Another day and I feel even more crazy ...
I posted for the first time yesterday and it was helpful to hear other peoples thoughts ... "outside the vacuum" if you know what I mean.
I could create one long post and try to describe everything but the internet isn't big enough. So instead of trying to boil the ocean I've decided I will just post randomly here as needed to get a public unbiased thoughts and hopefully one day believe what I already know ... that I'm not crazy, the asshole, losing my mind, a jerk, selfish, a dick or any of the other names. I hear often.
So here goes, I live with my gf of 15 years. It's been very up and down, very good and very bad over the years but the last few years its been really bad and "its all my fault"
Tonights argument ... I put a 75" TV in our bedroom and its gotten where all she does is lay in bed and watch HER shows. There is nowhere comfortable for me to sit and watch TV with her unless I'm laying in the bed and she pretty much controls what is on the TV.
We have a nice basement with a sectional, exercise equipment, etc. and I keep telling her that I am going to move the TV down to the basement and every time I try to explain all the practical reasons ... we could watch shows together, we could watch shows alone, someone could actually go to bed and go to sleep and the other could still watch TV, etc. Every time all I get is "I don't like the basement", "you're being a jerk" ... and worse.
I told her here are all the reasons I think it makes sense and here are the argument of practically ... but here is another solution ... "you buy a 75" TV and we'll put it on the wall in the basement and we can leave the TV that is in the bedroom where it is"
Now I am being a dick, blackmailing her into buying a TV, just being an asshole, yada, yada, yada ... I thought it was a reasonable solution but I'm being told I have the problem.
Now I find myself explaining all of this to a world of people whom I don't know just to hear someone tell me I'm not crazy ... or that I actually am the dick if thats the case. It's gaslighting right? I mean I do feel like I'm second guessing my own judgement!!