u/yunn67

I got enough money and could go back to college, but... For what? I wanted to do CSE when I left but now is just not that appealing to me? Also I don't want to work under anyone so getting a degree on what I *do* want to do seems pointless anyway.

I want to start freelance with clothing design + dolls and 100% focus on it and yeah one could argue "just do both" but that thought is what made me leave college (well also being depressed and s*icidal) I *can't* do both, it feels painful to go to college and think I'm wasting my time and could be doing something better so my ADHD gives me paralysis and I end up doing absolutely nothing

So I want to *officially* drop out of college and start freelance. Aka let go of the thought in the back of my head that makes me think I'm a piece of shit for not going to college and should go back or be bothered by my stepdad who will definitely not approve of this

I'm just so incredibly tired of this constant paralysis which when I'm out of college says I'm a piece of shit and is not the best choice and when I *am* in college tells me is a waste of time and I should be working on what I want to

I was having an existential crisis because I had to start doing something due to circumstances (if I could I would prefer rot on my room playing games trust me) so I eventually thought to myself "what if there was no such thing as being perceived? what would I do then?" and college is completely out of question on the scenario

Also ofc this is a new area to me so I'll have to learn lots, but I actually *want* to learn if is something I give two fucks about, that includes the boring number stuff, advertising, profit, technicalities and blah blah blah

It would also try to get a j*b in the meantime since I'll be needing the money tho rn nobody is hiring me and my blank resume

I just want to write this to share my thoughts on the series so far

This anime has been hyped up quite a lot and my favorite genre of all times is psychological horrors especially if they don't say things to our face and make overanalyzing a must but uh... Lain kinda of overdid it LMAO tell me *something* please I'm begging.

I'm currently on episode 10 and have no clue WTF is happening

Ever since ep 1 I had the obvious theory that "ok so Lain's father is probably raising her so she can fulfill her role in an experiment related to the World Wide Web"

On ep 9 where they just give us lore info for no reason I thought "ooh ok, random but that's interesting, makes sense", basically they talk about a bunch of IRL humans and their theories, one of them being that once the human population reaches the same amount of neurons a human has then all of earths population will connect and behave as a hive and it's own being (aka where our anime currently takes place and that connection through tech). Also at one point I thought that "oh real human photos and human world footage! Will this be about Lain eventually waking up to the real world? (Literally) But no, doubt that's it, likelly a style choice

A few other commentaries of things I don't recall which ep they showed up on

- AN ALIEN SHOWED UP??? AND LIKE NEVER AGAIN?? IS THAT RELATED? WTF

- Ok Laine is God lmao she saw herself at the sky (other self?), so what's up with her saying she can't be God due to no followers? I'm pretty sure those kids were worshiping you

- Bro the scenes where the little kids go to clubs makes me so uncomfortable, like let's say that's normal on this world, but it was already shown that middle schoolers care about being popular and there's a social hierchy, meaning in this world teens and adults at the club would not just let little kids stay there.

- Knights who??? God who??? The anime treats as if we know everything about these characters and then when a scene with them shows up I'm supposed to care?? IDK YOU

- Lain herself really bothers me lol She's just... Creepy? But not good creepy. she Doesn't react to anything properly lmao Is like she's a robot doing exactly what she was made and I'm just watching an anime about an experiment going right without any rebellion or drawbacks ( or maybe that*is* it???)

- Ok so either the mom and dad are agents/trainers or they're the fake ones, regardless they're really creepy EXCEPT on the scenes they're face fucking each other which goes against the first two theories

- Also there was that one old guy who died, to my understanding he was the one who made the new OS for the internet cult? And he did that using children right? So uh... Does that matter? Like at all? Does that ever come back??? It really didn't feel like they put much emphasis on that scene, it felt more like a one time gag like the alien thing

- Don't get me wrong, I'm pretty positive I'm fallowing the plotline well and understand it, but so far not a single question was answered at least not in dept

- So... The "layers" must be referring to code access layers right?... So like .. even if it is, wouldn't Lain be on the highest access layer anyway?

- Did the creepy glasses guy really said that he loves Lain lol? I hope they explain that later on and is not just a romance, that plus the teacher x student thing... *any CLAMP anime flashback*

- Something that bothered me since the beginning is... How did Lain get money for all of that tech stuff? I mean she doesn't seem to have any memories of herself so I'm assuming her father just put it there and made it seem like it had always been there, but like... That's kinda lame, I hope there's another explanation

Now some stuff I did enjoy about Laine

- The opening song is good

- I like the fully quiet scenes

- The eerieness is really good

- Some scenes are pretty creepy

- I like the idea tho not the execution

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Btw I heard that the manga is just as vague and also only tells a tiny bit of the story, so if I play the game, will I get some world building? Like... Will they tell me wtf is going on? I would love to analyze the fuck out of this series if I knew I would come to an actual sensical conclusion

Ola! Eu acho que a minha familia iria ter beneficio de ir para uma therapia juntas, mas a maior causa do estrese e o filho autista da minha irma então alguem terapista que ja lidou e entende neurodivergencia

Ou se tem algum tratamento particular para uma criança de 12 anos com autismo level 2? A minha irma supostamente ja procurou por anos e nunca achou ninguem para ajudar

Eu prefiro recomendações de pessoas que tenham crianças autistas, ou conhecem pessoas que passaram por coisas similares

I'm a 20yo NEET and lost the person who had been supporting me and now I gotta somehow get my shit together. My first resume from when I was 17 or so just said that I had great grades on AP CS , took care of my grandma and could lift some weights and was into char design lol

Now my grades are shit ever since high school and dropped out of college, haven't done any work at all even volunteering or taking care of grandma, haven't touched weights in forever and have noodle arms, no drivers license, no nothing.

Genuinely wtf do I write lmao, it feels like I'm on a hole and can't get out and it gets worse every year. I could do volunteer work just that just feels like a waste of time rn since I need to make money.

I'll be living with my stepdad and he's one of those anti-neet maga people so even if I would love to rot away, I'll probably need to do *something* to not get kicked out

What kind of job would even accept me with a blank resume lol

Also before someone says "just lie", *how* do I lie?? like... they'll ask questions about the lie and likely demand some kind of proof