Why Michigan State is winning the national championship (top tier analysis)
I’ve seen lots of speculation as to who will take home the national championship trophy this year, but I can finally put the debate to rest as Michigan State will be winning the title.
Confused? Here’s why:
In 3 out of the past 3 years, the eventual national champion played Washington in Seattle the following year.
Obviously, this trend will continue and is not a fluke. This narrows our list of candidates to just 7:
Fresno State, Portland State, Maryland, Michigan State, Nebraska, Oregon, and USC.
But we can use the process of elimination to slowly narrow down our list to just 2.
Now you might see Oregon on the list and instantly assume that the preseason #2 team, with this blessing on their side, is bound to finally reach the summit. Unfortunately these people aren’t considering one crucial factor about the Ducks: god hates them. They should have had a shot in 2001 but the computers picked Nebraska. Then 2007 but Dixon got hurt. Then 2010 but they forgot how to tackle. Then 2012 but they lost to Stanford after a missed kick. Then 2014 but OSU blasted them. Then 2019 but ASU upset them. Then 2021 but Stanford again. Then 2023 but UW got them. Then 2024 but oops it’s OSU again. Then 2025 but they forgot to google Cignetti. Do you realize just how many times the Ducks haven’t won a natty? Clearly, they have no hope and will not win this year.
USC is the next logical candidate but then we remember Lincoln Riley is their coach. Lincoln Riley. The same guy who has coached 3 Heisman trophy winners, and hasn’t won a playoff game? Get real. They’ll probably miss the playoffs after finding a way to lose to Utah again. Sure, the Utes aren’t on their schedule, but USC finds ways to lose. They have since Pete Carroll left. How else do you think their best year since ended with losing to fucking Tulane. Tulane!
Obviously Fresno State can be eliminated next, since G5 teams never ever beat P4 teams ever. Every single G5 team that beat a P4 team was a fluke and if they played an SEC schedule they’d go 6-6 at best.
We can of course eliminate Maryland since winning the national championship means winning games past September, which as far as I can tell isn’t possible for the Terps.
Portland State is also from the state of Oregon, and as we discussed above they cannot have good things. Maybe they’ll win the FCS championship actually. Are they any good?
Finally that leaves us with Nebraska and Michigan State.
And let me tell you, this was tough. I looked at this from every angle, trying to find an edge. Finally, it hit me.
You see, as someone who lived through the trauma of the 2024 national championship game, I hate Michigan.
Did they cheat against us? Probably not. Did they cheat during the 2021, 2022, and parts of the 2023 seasons? Probably. Have they been served karmic justice for that? I don’t think so. Sure you can point to the parade of scandals that surround them, and the fact that they actually gave Dave Portnoy a degree, but that’s not enough. They just won a Basketball title for fucks sake. I think they only way they can atone is to watch their in state rival win it all. Therefore, we can eliminate Nebraska.
In conclusion the season can’t start soon enough go dawgs