u/wonderingwoman-

It’s been over 2 months.. you’re in a different state thousands of miles away, and will be marrying her “sooner or later” you told me.. so I guess it’s time to go through all 14,785 photos and finally get rid of all of ours.. 7 years of my life.. just gone.. I’ve adjusted a lot over the two months and I’ve found positivity in the little things.. but I just don’t think I’ll ever get why I wasn’t enough.. and how 7 years can be traded for just a few short months..but I’ve just chopped it up to maybe I’m not meant to understand. ❤️‍🩹

I thought I was doing a pretty good job at pretending to be happy..

I’m not quite sure where else to post this. But I need to get it out. I’ve thought about dying a lot the past few weeks. Especially the last. I’ve lost the only person I feel that I will ever truly love and I quite honestly would rather have something peacefully take me out than to sit here and yearn for someone that will more than likely never come back and I’ll never be enough for. He was my whole life. For 7 years. And he just moves on and leaves me here.. I don’t want to love anyone else and I’m not exactly sure that I would enjoy being lonely the rest of my life. We have two beautiful children together and I just keep telling myself that I have to be strong and move on and make it for them. But I’ve been wondering at what age would be best for me to leave them? I love them and don’t want to just absolutely traumatize them but I’m so tired… I’m thinking around 18 -20, if I can hold out that long. I guess I’m just seeking advice and wondering if any other parents has ever thought about or been thru this..?

*** When I say leave them, I mean, finally build the courage to take myself out and leave them in this world.