r/FriendsOver40

So here's the thing. I spend my days trying to design strategies to beat cancer at the molecular level, which sounds impressive until you realize that most days are spent on 3 things 1) work hard 2) come home and pour a glass of wine that I made (questionable quality, but 100% effective) 3) watch documentaries about serial killers, or cartoons. Make it make sense.

I'm Kay, 44, on the US East Coast, and apparently at a stage in life where making new friends requires posting on Reddit. Most communication fizzles out, but maybe 1 in 40 strike a real friendship. Truly living the dream.

When I'm not doing science things (yeah I'm a science nerd, you can make fun of it), I'm cooking, hiking, reading sci-fi and thrillers, rewatching LOTR and/or StarTrek for the hundredth time, or deep in a Wikipedia rabbit hole that started innocently and ended somewhere completely unhinged. I also make my own wine, which I maintain is a hobby and not a cry for help. Because hobbies are classy, whining is not. Right?

Just looking for chill, no pressure conversation. No agendas, no weird vibes, just two humans talking about whatever. I'm easy.

18+ please, and I promise I actually reply. Maybe not tonight, but tomorrow for sure.

Drop a message, tell me something random about yourself, and let's see what happens.

Dear community,

People joke that when you meet someone, one of two things happens: you either end up together… or they become your biggest heartbreak.
Well… just my luck. 🤷🏻‍♀️

So no, I’m not here looking for my next heartbreak (dear God, please no 😅). I’m simply trying to put myself back out there and remind myself that there are still genuinely kind, interesting people worth meeting.

A little about me: I love good conversations, dark humor, coffee, memes, spontaneous adventures, and people who can laugh at themselves. I’m rebuilding my life one small step at a time, and I figured making new friends might be a good place to start.
If you’ve ever had to start over in your 40s—or if you’re simply looking to expand your circle—I’d love to hear your story.
Here’s to fresh connections and hopefully a few lasting friendships.

Hi Folks,

Teacher here (F), looking for someone to chat with as I am easing into summer break, decompressing from the school year. Turning 49 in six-ish weeks and wondering if I should be posting in Friends Over 50 (is that a subreddit? I do not know).

I have had some success seeking friends on reddit - one is still going strong after... holy moly, five years, maybe? I have had other good convos go into the several years range; however, most have eventually fizzled out - I'll admit, probably because of me. I am a good chatter when my brain is happy and life is not doling out its not always kind shenanigans; yet, I can go MIA for a bit if real world priorities guide me elsewhere, so... ya.

Straight up, so as to avoid awkwardness: politically, I am left of left. I don't have a political affiliation and politics do not infiltrate daily convos, but I'm at a stage in my life where I'm not interested in fuelling friendships with people whose core values are in opposition to mine. So, if that irks you, I'm not your gal.

Other tidbits:

- I'm a mama and am not single

- I love animals and nature

- I had horses for most of my life and love them and riding, but I currently do not own or ride them

- I used to be a rabid reader, but am now an avid audiobook consumer (particularly: dystopian, crime, horror, sci fi)

- I am fat and out of shape and do not go to the gym

- I don't play video games and anything more complex than the original Mario Bros. is beyond me

- mental wellness advocacy is important to me

If you're up for seeing if we click friendship-wise, feel free to say 'hello'.

Just sitting out here on the patio absorbing the North Carolina morning sunshine before it turns into an absolute afternoon sweat fest.

I have a perfectly creamy coffee in hand while Blink182 plays quietly in the background. What's My Age Again? hits a little different now that the answer is officially 44 hahaha…

I am staring at the charred remnants of last night's fireworks, all while watching the golden floof shift from one hundred mile per hour morning zoomies to suddenly being suspiciously quiet.

I am 99% sure he is eating something he shouldn't be under the trampoline, but I do not have the energy to investigate just yet.

20-year old me would think this is a boring Sunday but 44-year old me thinks this is absolute peace.

What’s everyone else’s Sunday looking like?

Hey!

I’m a 42F living in the North of England with my young children, and I’m looking for genuine, thoughtful friendships built around shared ideas, interests and hobbies. I’m happily single, so I’m not looking for anything more complicated.

I’m a chemistry teacher, an avid walker (usually around 20–30 miles a week), and a lifelong lover of music, film and books. I also enjoy illustration and arts and crafts.

