r/CollegeEssays

i’m currently trying to build my college essay, and i know that i definitely want to write it about these things:

I am the younger sister and my older sister is pretty much prefect at everything she does

and i’ve kinda never had anything for myself

for example, we are both girls, so i didn’t have that, and we already look pretty much the same

i’ve only ever done sports that she’s been in and the only elective i’ve taken is one of the million that she took

i love her so much and don’t want to make this essay seem like im literally just 💩 talking her, but i have no idea what i could compare myself to in order to get my essay flowing

any help or suggestions are welcome!! 🙏

Would anyone be willing to peer review my Harvard Essays?

If you're interested, please send me a message or comment below! I'll share the link to the documents with you. Please be as candid as possible—I really want to know if these essays accurately convey who I am and how I think.

I couldn't trust to share it with anyone I know, but I really do need critique.
Please help.
Personal Essay, short draft:

I switched T-shirts with a complete stranger while waiting in an ice cream line. A year earlier, I could barely start a conversation with someone I did not know. That change started with the greatest coincidence of my high school years. During an open period in my junior year, I was walking toward my teacher's desk when three students I barely knew called me over. They were trying to find a random person in the hallway to become friends with, and I happened to be that person.
Before junior year, I was very quiet and insecure about my looks and especially my accent. English is not my first language, and after moving to the United States, I often felt like I did not belong. During sophomore year, I took English 2 Honors. Just knowing it was an Honors class made me feel like everyone else belonged there more than me. Presentations were a huge fear, and avoided talking to classmates whenever I could. Most of my communication was online. Even simple group work could become awkward because was too nervous to speak. I also did not have very good study habits. I liked math, physics, and science, and always wanted to take harder classes, but I did not spend much time studying. If I got a Bor C without much effort, I thought that was good enough.
After those three students invited me to their table, we started spending more time together. Later, they told me they had noticed me in previous years and had wanted to talk to me before. That surprised me. For years, I thought people were judging my accent, looks, or knowledge. I started to realize that most of that judgment was only in my head. My friends were also much better at studying than I was. They did homework, studied for tests, and spent time working outside class. I wanted to catch up to them, so I started doing the same. We met after school to study and finish assignments.
The change started showing in my grades. My weighted GPA went from about 3.91 in the first semester of junior year to 4.42 in the second semester. More importantly, I stopped being afraid of harder classes and started challenging myself more. One of my friends helped me find a job, which taught me how to balance work and school. My friend Jax also helped bring back my interest in art. I returned to art during junior year, took Drawing and Painting II, and worked toward taking AP Drawing Portfolio my senior year.
The biggest change was social. I became much more open with people. One night downtown, I ended up talking to three random people on the street and getting them to join our group. The person I was in sophomore year would probably not believe I could do that. I still get nervous sometimes, but 1 now look at fear differently. I learned that when I understand exactly what I am afraid of, it usually feels much smaller. A lot of my fears were just situations I created in my head before anything even happened.
Now, when I have a goal, I try not to focus on everything that could go wrong. I focus on what I can do next.

Are there any experts even former admissions officers who are willing to review and provide feedback on BS/MD applications? Please reach out to me asap.

hi! I've been having a really difficult time writing my Common App essay because I genuinely don't have many hobbies, and I don't even know what type of person I am. I don't really enjoy doing things like at all and I've struggled with depression since childhood, and I also don't have many friends. My depression isn't a challenge I've "overcome", depression doesn't just go away like that. There have been better and worse periods, but it's still something I live with. I'm also worried because I feel like my experience isn't particularly unique.

I am passionate about going to college and have put a lot of effort into my extracurriculars, but when I try to think of a personal story or something meaningful to write about, I feel like I have nothing. I don't want to write the generic "I struggled, but I overcame it" essay, especially because that wouldn't be an accurate representation of my experience. I'm applying mostly to highly selective/T20 schools, so I feel like I need a genuinely strong essay.

Does anyone have advice for figuring out what I could write about when I don't have a big hobby, unusual talent, or dramatic story? What kinds of things should I look for in my everyday life or experiences that could make a meaningful essay? I'd really appreciate any advice or perspectives!

thank you!

