Genuinely my negative back to back experience from adolescence has changed me so much to the point im becoming emotionless, like im becoming less empathetic and evil. I feel a deep anger and hatred inside for being passive when i couldve been meaner, than people paint me to be. Im learning to embrace people disliking me and owning the villain role. People will gaslight u for noticing their mistreatment of them. And just noticing weird power hungry social climbing of nts when they percieve u to be below them in the social hierarchies and the switch up when they believe u to be higher. Especially when ur put in competitive environments like work and education.

I saw this tiktok post of an nd girl that said if u get the chance be mean be meaner and think the next day of how you could be even more of a bitch. Dont bully ofc bus having boundaries is key. If u let someone temp check and be rude and u ignore it, it can set the precedent for how others will treat u Show others how much respect they should give u. By doing this it protects u from bullying, bullies pick targets they percieve to be weak. Have no mercy i believe its ok to be selfish to an extent, we all subconsciously are to an extent, thats why there is a bystander effect , we dont want to be subjected to scrutiny or abuse from those in power.

And those in power tend to narcissists and i think thats why alot of nds tend to but heads with them, well speaking for me. Some nds can be naive to narcissists abuse. The key is spotting them and avoiding them really. I also think being fake is a good tool and can protect u alot, sometimes in secondary school i thought that this popular girl is an evil bully why do ppl like her the truth is alot of them never really liked the popular bullies and these friendgroups dont like eachother but are rather playing a tactical game. It is safer to be an insider than an outsider. Thread carefully in majority neurotypical spaces like the work places by spotting these discrepancies.

I used to be the person everyone came to with their problems. And I wore it like a badge of honor. "I'm a good listener." "People trust me." All that.

Except I was exhausted Constantly. I'd spend hours on the phone with the same friend venting about the same situations. Same coworker drama Same ex Same complaints about life not changing. And somehow I'd hang up feeling heavier than before the call.

I started noticing a pattern. The people who drained me the most had something in common: they never asked how I was doing Not once. Three years of 2-hour phone calls and this person never once said "how are YOU holding up?" Not a single time.

I didn't realize it until I tracked it 87 calls over 6 months Zero questions about me.

That's when something clicked. I wasn't being a good friend I was being a free service. And the reason I felt drained is because I was giving emotional labor and getting nothing back.

So I stopped. I started saying "I can't take that call right now" or "I've got capacity for about 15 minutes." Some of them got angry One said I changed One said I was being selfish. One just stopped calling altogether.

Here's what I learned people who are used to you overgiving will feel cheated when you start setting limits. That doesn't mean you're doing something wrong. It means the relationship was built on what you gave, not who you are.

I lost three friendships But the ones that stayed Those are real. And I have energy for them now.

If you're in a situation where someone's constantly taking and you're constantly giving and you don't know how to change it without losing the relationship, Comment your situation or send me a DM. I can share what worked for me Sometimes it helps to talk it through with someone who's been there.

You see, this is how narcissists work: their main source of energy is their pride and ego.

They live in their own version of reality, an imaginary world where their potential is either imaginary or grossly exaggerated.

This mask they don is a coping mechanism meant to shield themselves from their authentic selves: a highly emotionally fragile self that self-destructs upon immediate exposure to truth.

Because they refuse to embrace and take accountability of how weak and insecure they truly are deep inside, they act as control freaks in their relationships, doing the most worthless things, like dictating what their ex wears, who they go out with, etc.,

Chances are you are reading this cause you feel powerless right now.

Your narcissist piece of dogshit excuse of an ex-partner left you like you were nothing.

But what if I told you, in the future, you can dictate their entire mental framework, for the REST of their lives, without even LIFTING a finger?

All you need to do is this: go no contact and work on yourself.

The key to healing doesn’t really lie within conventional advice like working out, eating healthy, spending time with family and friends, etc., but by allowing the grief to reshape you with self-love and self-reflection.

By surrendering to your pain, healing and emotional growth come forth. 

Stalking your narcissist ex on social media will gradually become more of a chore than an obsession.

When your ex starts seeing that you can live without them, that's when the sense of loss and anxiety begin kicking in.

Your ex had the confidence to leave you like you were nothing back then because they believed you would always be available.

Now they are starting to panic because they are realizing you are no longer the same person they got to control and fuck with.

Just sit back and eat your popcorn the day your ex starts messaging you again like crazy.

They’ll start by throwing breadcrumbs, and eventually a whole loaf of bread before they realize their shitty manipulative tactics are no longer working. 

Because a narcissist is never equipped with the maturity and courage needed to do even a second’s worth of self-reflection, they will never heal.

Therefore, a life well-lived enslaves your ex’s mental health until they die. 

Make an Instagram story about your emotional development progress. Your narcissist ex will combust upon viewing it.

Don’t be so surprised, after a few years, you hear about your ex being evicted by their landlord because they forked over all their money to some random twitch streamer. 

They do this because they become so desperate to forget about you at this point.

"If following the rules brought you here, then what was the point of the rules?"

This quote made me think about the psychology of rule-following.

Some people are raised to follow the rules wherever they go. They wait their turn, respect other people's space, avoid cutting corners, and believe that doing the right thing will eventually pay off.

Then, later in life, they encounter people who ignore the rules. They cut the queue, invade people's space, bend or break the rules, and still end up ahead. Sometimes they even achieve more.

That can create a psychological conflict. The rule-follower starts questioning everything: "Was I just being obedient? Was I naive? If someone who ignores the rules ends up more successful than me, what was the point of following them in the first place?"

I'm curious whether psychology has a name for this kind of mental awakening.

Before the accusations of toxic masculinity begin, I am 28F.

Please message with actual answers to the question; I understand the "concern" of putting such answers out in a public forum.