Some of my favourite things:

Music: Mount Eerie, Bright Eyes, Phoebe Bridgers, Big Thief, Adrianne Lenker, Mike Flannery, Johnny Flynn, Laura Marling, Ben Kweller, MJ Lenderman, Jeffrey Lewis, Laura Veirs, Magnolia Electric Co., Radiohead.

Films: Anything by David Lynch, Wes Anderson or Robert Eggers; The Great Beauty, Portrait of a Lady on Fire, The Banshees of Inisherin, Poor Things.

Books: Tolstoy, Dostoevsky, Salinger, Lovecraft, Graeme Macrae Burnet and Andrew Michael Hurley. I’m drawn to literary fiction, folk tales, and eerie, atmospheric stories.

Podcasts: Old Gods of Appalachia, The Magnus Archives, Jon Ronson’s podcasts, Hunting Warhead, I Am Not a Monster, S-Town.

I met one of my closest friends on Reddit, so I know genuine connections can happen here. If it sounds like we’d get along, I’d love to hear from you. 😊

About me:

Im a 40 year old guy, im from Edmonton, AB in Canada.

Im have many interests and I guess you can say im an all around guy.

My range is from baking/cooking to fixing cars and building things around the house. Im an animal lover, I have a cat who is turning 20 this year, the outdoors is my passion as im often going fishing, camping, hiking or exploring.

Im looking for a chat buddy, im respectful and always support my friends in whatever they do. I can have mature and immature conversations depending on what your poison is.

I've recently gone through a career change. I was management in a logistics warehouse for a huge international company to a humble tradesman.

I love listening to podcasts about paranormal, aliens and mysteries oh and also history! I also game on Xbox and pc.

Thats a brief....there's much much more

I can’t talk to anyone because I don’t want anyone to know I fell for someone on Reddit. I poured my heart out to someone, but the feelings weren’t reciprocated. I’m feeling embarrassed and incredibly stupid for letting this happen. Just looking for a little company, conversation, and distraction tonight. Happy 4th of July, everyone :)

Tired of this week, 2 blackouts. Food thrown out and I just spent my last $100 on groceries this morning just to have another blackout. My dog is terrified of fireworks, my neighbor has a shit box car he revs constantly and it's over 85° in my room. I'm transgender (M2F) and I am completely alone. Nobody to chat with about much. I got one newish friend whom I have not met in person and 2 friends who live in different timezones. One brother and that's about it.

Well that started off pretty bleak. Don't worry about my mental health, I'm good. I just really need some friends.

Now for the fun stuff? I like video games, currently jumping between Cyberpunk 2077, Watch Dogs 2 and FC 25. TV I'm currently watching Supernatural (again) and Welcome to Wrexham. I haven't watched any new movies but I love me some ass kicking and explosions! I love cars, I have a Focus ST and my dream car is the Skyline GTR 34. My stupid money car is the Koenigsegg Jesko or Agera.

My life is a bit, EH? I'm open to questions, I do my best answering questions and please ask anything you want! I'm not a shy person and I am very willing to explain, educate and listen.

Hmmmm.... What else? I'm currently on a weight loss journey I've lost a billion pounds (34lbs) in 3 months, I'm trying to get that feminine physique so I break hearts and look good in my birthday suit too 😂😂

I'm not tall but I'm not short either, I just recently came out as trans and started hormones in December. I am just over 5 months sober from alcohol, I do not smoke and I do not vape. I'm really good at thumb wrestling, fidgeting, showers, paying bills (definitely an expert) and I have an unnecessary and uncanny ability to name whatever movie you're thinking of with almost no real information.

BTW I'm 42, I have a 17yo son who lives with me.

Let me start off by saying.. I am an extremely shy person. I have anxiety when I am talking to anyone I don't know.. so, it makes it very hard for me to even talk to anyone new. I live in Florida. I tend to spend most of my time at home with my kittens, watching movies or playing video games. I just want a kind friend who won't make me feel bad about myself and will build my confidence and doesn't have a sadistic sense of humor. If you don't mind someone shy and think you could deal with someone like me.. maybe sent me a message?

Hey. Brand new on Reddit. Would love to make some friends here (that might move to friends in real life). 44 yo female. From Seattle. More of an introvert. Can be a bit sensitive at times🙂‍↕️. But would love a break from that. Living alone right now. That can be hard. Need to expand. Who’s out there🙂

Hi there. I’m have connected with a few people here but I always feel as though I am the one carrying the conversation and they are responding to me, with short answers. I’m looking forward to someone who is interested in chatting. I’m available both during the day and am usually up relatively late at night. Looking for someone based in the USA. Ideally wanting someone who is smart, silly, and sarcastic to become friends with.

