Congratulations, archive user! By repeatedly asking for a file we already told you isn’t here, you’ve unlocked our Secret Back Room Full Of Missing Files!
Only the most persistent and demanding customers take the bold steps necessary to drag the REAL truth from our lips! And you’ve done it in record time with your impressively belligerent manner! What you have long suspected is true! All archivists and records managers are liars who take pleasure in clutching secrets to our chests and giggling!! Thank goodness you strolled in and rescued this file (which is definitely real! and has totally been here all along!) from being lost in obscurity forever!!!