My Name

Professor name

WRS 101, B1

14/08/26

The argument for social media; how digital platforms evolved writing

Pop culture nor social media–– as a facet of pop culture–– is “Killing Writing”.

Online pop culture has inspired more young people than ever before to become writers, to create online spaces–– like Letter boxed, Sub stack, and even Youtube channels–– where they can express their perspective and engage with the media they consume more deeply. More and more young people today do for fun, what would’ve only been considered homework 20 years ago. In this paper I will focus on three platforms in particular: Letter Boxed, Substack, and Youtube video essays. 

Letter Boxed is a social media platform dedicated to the discussion of films.  User posts vary from brief movie reviews, to deeper, more explorative film analysis. Either way, Letter Boxed encourages the practice of critical analytical skills in both the viewing, and the writing about a film. 

My second example (Sub stack), is a blogging and newsletter sharing application, that also allows writers to monetize self-published articles without the use of a traditional publication. Although it is a newer platform, substack is quickly growing in popularity, especially among those who wish to share longer posts exploring complex topics.  Regardless of what you post, Sub stack is an example of a platform that can engage users in writing long format intentional pieces, about any topic that interests them. 

Lastly I want to highlight a specific sub-culture of youtube channels within the larger platform, Video essay channels. Each of these platforms (Letter Boxed, Substack, Youtube video essays) is an example of a non short-form content social media platform, that encourages slow meaningful consumption, deep interaction, and does not exhibit the addictive qualities of so called “scrolling” platforms such as: Tik Tok, Instagram reels, and even Twitter (the latter being a mostly text based example). The nature of short-form platforms means that users have superficial engagements with content and spend less time with individual posts. This entails moving quickly from one thing to the next, while never fully processing the information being presented or having a meaningful interaction. 

There has been an ongoing conversation about the harm social media has done, from negatively affecting users' mental health, and contributing to declining literacy rates, to fostering short attention spans and eroding critical thinking skills. While there is evidence to support some of these claims, like the deleterious mental health effects associated with the over consumption of short form content (also known as “doom scrolling” or "dopamine scrolling”)- both defined here by the National Library of Medicine; “Unlike doom-scrolling, which focuses on negative content dopamine-scrolling seemingly operates through reward mechanisms and variable reinforcement schedules, making it a unique and potentially habit-forming behaviour” (Sharpe, Spooner 3). Research shows that the concern over shortened attention spans, and declining literacy are over exaggerated. In popular culture is killing writing Mitchell Stephens calls this the “perpetual literacy crisis that are (is) remarkably consistent decade after decade” (Stephans 195). As for the panic around attention span decline; in 2015, Time magazine published an article on a study done by Microsoft Canada claiming that humans now have the attention span that of a goldfish. Many people have looked into this report on attention spans, and have been unable to find any record of the research from any of the institutions Microsoft cited as its source for the findings.  “(W)hen I (He) contact(ed) the listed sources - the National Center for Biotechnology Information at the US National Library of Medicine, and the Associated Press - neither can find any record of research that backs up the stats” (Maybin 10). Of course, the lack of evidence to support the “goldfish attention span” claim has not stopped sensationalist media publications from spreading it around ever since.  And according to an article published by nature; “Overall, there are no convincing data from controlled lab tests to support the idea that people have become less able to concentrate because the capacity of attention is being degraded over time” (Adam 14). I believe that the perception of a “shorter attention span”, is the result of a disproportionate use of short form social media platforms, over those featuring long form formats. Like anything else, longer engagement endurance (i.e. attention span) comes with practice. Making the switch from short-form to long-form social media can be hugely beneficial in lessening the side effects individuals experience from “doom-scrolling” or “dopamine-scrolling”. Sitting with a single topic or video allows you the time necessary to fully engage with the information that is being presented, and the ability to derive deeper meaning from the material. Again, this is a matter of habit, not a crisis of brain deterioration or mental decline, as many would have you believe.

