So my partner (27M) and I (29F) have a roommate (32M) living with us. He’s not on the lease, and didn’t move in to our apartment when we moved in. He had reached out to me asking if we knew anyone with a spare bedroom he could rent temporarily cuz he was getting kicked out of his place and my partner and I had a spare bedroom we were gonna use for our son, but our son ended up just sleeping in the room with us due to my anxiety.

We had him move in for $700 initially, and charged $500 a month. We didn’t require him to pay electric, water, WiFi, or trash because we were just trying to help a friend get on his feet. That was until our electric doubled in price and we asked him for $70 (it went from $150 to $300 but we still wanted to be helpful and fair).

When he moved in we told him our lease was up June 1st. He said that was perfect cuz he would finish school by then and have a new place set up. At the end of April I reminded him our lease was up in June. He said that was fine. Last weekend I saw him make a post asking for a room to rent cuz he didn’t want to be homeless living out of his car.

My partner and I had found another 2 bedroom duplex down the street and were about to sign the lease for it. My partner is a kind person and had the idea of letting our roommate move with us and have an extra 3 months to find a place but not stay because our son is old enough to sleep in his own room now but we don’t mind having him in our room for an extra few months. He brought this idea up with roomie and roomie agreed. We told him we were gonna need the $500 before we moved so could put it towards the deposit. And that we would charge him $350 a month just for water, electric, WiFi, trash, and storage space

I will say I was initially against this idea because of how much electricity he uses, and his living habits (using an ungodly amount of toilet paper, smoking pot in the bedroom, washing multiple loads of laundry a day, everyday, blasting music at 2 am knowing I had to be up at 4, constantly clogging the toilet and not fixing it, constantly clogging our shower, getting upset when our WiFi was too slow, leaving the windows open while the ac was on, etc)

Yesterday my roommate messaged my partner saying that he’s not giving us the $500 until he sees the lease, we send a copy of it to his dad, and we sign a lease with him stating that he can reside with us until he moves out or our lease ends (we’re signing a 15 month lease). Obviously this concerned us because we told him we were only trying to give him extra time to move and we don’t want to be put into a legal situation where he won’t move out of our home when it’s time too

I had messaged roommate last night and said “hey this isn’t you moving in with us, this was us trying to give you extra time to find a stable housing situation so you didn’t live out your car during the summer. The $500 wasn’t a deposit fee for you to move in with us, that was your last months of rent we were just going to put it towards our own deposit for the place, we were actually expecting you to not even unpack your belongings while there because we would’ve expected you to be actively searching for a place. Because of the drama being caused over this I’m no longer comfortable with you moving with us, as it feels you’re trying to take advantage of my partners kindness”. He has both refused to respond to us telling him that this wasn’t going to be a permanent solution and never was going to be a permanent solution from the beginning. If it was we would’ve had him split all the living costs equally.

He won’t pay his last months, he won’t respond to us, and we honestly don’t know what to do now and we’re worried that when we move out on the 29th he’s not going to be ready to leave and it’ll cause us issues with our previous landlord.

Any advice on how to handle this?

TL;DR

Our current lease is ending and we gave roomie plenty of time to find a place to move too and he didn’t so he was offered an extra 3 months to find a place but not move in fully with us at the new place. He then sent a long message asking for our new lease agreement and having us sign one with him stating he could live there until the lease ended and refuses to pay his last months rent with us unless we sign it.

Edit:

My partner and I go to work very early mornings (I leave at 4:30 am and he leaves at 7 am), with my partner dropping our son off at daycare. We get home usually around 4-5 pm. The instances of BRM smoking inside has been maybe once every other week to 2 weeks for the last 3 months and he’s only been here for 4 months. Even then as soon as we smell it we open the windows and take the baby outside so he’s not around the smell and my partner has always said something about it to BRM. Hopefully this can ease off the parent shaming a bit, and being treated like I just willingly leave my son in a smoke filled house all day

Our son can also sleep thru anything (it’s a gift tbh), I however am a very light sleeper so the music at night doesn’t wake the baby up, or even my partner, just me.

So my partner (27M) and I (29F) have a roommate (32M) living with us. He’s not on the lease, and didn’t move in to our apartment when we moved in. He had reached out to me asking if we knew anyone with a spare bedroom he could rent temporarily cuz he was getting kicked out of his place and my partner and I had a spare bedroom we were gonna use for our son, but our son ended up just sleeping in the room with us due to my anxiety.

We had him move in for $700 initially, and charged $500 a month. We didn’t require him to pay electric, water, WiFi, or trash because we were just trying to help a friend get on his feet. That was until our electric doubled in price and we asked him for $70 (it went from $150 to $300 but we still wanted to be helpful and fair).

When he moved in we told him our lease was up June 1st. He said that was perfect cuz he would finish school by then and have a new place set up. At the end of April I reminded him our lease was up in June. He said that was fine. Last weekend I saw him make a post asking for a room to rent cuz he didn’t want to be homeless living out of his car.

