u/yeah-its-me-hi

I've been through hell. 3 miscarrages, 1 living son who was growth restricted and i had preeclampsia with while on baby aspirin. And another son that was stillborn due to placental abruption at 37 weeks, also on baby aspirin. No one wants to test for factor v. No one wants to test for anything actually. My obs just said "keep trying" "preeclampsia just happens" "abruption just happen"

I went to my gp and begged her to test for it. She said no, but sent me to a mfm. My appointment is in 5 weeks and I hope they test for something, anything! Factor v fits everything I've been through right? Id even pay put off pocket for it at this point. Its... just... a... blood... test.... they'll pay 17k for each d&c I've had, plus 30k for my stillbirth and 45k for my living sons complicated delivery, but i can't get them to test for this....

I'm not pregnant again yet, but my ob has said in any future pregnancies I will be having a scheduled c section at 36 weeks. I asked my sons pediatrician what would my baby need being essentially a month early. He said it's not a guaranteed nicu stay. But will likely need help with oxygen. But he seemed to think feeding was going to be the bigger issue, possible ng tube. If you delivered early, what was your experience? Did they need help with breathing or feeding? How long did they stay in the hospital?

My son just turned 4. I, unfortunately, had a stillborn a few months ago. They were going to be 3.5 years apart which was already larger than i wanted. But it didn't happen sooner. I have to wait till later in the year to start trying again. Which would put my son at a minimum of 5 if we got pregnant right away. He'll likely be older than that though. What are some things you liked about having a newborn with a 5+ year old kid? Or even when they got older. I could use some good stories. This wasn't my plan but I want to see the light and look forward to a new idea what their sibling friendship could look like.

I've had 3 missed miscarrages. 2 confirmed genetically normal and saw an early heat beat before loss. 1 living son who was growth restricted and was very small full term. 5.5lbs at 40+1. Plus preeclampsia. Then I had a placental abruption and still birth at 37 weeks with my most recent pregnancy. I always suspected I had placental issues just from how all my losses and my living sons birth played out.

Recently I found out about thrombophilia. Apparently I was tested for the aquired ones, like lupus, after my second miscarrage and they were negative. But I never had any genetic testing for the inherited ones. When I looked up thrombophilia and pregnancy issues, I felt as though I was checking off a grocery list.

Recurrent miscarrages... check

Preeclampsia.... check

Iugr/ small for gestational age... check

Placental abruption... check

Stillbirth... check

Too many things have happened to me to just label it as "bad luck" and these are all placenta related issues.

I've never had any clots or any symptoms outside of pregnancy. Whether that's dumb luck or my decent diet and life style, mixture of both, I don't know.

But if anyone has any stories, advice or knowledge on this please share. Is it worth me pushing for the genetic testing? What should I know? What should I advocate for? Am I just grasping at straws trying to come up with a reason for all this shit. Am I crazy?

We still want to have another baby and if there's something we can do to prevent everything we've already gone though from happening again, I want to find out.

But then I read that if it is it inherited, they shy away from using anything other than baby aspirin, which i was already, because there isn't a definitive "yes, blood thinners help fetal outcomes".... feels like even if I do have it, they won't do anything about it.