r/DottoreMains

Okay here are the options:

A) His model is very old and needs change

B) Because he already has two boss fights

C) Because he is seen as monster and devs r also not into it because they used him for Sandrone and Columbina drip marketing(?)

D) Because he is not x.1 boss

E) Because he will come back and they will not - I say as they drag me back to asylum

And of course, comment for other options

We only had them when talking about him I guess..

I also kinda miss when dialogue choices would usually give you slightly different reactions and weren't just essentially two times the same button (ok tbh that was looong ago when that felt more common...)

That's the post.

This isn't so much a rant as it is what I'd call looking back on what was my only real initial reprave from a very dark time in my life and letting go of it now.

About four years ago now, I got into dottore as a stand alone character, ironically I only got into genshin much later by the end of the year (around the time Fontaine was about to be released and at the tail end of sumeru). The hyperfixation I had on this toothpaste man was one of the most intense I had felt up until that point in my life and honestly I don't think I've had another that matched the height of my first two years in the dottore fandom, I'm guessing it was mostly a timing thing since I started making dedicated fanart boards on Pinterest, reading more fanfiction, finding fan comics again- as well as well as getting into fandom community for the first time.

Ofcourse I very quickly learned the type of reputation dottore had within the genshin fandom at large and although it sounds idiotic in retrospective, this was the first time I put aside my compulsive need to be liked by the masses, even in fandom and was perfectly comfortable just- not being some people's cup of tea. Some of the first online friends I made were made through dottore fan pages and the like (ironically most of those friendships have fallen through, which, though sad, feels like an appropriate send off), I truly felt like I was part of a community, which at the time was all i could've wanted.

I don't think I need to rehash what's already been said about genshin's writing and the cop outs hoyo pulled regarding not only dottore, but several other characters that oozed potential (I still mourn disability rep Sandrone to this day). This along with life moving on, me growing up, starting art school and getting out of my depressive bubble (for the most part at least) made the attachment just that much more fickle.

The community I loved with all my heart at a time had grown thrice its size and though it'll be a long time before I start getting gatekeep-y about people appreciating the things I appreciate, it's also caused me to study the unwavering love i had for this community. I learned that to a degree I was falling back into my cycle of needing approval, only I was going the extra mile and taking all criticisms directed at the community as criticisms directed at myself, and feeling guilty for being every bit as comically horrible as a twitter thread in the fandom would have you believe, even if I was the furthest thing from; I figured out this was a result of- like i said this community being all i had. I know now, that my view of the community up until recently was kinda unfair to the people in here; it was the idea that it was a monolithic good, that everyone occupying it was the epitome of calm and nice, nicer than any other sub-community in the genshin fandom. Which, simply isn't the case, I think in removing the idea that all dottore fans are inherently good and that every bad fan reflects the people I engage with because of the common fandom space- i spared myself a lot of turmoil. Because now every time valid criticism arises I can acknowledge it without feeling like a bad person in turn. We are, in the end just as capable of being the things we condemn and we are not worse people for sharing a space with people that are those things- especially when we actively call those people out, people that lump entire communities into a monolith are inherently false in whatever sweeping claim they make, I was like that too- even if the claim was positive. that sounds preachy and cringe, I'm aware, but it took me a while to fully internalise that.

It is stupid, I'm aware to base one's opinion of themselves on the actions of a collective, but I've only recently gotten into the habit of thinking myself equal to the average person and therefore capable of having morality of my own that isn't reflected by the people I happen to share an interest with. And with all that growing up behind me, and now with the ability to look at this community and my fixation critically; I can safely say I'm leaving it behind.

This sounds sappy and honestly I know I make it sound grandiose when it's really just me making a note to myself saying that I won't be as involved in the community anymore (It's not even that I'm leaving lol), but again, I wanted it to be recorded somewhere, that I'm looking back at the person I was and the dependences i had- and im not uncomfortable with what i see, I'm learning not to be so critical of the child I was. This community, for all its faults, saved me for lack of a better term, and I feel content letting my love for it fade into background noise as I move on to do more important things in life.

This isn't a post I expect to be read or acknowledged, given how lengthy and sappy it gets- but, I know I wanted to leave a retrospective somewhere, leaving it here feels proper.