Long form content based social media platforms are the focus of my defence in the case against the notion that “Pop Culture is Killing Writing”.  It is my belief that of the valid criticisms against social media and pop culture, most neglect to acknowledge positive alternative modes of content, such as those I have cited above–– the strongest case of which I believe to be Youtube video essays. I want to distinguish here a “video essay” from a Youtube video essay. The term video essay dates back to the 1940’s, and was coined by Hans Richter. “Video essay” has since been used to refer to a wide variety of different styles of video, each varying in the use of visual and auditory media, and each associated with its own definition of what exactly a “video essay” is. For the purposes of this essay I will be defining a Youtube video essay as a formally written essay produced through video format, accompanied by the narration of the essay either through post production vocal overlay, or through the native audio of a video recording of the creator in front of the camera. The video should include both supplementary visual media such as photos or video clips that are used as either sources for analysis, or serving the purposes of artistic effect. The video essay must follow any formally structured essay format, so long as it is inclusive of a clearly established thesis, a body of supporting evidence, and a conclusion.  

A Youtube video essay is not only a creative outlet that has engaged countless young people in research and writing, but is also potentially an educational tool that could be used in classrooms. Bromwyn Williams argues in Pop Culture is Killing writing, that there is an intersection between rhetorical skills taught in the classroom, and the Rhetorical skills students learn through the consumption of pop culture. Humans have the innate ability of passive pattern recognition, it is a survival mechanism to notice the trends that exist around us; as such, students begin to form an understanding of concepts such as: style, genre, audience, character trope, authorial presence, collaboration, and remix–– as is noted by Williams–– all before they have the technical vocabulary to accompany them. Williams explains that educators should take students’––pop culture informed–– rhetorical and literary backgrounds into account in the classroom; “If we help students understand and articulate the knowledge they have learned from popular culture in terms of audience, genre, and style, it is easier to get them to consider how all writing works within particular genre conventions” (Williams 197). 

Having established the potential benefit of pop culture in education, we should now consider the impact that the growing popularity of video essays has on a student's educational background (i.e. as it pertains to literary and rhetorical understanding). Distinct from other forms of pop culture, video essays exist in a unique space between formal academic content and pop culture content. Video essays can serve as an educational precursor on not only the topics explored in the essay, but also on essay writing itself. Forms of pop culture other than Youtube video essays, passively inform the viewer on rhetorical concepts- “Students learn a tremendous amount about rhetoric and communication from their engagement with popular culture, most notably about rhetorical concepts such as genre, audience, and style. When researchers talk with students about their popular culture reading, the students talk knowledgeably and even critically about these rhetorical aspects. Students may talk about a romantic comedy in terms of genre conventions, for example, discussing the kinds of character types that typically show up, whether as protagonists or sidekicks” (Williams 197). 

Youtube video essays, in addition to being passively informative, can also be actively informative. Take for example a Youtube video essay about harmful stereotypes that are perpetuated through character tropes in film and television, this is directly informative about genre convention and character style. As for how Youtube video essays may be beneficial for teaching formal writing, rather than simply describing the building blocks of an introductory paragraph, students may be shown a video essay–– a format with which they are already familiar–– and asked to identify the different elements, such as the thesis of the essay, or the key arguments. Drawing from and building upon a student’s pre-existing knowledge of structured essays and rhetoric in formal instruction on these topics, would make the formal writing curriculum more accessible to students. 

In conclusion, pop culture not only inspires youth to write, but it provides platforms to do so, and also creates better writers. We should not discount all social media simply because there are platforms that are inherently flawed with regard to fostering a shallow relationship with the content we consume, and or the derivation of deeper meaning of subject matter (ex: short form platforms such as Tik Tok). Many social media platforms have been enormously beneficial to young writers (e.g. platforms such as Youtube video essays). Given that users often make informed decisions on which platforms they frequent, choosing to consume and create content meaningfully and comprehensively –– pop culture only positively contributes to the craft of writing, and in no way poses a threat of “killing” it.

Works Cited

Williams, Bronwyn. “Popular Culture is Killing Writing”. Bad Ideas About Writing, edited by Cheryl E. Ball and Drew M. Loewe, West Virginia University Libraries, 2017, pp. 194–201.

