadn’t seen her in a while and to ask her about practice,she asked why I just was sitting down outside mainly just listening and looking in and I just said I came late initially and didn’t want to interrupt (which was a lie to be fair,in church lol) but a few people over heard our talk and called me out on it like it was a big deal lol
Well I just said that it is scary because I am the only other guy there and no one else is my age even either out of like 20 people,but she reassured me it would get better and sent me a link to join the groupchat and such (She also told me that the guy there was just her husband anyway,so it kinda made me feel even worst)
Now I’m not sexist and I have female friends at school,work,wherever but I just have had this happen before in Highschool (which is also partly why I left) because while my voice is pretty flexible with tenor and soprano,that I usually get those sort of parts,but she was discussing more of a tenor/bass part as "we need bases really bad" she said,and I just don’t like being put into that sort of box just because I am a guy,and I wanted to do this more casually anyway as it was just my old director and a church choir I thought 😭
Sorry for kinda dumb story,but point is that practice was tonight and I didn’t go just because I felt really anxious about going and even worst because I don’t even believe it either at my church and I feel almost like some people will also judge me for that
I know this is all sort of "what could happen stuff" and I probably could still join as it’s only the 3rd practice,but I feel as tho if I’m going to be the only actual guy to stay for the whole thing then maybe it’s better just being a more older woman’s choir thing for people who are pretty serious about it and maybe this one is not for me
Just seeing if anyone else has even been there before or any input on if I’m being way too much in my head about this and should just try and see where it goes despite my fears
Edit:thanks everyone for the comments and support and advice,I really appreciate it and won’t let this be the end of my choir choir and see what kind of benefit I can still bring to it or even invite a few men too if I can and explore some other groups too :)