r/Church_of_England

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My mother passed away last Christmas. She was still very young, and I miss her more than I can put into words.

There is a churchyard in England where my grandmother (her mum) and my mum’s two sisters have had their ashes interred in the same family plot. It had always been our understanding, and more importantly my mum’s wish, that when she died her ashes would be interred with them.

I recently contacted the vicar to arrange this and was told that the plot is now considered full and that my mum’s ashes cannot be added. I explained that I am not asking for a new plot — I only want her ashes to be placed in the existing family plot — but the answer was a firm no because there is apparently no further capacity.

I’m absolutely heartbroken by this. To me, putting her somewhere else feels completely wrong. She belongs with her mum and her sisters, and this was what she wanted.

So my question is purely about the potential legal consequences:

What could realistically happen if I interred her ashes in the existing family plot myself, without the church’s permission?

I know exactly where the family plot is and would not knowingly disturb anybody else’s remains or any other plot. I’m also not talking about damaging the church or memorials.

I understand that doing this without permission may be unlawful, and I’m not asking whether it’s advisable. I’m trying to understand what law I would actually be breaking and whether this would be a civil matter, a criminal offence, or potentially both, and what penalties or consequences I could face.

For example, could I be fined, prosecuted, required to remove the ashes, or face some other consequence?

I appreciate this probably sounds extreme, but this is incredibly important to me and I want to understand the legal position before I make any decisions.

I have been looking to buy a copy of the 1662 BCP, but I have run into a bit of confusion because different versions seem to contain different lectionaries or ommit them entirely.

Some mention, for example, a lectionary from 1922, others one from the 1700s. Others (pressumably) from 1662.

Could anyone put me in the picture as to why the lectionaries aren't from 1662 and which editions contain which lectionaries?

I'm CofE and my partner and I have been living in the US for the past decade. We recently got engaged after 9 years together, and are looking forward to finally being married. We got a marriage certificate in the US a few years ago for bureaucratic reasons. No rings, no vows, no prayers, and no family. We never got to make a commitment to one another or make any promises. Gemini says you're not allowed a CofE marriage service if you already have a marriage certificate. Is it true that a vicar is not allowed to marry us with the words "what God hath joined together let no man put asunder"? I really don't see the point of a blessing if the church believes the piece of paper replaces the divine covenant.

I'm hoping someone here can help shed light on what is and isn't possible for us. I'm currently feeling devastated that we will never be truly married.