Sharpe, Benjamin. Spooner, Rylee. “Dopamine-scrolling: a modern public health challenge requiring urgent attention”. *Perspectives in Public Health,*National Library of Medicine, Sage Journals, 2025, par.(3), Ver.(145), vol.(4), doi:(10.1177/17579139251331914).

 Maybin, Simon. “Busting the attention span myth”. BBC World Service, BBC, 2017, par.(10), doi:(https://www.bbc.com/news/health-38896790).

Adam, David. “Are attention spans really shrinking? What the science says”. News Feature, Nature, 2026, par.(14), doi:(https://doi.org/10.1038/d41586-026-01407-w). 

Rubric for Paper 2

	Strong	Good	Needs work
Content:
Sense of direction (or thesis) is clearly expressed  Writer discusses something specific and relevant to WRS 101			X paper needs a thesis
Writer provides precise and relevant examples to discuss the topic		X
Writer builds ideas logically with a clear progression and addend insight Writer actively engages with scholarly sources and demonstrates understanding of the sources and their significance to the writer’s work		X X	X X
Organization:
Writer uses appropriate pattern of organization (logic)		X
Genre is obvious to the reader and the writer demonstrates awareness of context, audience and disciplinary expectations		X
Concepts:
Writer demonstrates evidence of incorporating WRS 101 related concepts/ discussions/ lectures into the work		X
Requirements and Mechanics
Evidence of substantive revision through drafts and feedback incorporation  Drafts progress substantially		X	X X
Grammar and punctuation do not impede reader’s ability to understand the paper			X
Writer completed and submitted all drafts on time and actively participated in all Paper 2 related activities	YES
Sources are of scholarly nature and are documented properly using MLA or APA style;		X	X Entries need to be in alphabetical order and second lines indented.
Grade:  C+ (69%) Summative comments: This paper is definitely an improvement on your first paper. But there are still several unclearly expressed thoughts throughout.  A full thesis would have helped to guide the reader. Some of your sources are not placed into the paper stylistically or grammatically and lack analysis (we talked about this in my office), so it’s difficult to figure out how you are connecting them.  A rigorous proofreading would have also helped this paper with clarity and audience awareness.  I like this paper and I would encourage you to keep working on your writing as you have interesting things to share with your readers.
Contract grade: B+ (85%) Inksheds:    strong      good     satisfactory   incomplete  Drafts all submitted and on time:       YES        Participation in discussion, high-stakes workshops and class activities: strong good       satisfactory   incomplete  Missed _1__out of 32 class activities

 (EDIT) Also for context I am extremely vocal in class discussions, I answer questions, and I participate fully in class activities. I don't know why she seems to not like me, because it didn't really seem that way in class. I did mention being gay in one of my first writing activities and I wonder if that had any impact.

Hello! Thank you for taking the time to read my post.

I am in the process of applying to Harvard College as an international student from the Dominican Republic. I have completed my Common App Personal Essay (650 words) and all five Harvard supplemental essays.

I would love to find someone willing to read them with a critical and honest eye. I am not looking for someone to rewrite or correct them for me. What matters most to me is understanding:

• What impression do I leave on you after you read them?
• What specific aspects of my personality do you remember?
• Does the essay truly allow you to get to know me as a person?
• Are there parts that feel forced, confusing, or unauthentic?
• What would you change or strengthen if you were in my shoes?

If you are a current Harvard student, have navigated a competitive admissions process, work with college application essays, or simply have experience reviewing Personal Statements, I would greatly appreciate your perspective.

I am happy to send the essays via direct message. Thank you so much in advance for any feedback!

"Why aren't you crying?" a girl beside me, who couldn't have been more than a year older than me, asked while tugging at my hair to get my attention**.** I glimpsed my parents leave the boarding school campus, and I assumed they would be coming back. "There's no reason to cry."

That night in the dorm rooms, after the lights went out, I found myself gazing at the ceiling from my bed and then at the clock, like I was patiently waiting for my parents' return. At eight years old, I didn't understand what this separation meant, especially when it was from my parents, so naturally I assumed they'd be back. Eventually, exhaustion took over, and I passed out.