Now, to answer the immediate responses that tend to be common:

Anhedonia isn't something you want. Trust me.

I've been on both sides of the river: feeling too strongly, and feeling nothing at all. The latter I felt in High School at 16-17, and that was the most successful I have ever been. I felt nothing, and for that reason, I was everything. I was at my greatest. I was at my most valuable. I graduated in the top 10% of my class, was the person everyone came to for advice, was reliable, and it all came down to having zero emotional distraction. The walking encyclopedia, with an answer to anything. I miss it.

What about your boyfriend/girlfriend/etc.?

I have never been in a relationship, and decided about three years ago that I was never suitable for one to begin with. Luckily, I had already taken the necessary measures to permanently remove myself from the dating pool. Erasing the prospect has done wonders for my productivity; I haven't had to worry about placing myself in such a situation since, allowing me to focus on my work instead. It's been a leap in the right direction.

Things like emotion and vulnerability are needed for social interaction.

I've limited all social interaction, outside of my family. Unfortunately, my energy is finite, and it needs to be saved for what matters (i.e. the workplace). Any conversation beyond the utility I offer is ceased. I've been able to successfully dissuade anything besides surface-level interaction, when it comes to inquires about myself. I am always the therapist, and therapy is best when given from a mouth with no emotional bias. People who keep asking about something that isn't there receive a warning; subsequent insistence receives a block.

You need to feel to experience life!

This isn't a concern. I'm waiting out the clock, and need to maximize my performance in the meantime.

Emotion has been plaguing me lately. In the same vein, my vulnerability is my most worst flaw. I need a reliable (albeit unorthodox) way to dismiss both.

Messages with ways to remove these problems, or other general inquiries, are welcomed. Messages regarding "therapy" will be blocked.

​

I started doing this experiment a few months ago. Whenever someone comes at me hot—like a coworker trying to start drama, or someone trying to win a stupid argument—I completely stop fighting back.

​Instead of defending myself (which is what they want), I just look them dead in the eye and calmly say, "You know what? You're actually completely right. I agree with you."

​It literally crashes their brain. You can see the error 404 happen in their eyes.

​People who are looking for a conflict already have a script running in their head. They expect you to push back (brute force) so they can use their next line. When you completely remove the resistance, they have nothing to push against. They just stand there stuttering, or they get visibly frustrated that they can't be mad anymore.

​It takes absolutely zero energy from me, and it completely derails their entire system because they didn't get the dopamine hit of a fight. It’s crazy how predictable human behavior is once you stop playing by the rules they expect you to play by.

​Anyone else do this? It almost feels like a social glitch.

As a guy myself I genuinely don’t get their position. At the same time they claim that women are hypergamous and don’t want to sleep with most guys which is totally logical. But then they will claim that some women are whores and that they are ran through, so do they want them to sleep with them or do they want them to stay pure ? Not to mention that the people enabling this behavior are the same red pill guys that flex the amount of women they slept with.

What is so funny is that these “strong” guys focus so much about their imaginary battle with women while they view them as objects of conquest which is a direct contradiction since they should view them as not responsible of their mistakes if they want to look down on them but ironically the importance that they give to their opinion is actually doing the exact equality goal that feminism wanted.

Toxic women seem to be rampant- and emotional abuse from a woman to a man seems to get a pass in society today has anyone else noticed this? I’ve met so many bad women in the past 10 years I can’t be the only person who has experienced this. I’ve lost the desire to deal with the majority of them

As a guy I genuinely don’t get how guys like that, I am speaking specifically of the physical part here, not morality. How do guys possibly get turned on by “breaking the hymen” and getting stained with blood at the meantime while the woman with them is having a terrible time ? That sounds absolutely gross, but I genuinely want to know what psychosexual aspect make it attractive to some guys.

Again, I want to say that I am not talking about the social aspect of “freshness” or the conquest aspect, just purely from a physical perspective, this sounds terrible. I mean I thought that guys actually cared about their partner liking what they do whether they are good or bad. And I am not shaming anyone btw, I just want to understand, and I don’t care about the purity aspect I just want to know what makes it fun PHYSICALLY.

you're good company. genuinely. you know how to be present in a room, how to make conversation move, how to find the thing that puts people at ease and lean into it. nobody leaves time with you feeling drained or uncomfortable. you're the person people describe as easy, low maintenance, fun to be around.

and you go home and feel slightly hollow in a way you can't fully explain.

because the version of you that showed up tonight, the one everybody enjoyed spending time with, was real but it wasn't complete. it was the curated version. the one with the sharper edges filed down, the complicated parts left in the car, the opinions that might create friction kept quiet in favor of something smoother.

you learned somewhere that the full version of you was a lot. maybe someone said so directly. maybe it was more subtle than that, a pattern of conversations where the moment you brought something heavier or more complex the energy shifted and you felt the room pull back slightly and you registered that and quietly decided to stop bringing those parts out with most people.

so you got very good at the edited version. and the edited version is genuinely enjoyable and that part is real, you're not performing a fake personality. you just started leaving most of yourself at the door before walking in, because the whole version felt like a risk and the edited version felt safe.

the cost is this specific loneliness. not the loneliness of being alone, but the loneliness of being surrounded by people who enjoy your company and not feeling fully known by any of them. being liked for something that's true but incomplete, which is its own specific kind of invisible.

the full version of you isn't too much. it's just more than what you've been willing to test, because the last time you did, something happened that made you decide the edited version was safer.

that decision protected you at the time. it might be the thing keeping everyone at exactly the same distance now.

I was sharing my unpleasant interaction with someone in the Tarot Community, and I'm now being bullied. Why does this happen??? 😭🙏

https://www.reddit.com/r/TarotReading/s/N8uAplPula