My partner and I had found another 2 bedroom duplex down the street and were about to sign the lease for it. My partner is a kind person and had the idea of letting our roommate move with us and have an extra 3 months to find a place but not stay because our son is old enough to sleep in his own room now but we don’t mind having him in our room for an extra few months. He brought this idea up with roomie and roomie agreed. We told him we were gonna need the $500 before we moved so could put it towards the deposit. And that we would charge him $350 a month just for water, electric, WiFi, trash, and storage space.

Yesterday my roommate messaged my partner saying that he’s not giving us the $500 until he sees the lease, we send a copy of it to his dad, and we sign a lease with him stating that he can reside with us until he moves out or our lease ends (we’re signing a 15 month lease). Obviously this concerned us because we told him we were only trying to give him extra time to move and we don’t want to be put into a legal situation where he won’t move out of our home when it’s time too

I had messaged roommate last night and said “hey this isn’t you moving in with us, this was us trying to give you extra time to find a stable housing situation so you didn’t live out your car during the summer. The $500 wasn’t a deposit fee that was your last months of rent we were just going to put it towards our own deposit for the place, we were actually expecting you to not even unpack your belongings while there because we would’ve expected you to be actively searching for a place”. He has both refused to respond to us telling him that this wasn’t going to be a permanent solution and never was going to be a permanent solution from the beginning. If it was we would’ve had him split all the living costs equally.

He won’t pay his last months, he won’t respond to us, and we honestly don’t know what to do now and we’re worried that when we move out on the 29th he’s not going to be ready to leave and it’ll cause us issues with our previous landlord.

Any advice on how to handle this?

Hello Reddit, I (29F) am gonna start with I never actually believed that flat earthers were a real thing. I always thought it was some stupid internet gag. Me and my friend group would always make the joke saying that “oh the earth is flat cuz the ocean isn’t carbonated”. It was just like a stupid thing we did trying to get people into our “flat earth cult” but it was always just a joke. Well recently we’ve had a new addition to the friend group (32M who joined our group about 5 mo ago) and at first everything was normal right? And then we pulled the joke out thinking they’d get a good laugh out of it.

They didn’t, they actually got super offended and said “well it is flat?” And everyone kinda was like “…oh”. Cue me, someone who enjoys getting into internet debates as a past time, who started presenting information disputing the whole flat earth theory and laughing it off like “there’s no actual way you believe this”.

They do. Full heartedly. Believe in the STUPIDEST conspiracy theory to have ever existed. They tried disputing me back, with things like “oh well you don’t know” WE DO KNOW. “Oh prove it” WE HAVE. I even told them that flat earthers themselves have proved it wrong. They got upset and said to not mock their beliefs. I said that where I’m happy they don’t let facts sway their opinions, it’s not a belief. If you full heartedly believe in something that has been factually proven false, it’s a delusion.

They said that I’m not a psychologist (like I need a degree to know what the definition of delusional is??) and that I should just accept their beliefs as true. I said they were an idiot, point blank.

Some important information to add, this didn’t happen in person. We were all in a discord call playing a game together at the time (we do all know each other in person tho). Ik I portrayed myself a bit rough, but when it started I was respectful about it and did provide sources thinking they could’ve been gullible and fallen to internet mumbo jumbo. I was trying to be educational. There were maybe 5-6 of us talking, a couple of friends also backed me up and provided their own sources. I didn’t start getting frustrated and annoyed until they got frustrated and kept telling me I was wrong.

After it was said and done, our friend group is kinda split down the middle, with some saying that I could’ve restrained myself and left when the situation started getting heated, and others saying that he kept pushing it even when I said “let’s move on”. I can see how I’m TA but I feel like dude was kinda asking for it. And if I 100% am, any advice on how to remedy the situation at least so the next hangout isn’t super awkward. Thanks Reddit, I’ll await your wisdom

Edit: yes. Ik this is a stupid thing to fight about lmao before anyone says it. It’s why I didn’t expect it to escalate so much

Update:

This wack ass man child fkn slashed my tires. I did the adult thing, to keep the peace in my friend group and avoid forcing ppl to pick sides and apologized to him in person after I got off of work.

His fkn response still has my blood boiling. He said that “it was nice to see a woman learn her place”. Fuck this guy. He also made the mistake of saying that right in front of my partner, who immediately lost his temper on him and told him to “get the fuck out of our house”. Homie told my husband he was “pussy whipped” and he needed to be a “real alpha like him” (is that a furry thing???)

We cut all contact with him, told our friend grouped what happened and he was kicked from the group. Idk wtf this man is on, or what was running thru his head, but when I got up THIS morning (at like 4:30 am) I went to go to work, and found 2 of my tires (brand new) were slashed and one was completely flat. He didn’t cut deep enough in the other.

We know it was him because we literally have an outdoors camera pointed at our cars since we live in a kind of bad neighborhood. My husband played the cameras back and we watched dude pull up in his truck and vandalize my car. I still had to leave for work but my husband called the nonemergency number and hopefully we can get dude to replace the tires.

Kinda thinking it was less of him being delusional over the flat earth theory and more of him being a crybaby over a woman having an opinion and proving him wrong. You can’t fix crazy people