The next morning I woke up with a blue blanket wrapped over me and two girls in pigtails staring me down. "She never lets us sleep in this late." The girl from yesterday said, “I think it's because you're new,” her friend said. I looked around me; everyone had started their day, getting dressed, braiding each other's hair and talking in groups. I stared at the clock on the wall again and realised they weren't coming back.

The dorm maid walked over and began getting me ready for the day. Before I knew it, I was dressed, sitting on the edge of my bed as she showed me how to put my socks on, which was when I couldn't help but glance at the other girls, most older than me, who were...happy, not worried or sad about not being with their parents, away from home

(its not finished, just what ive come up with so far)

What's up everyone! I'm working on my Common App personal statement and I'm currently a little over the word limit. I'm trying to figure out what parts are actually important to keep and what I can cut without losing the main message of the essay.

For anyone who's already gone through the college application process, what are some things you found helpful when cutting down your personal statement? How did you decide what to keep, remove, or rewrite while still keeping your essay personal and authentic?

Any advice would be greatly appreciated :)

so i've been struggling for a while now to come up with a college essay. because of that, i went on youtube and started doing a bunch of exercises from channels like the college essay guy to try and come up with some ideas. a recurring theme throughout every exercise i have completed is my introversion. i like taking walks/biking so i can be alone. i like cooking when i am alone. i like being alone to watch movies, or to watch videos on youtube. i tend to be the most productive when im alone.

what i am wondering is if this would be okay to write about, or if it would reflect poorly on myself. ive seen multiple essays on shifting from an introvert to an extrovert, where the student's original introversion was framed as a negative, and ive seen people online say that it could come off as a negative since a major part of college is connecting with others.

additionally, i feel even if i don't write directly about being an introvert, and instead about one of my hobbies that i mentioned above, it would feel like i am hiding the full picture if ignored this aspect of them.

thanks in advance to anyone who responds.

Well, I’ve seen several posts here and in other college subreddits asking the same questions about the personal statement, so I wanted to offer some general guidance as you continue working on those essays.

1. How do I come up with the best idea and essay that AOs would like to see?

Firstly, this isn't the right approach for the main personal statement. The primary purpose of the PS is to get to know you beyond your test scores, GPA, and courses. Therefore, you’re not writing to impress the AO, but rather to help them understand the kind of person you are for their school. I keep seeing the ‘how do I select the best topic’ posts, and my response to that is to reflect on yourself.

The best approach I’ve personally used for some of my students is to start writing. You can outline all the topics you’d like to explore and whittle down the unnecessary ones as you go. This should be the first step. The second step should be thinking about your main point. Remember, at the end of the day, you’re still competing with thousands of students worldwide. Therefore, you want to focus on your strengths. This is thus the place to consider the values and general qualities you’d like the Aos to know about you. Keeping the competition in mind, focus only on growth and positives. Thirdly, start working on your drafts before having someone else go over them. Rinse and repeat!

2. Can I use my hardship story?

While the admissions process is holistic, it is not recommended to use your personal statement as a confession for all the things that have ever been wrong in your life. I hate to break it to you, but half the applicants have experienced something relatively traumatic in their lives. In fact, most people, including the Aos, have had something. Therefore, most of the hardship stories you’d assume will offer some wiggle room for your essay (which is supposed to compensate for some of your poor grades lol!) may actually backfire and negatively impact your application. I’d leave the hardships for the additional section unless otherwise. If your situation was too grave for the additional section, and integral for understanding who you’ll be in college, then sure, you can write about that. However, if you decide to go this route, focus on highlighting your strengths rather than your weaknesses. Lastly, don’t go down the rabbit hole of trying to seek sympathy from the reader. Most of the time, this won't work and can even hurt your application. Again, remember that you’re not the only applicant. I think that puts things into perspective.

3. Ending the personal statement

I’ve seen this a lot in past reviews, as well as current posts. You don’t have to tell us that you’ve learnt how to persevere, or become a better listener, etc. We should be able to figure that out ourselves throughout your story. I’ve noticed that most of the students emphasize the hook statements and leave the ending a mess. While this might not directly affect the quality of your application, it makes the PS a mess and disqualifies your writing points. Please make sure your values, or whatever personality you’ve chosen, are ubiquitous throughout your essay. You shouldn’t have to tell us at the end which, funny enough, is usually a disconnect from the main story.

