u/witchwiththecats

I'm trying to use cleaner ingredient products and Native shampoo scores really well, so I got some, which is great. EXCEPT THEY DON'T FUCKING OPEN.

I watched tutorials. I used pliers. I did all the things people suggest for almost an hour, and I'm just still here, naked and screaming outside my shower at the bottle that refuses to open. How have people been complaining for over a year about their pumps and STILL Native has done nothing to fix it?

Anyway I'm returning it. Here's a photo of the mangled bottle from my attempts with pliers to untwist this shit.

I just don't understand how things have gotten this bad. Men don't seem willing or able to meet the most bare minimum of expectations and it's completely baffling to me.

I'm dating men in their late twenties to mid thirties. In general, I'm a pretty independent 30yo woman, and a pretty low maintenance person to be with. Not because I'm trying to be low maintenance, I just enjoy my alone time and have a life outside of whatever guy I'm seeing, so I don't feel like I need as much time/attention as some might (which it is totally okay if you do need more!). The very basic things I expect from a partner, and communicate clearly that I need from them, are:

• To hear from them at least once a day (either a thoughtful text, a voice note or a phone call. Up to them which one, I'm not picky).

• To see them face-to-face at least once a week. Happy to see them more often but once a week is what I need at least to feel connected.

• To confirm plans the night before meeting up so that I can plan my day.

• To be honest with me.

• To share the conversation (not interrupting each other, both take turns asking questions and sharing things, etc.).

Y'all.... you'd think I was asking these men to fart the national anthem with how much difficulty they express meeting these standards. Holy fucking shit.

It's not like I'm picking guys who are initially crappy and staying with them either - I voice when my needs aren't being met and leave when there is no change. They meet the expectations for a few weeks to a few months, then without fail, suddenly it's "too hard" to text back once a day. They're "too busy" to see me once a week. But they shout from the rooftops how much they like me and want to be with me, kick up a fuss when I say I won't stay if my needs aren't being met, and get depressed when I do choose to leave after no change occurs on their part.

I don't have a type of man that I date, so it isn't a case of me picking the same kind of guy every time and getting the same result. It doesn't seem to matter what guy I give a chance to, they all seem to eventually shit the bed in this way. I hear similar things from other women too and I just don't understand how men have become accustomed to thinking they can offer absolutely nothing to a woman they like and still expect her to want to be with him.

How has THIS become the norm??

Pink cupcake with gold sprinkles from the grocery store.

EDIT: This was meant to just be a little rant in the girly corner of reddit and it's blown up way beyond that and is showing up in random people's feeds now. It wasn't meant to explode like this. The subreddit is set up that if you aren't a member of the subreddit, your post won't go through the filtration system and will be auto-deleted, just fyi before you spend time typing out a post. Also please don't DM me with the intention of trying to pick me up - I've received messages from men who are just sharing their two cents in a respectful way which is okay, but I've also received other messages that aren't that and I'm not interested in online dating - thank you!

Also, OBVIOUSLY not ALL men are like this. I would hope anyone with half a brain cell can assume that to be true without me explicitly stating it in my post. If you don't fit the description of man I'm referring to, then you don't need to be offended because this obviously doesn't apply to you and congrats on not being part of the unfortunately large population of men who do suck at dating.