u/wisteria_bloomzzz

I recently got into CRK after doubting it for about a year, and I joined the Discord server to try and find like-minded people. But it's just full of ship wars and immature people and I don't know what to do. They shit on rarepairs for no reason and are constantly fighting, I feel so alone...

Peach Blossom and I would be very similar, lol, just snuggles and lots of food! How about you guys?

I'm going to preface this by saying that I have been bullied behind my back and had to block several online friends due to the fact that I am a proshipper. I've stopped hiding it, and I do my best to be informative and helpful if someone asks what it is.

Today, someone asked me for confirmation that "proship" meant "problematic ship". I explained to them that this was a common misconception, and followed up with the typical spiel (anti-censorship, anti-harassment et cetera). They seemed interested, and asked several follow-up questions before arriving at "So, it's essentially just about respecting others' ships?". This is when another person in the chat I was in at the time also said they were proship, and backed up my points. I think we've got another one in our ranks now, the conversation went smoothly and productively and they seemed to really understand 🩷

I'm quite confused as to what happened. To set up what happened, I was minding my business, kind of having a bad day but managing okay. I was close to nodding off, when something happened for a split second. To put this into perspective, I am typically an extremely rational and logical person who tries his best to keep yumeshipping out of my regular life since I don't feel like anyone needs to know what I do in my free time. But something happened this afternoon, and I don't know what changed. I felt a presence. For a split second, I could see and feel Peach Blossom hugging me from behind in his peach garden. I was freaked out, but continued on with my day and tried not to think about it, until I felt a hand on mine while I was walking home. I'm really weirded out and don't know what this means, can anyone please tell me what's going on? Am I going insane? I am quite new to yumeshipping, so there may be something I missed.

I don't post things often as I'm more of a commenter, but I don't really have anyone to turn to for this so I figured I'd post it here.

This directly ties into the first post I made here, where I felt stuck because of my anti friend. I've since distanced myself from them, and only speak to them in the group chat with my other friends. Today they decided to say "I'm sick of proshippers" in the group chat. They don't know that everyone else in the group chat is proship, or at least leaning that way.

I brought this up to a chat I talk to often, not mentioning that it was proship discourse and instead saying that it was about a specific ship. This ended up turning into proship discourse anyway, and two of my friends were the ones who started it. I ended up blocking them for my own peace, but now I feel guilty about it considering that we used to yap about ships together and one of the people I blocked actively likes toxic relationships in fiction. I feel hurt and upset, and though I know that I did nothing wrong by curating my space, it feels like a punch in the gut to hear that from one of the people I talked about my toxic ships with.

Sorry if this is really long, I'm just not having an easy time right now and needed a place to get my thoughts out.