I have so much to say about writing the PS, but in the meantime, use this general advice.

Hi! For a bit of context, I'm going to college next year (as in 2027), and I'm trying to figure out what to write about. I have a few ideas, but one that stuck out to me was my journey of coming out as pansexual and genderqueer. I have a few hesitations on whether or not I should write about it. Any advice on what I should do? Thanks!

Hey!! I'm trying to finalize my essay-- I have already worked it to be a final draft, however I would love a little feedback from other Redditors. If you have time and are willing to read it, please dm me and I would love for you to read/critique my essay.

Hello aspiring college students!

In my last post, I offered to review essays while on my camping trip 🏕️ and the turn out was amazing! You’ve all kept me entertained through the night! I received over 60!requests and have gotten through all but a small handful which should be done by today.

Since many of you loved my feedback and found it helpful, I’m back again to help! This time, I’ll be at work in my office/cubicle. Instead of dozing off after a big lunch, I’ll keep myself awake with essay reviews! Please send your essays my way and again, if I’m slow to reply, it’s because there’s probably a large queue of essays and chat requests. Please nudge me if needed!

This time around, please include the prompt that you are answer, along with what schools/major(s) you’re aiming for. It helps with setting better context and knowing what you’re up against!

Happy Sunday!

Off to the races 🐎!

Edit: Cough Cough - We are currently experience higher message volume. Please leave your DMs and I’ll return your message shortly. Your patience is greatly appreciated.

Also, everyone’s essays are so great! You guys are really upping the game when it comes to creativity and expression. My response may be slower, because I’m actually reading your essays multiple times over before providing a detailed feedback. Believe me, I want everyone here to get into their dream schools! 🏫

i was late to puberty. like late late. like when i was 14 some guy asked me if im in the right place. i was a sophomore. i looked 9.

is that a good essay topic? to show that even though i did grow a bit in 2 years i still have no facial hair and people still think i look like a freshman, but it kinda stopped bothering me?

I did a bit of an “exercise” where I just sat down and started writing anything that came to mind that I knew I could make some sort of story out of. It definitely isn’t the best, but if anyone could read it over and tell me where I went wrong, where I may have went right, etc. I highly doubt this will be the rough draft to my final essay, and while I like the story I feel it definitely isn’t everything admissions officers are looking for. And yes I already know I should avoid using this much detail for the tea making process LOL.

A sip from the mug led me only to disappointment. No, that wasn’t right either!

I had created at least 5 cups of these tea since begging my dad to buy it for me from the coffee shop I frequent an hour from home. It was an exquisite experience, and I found myself calmer and more focused than ever before while drinking the honey, honey tea with a spoonful of honey mixed in. If only I could get that same experience at home! And so after a week or two of asking my dad, he bought it for me.

My first time brewing the tea of course wasn’t going to be perfect, but I didn’t realize that until my second sip. Maybe it needed longer. So the next night I let the tea sit in the water for a full 10 minutes (as instructed by the top recommendation on Google) and tried it then. It still wasn’t tasting right! I was sure I would’ve had it by then.

Ok. I knew what I was doing this time. Apparently, you’re supposed to give room for the tea leaves to expand—of course! I had been using this tiny contraption that squeezed and packed the tea leaves in tight so that I could dunk it in my mug without the leaves becoming able to get out. Instead, I dusted off an old glass (?) that my dad used to use for his coffee, and I poured my hot water and loose tea leaves in there. I let it sit for 10 minutes (as instructed) and filtered out the leaves in the tea through a strainer and let the juices of my labor fall into my mug. I added my regular amount of honey and…still not it.

Now I was really upset at this point, nothing seemed to be working! What did it want now? My soul? My first born child? My totally normal sized serving of honey? Fine.

The next time, I brewed it exactly how I was instructed and only added half of what I usually add in terms of honey. It felt as if I was sacrificing my pleasure for a meager cup of tea. Upon the first sip…it was better. I took a second sip. It was better! Now it was far from perfect and far from what the coffee shop I went to served, but I was actually getting somewhere.

With my next cup of tea I went through the motions but this time only let the tea leaves steep for 5 minutes. Apparently the first Google recommendation doesn’t have the cure all after all and sometimes you have to dig a bit deeper. Deeper meaning the official tea companies website with a page literally labeled “What to do if your tea doesn’t have enough flavor?” You’d think that would be the first thing I check, well, you’re wrong.

Alright. I was ready. It was go time. The previous day I had gone to the coffee shop and bravely asked the woman at the front register how they brew their tea. I knew what I was doing.

I took out the glass (?) and set it to the side, grabbing my mug and filling it up with filtered water (you shouldn’t use tap water, as the chemicals mixed into the water, while minuscule, can actually alter the taste of the tea) and placed it in my microwave for two rounds of the “beverage” setting (whatever that meant). I prepared a tablespoon of the leaves in advance to be put directly into the hot water. About three minutes later, it was ready to be transferred from the mug to the glass (?), and I immediately dumped the first round of leaves into the water and then prepared ANOTHER to be dumped directly in with the first round and water. I quickly put the lid on (to trap the heat) and waited exactly (?) minutes. I strained the tea leaves from the tea and added exactly one spoonful of our locally sourced honey from the college farm my uncle works at.

I stirred carefully, and drew the mug up for my first sip.

I am a beautiful, ugly, and all encompassing mess. And I love that so dearly. I love my anger, I love my sorrow, I love my overreactions, I love my pain. This gives me an even deeper love for my skin tingling joy, the full body chills when I get excited, the feeling of music running through each individual nerve so delicately it causes my brain to go quiet, my ability to express my every emotion in words, and the everlasting ~~feeling~~ knowledge that everything will be okay because I’ve overcome much worse, and most importantly my deep gratitude. How lucky I am to be breathing, be covered in a warm blanket inside of a happy home. How lucky I am to be young, and to have the entire world ahead of me, with the ability to do whatever I want and go wherever I please. All I wanted when I was young, was to be an adult, and to do my makeup, drive a car, sit at a cafe alone, party with my friends, drive to a random field to run in, and I’m here. I’m here and I can’t let myself take those insignificant seeming dreams for granted, because they’re everything to me and more. My dream is to live, not just to survive. I need to feel everything, every moment of suffering and pain, each moment of small hope tucked deeply into the seams of sadness, every feeling of radiant joy that makes up for every bad feeling I’ve ever had, every moment of boredom that seems inescapable, every gnawing, aching, beautiful minute of life I want to feel and experience. I want to accept the times I am miserable, the times I am suffering, so I am able to accept the inevitable times where it will become better. The pain is never for nothing, even when it feels as such; I can connect with others in a way I wish someone had connected with me and I can empathize. Empathy and grace are so rare today, which is understandable when most people are hurting inside. The older I’ve gotten the more I’ve realized I’m not truly different than everyone else, because most people are unfortunately suffering. Not in a massive, dramatic way all the time; but in a way that sits somewhere deep inside of their subconscious, with a refusal to be attended to, gnawing at every inch of their souls until they crack and explode. Though it returns back to where it came from, staying dormant until it hits its limit once again and leaves even more explosively. The feeling is all encompassing, but it is also temporary and most of all: embarrassing. So it seems better to not think of, or shove down, until it returns once more. This is my worst fear, so I rip those feelings out of my subconscious and stare at them with no judgement, analyzing and plucking through them, and giving myself grace. Anger and guilt are just attempts of the ego to not feel what there truly is by only focusing on the effects of it, it’s shame, we feel shame. That feeling is so deep, and so difficult, but it is also the only way to move past something and learn from it. I’ll never be able to take back some things I did to hurt the people I love, and I’ll never forget it. It stays to remind me of what to do differently and what I could learn from it, and I don’t best myself up over it either. Grace, and forgiveness; and shame can be felt equally, though a complicated mix that has to be perfected.

Hello everyone! I just finished my college essay and I was interested if anyone wanted to read it? I I’m also more than willing to read someone else’s, but I really don’t have qualifications to give you feedback lol.