Looking for people who enjoy conversations that don’t feel forced. I’m happy talking about everyday life, books, food, random observations, or whatever the conversation naturally drifts toward.
No pressure to keep the chat going if we don’t click. If we do, even better.

To break the ice, answer this:
What’s something small that makes you disproportionately happy?

Mine is the smell of coffee early in the morning before the world wakes up.

Hello, I am in my mid 50s and would like to make some new online friends. A little about me. I am married, I travel from time to time and love eating foods from the places I have been. I am not the best at making friends but I'm willing to put in a effort. I read scifi, fantasy and horror. Enjoy cheesy bad movies and live music. I love spicy food and enjoy coffee.

Conversation starters.

1. What is your favorite food.

2. What was the best place you have traveled to.

3. What book did you have to power through because you just weren't willing to give it up.

4. Did you ever go somewhere that you dreaded but turned out to really enjoy the experience?

​

Hi! I’m a 40F who has lots of free time and lots of energy to burn. I almost have no social life at the moment because I work far from my hometown. I realized that on most days I barely talk to anyone, so I’m hoping to find a few online friends to change that.

I don’t mind if you’re male or female. WHat matters to me is that you’re genuine and not just passing through. It honestly hurts when I have a great conversation with someone and they disappear after two days. So please, if you message me, I’d really appreciate it if you’re not just being fleeting.

I’m open to talking about almost anything as long as you’re respectful. We can casually chat about the World Cup, your annoying co‑worker, or even harmless neighbor gossip. We can also dive into more serious conversations about life, work, or whatever’s on your mind.

So don’t be shy! send me a message and let’s start chatting. 🤗 I promise to match your energy.

Im married with Kids.. I always work..

The wife works but comes home and sits infront of that pc and works till 2am, sometimes she never sleeps.. Weekends she sleeps right through..

So ja I have a pretty boring life.

I breed Roaches and keep ducks and quail and chickens the only thing that keeps me mentally healthy...

So Im looking for someone that can Just keep me company and talk.

Hello, I am in my mid 50s and would like to make some new online friends. A little about me. I am married, I travel from time to time and love eating foods from the places I have been. I am not the best at making friends but I'm willing to put in a effort. I read scifi, fantasy and horror. Enjoy cheesy bad movies and live music. I love spicy food and enjoy coffee.

Conversation starters.

1. What is your favorite food.

2. What was the best place you have traveled to.

3. What book did you have to power through because you just weren't willing to give it up.

4. Did you ever go somewhere that you dreaded but turned out to really enjoy the experience?

I learned this term a few months ago and realized I’ve been the floater friend my entire life. It can be annoying at times. In high school on Monday I’d hear about what my friends did over the weekend without me. And then there were similar occurrences in college. And then instances more recently. A friend messaged last week to see if I was busy today. He was going to be alone for the holiday and didn’t want to be. So I made plans with him. I texted him this morning and he canceled because he got invited somewhere else. On one hand I’m ok with it because I have a lot I want to do here. But on the other hand, I rearranged my schedule to make time for him so he didn’t have to be alone and I was just ditched for something better. It makes me not want to put forth any effort into these friendships anymore. I’m always just the back up plan.

Hi everyone! 46M fire captain here. A little about me...I've worked in the fire service for over 20 years now. I have two large dogs who are my best buddies. I enjoy working out in the yard on my acreage, spending time outside on hikes, using the fire pit and really whenever I can. I'm currently working on a Master's in AI (I realize that's not super popular right now, but I see a ton of ways it could potentially help the fire service). I can watch the Office, Big Bang Theory, and Parks and Rec countless times without getting sick of them. If any of this sounds like you PM me!

Somewhere after 40, I realized the people I enjoy talking to aren't necessarily the loudest or the most exciting. They're the ones who can have a conversation that goes from football to books, from work frustrations to the universe, and somehow make two hours disappear.

Life gets busy. Careers, responsibilities, family, routines. Making new friends becomes surprisingly difficult, even though most of us probably wouldn't mind having a few more people to talk to.

I'm curious how many others have found the same thing.

What has friendship looked like for you after 40? Do you still make new friends, or has your circle mostly stayed the same? Have online friendships ever turned into real ones, or do you think they're different?

No agenda here. Just interested in hearing different perspectives from people who've lived a little.

Only interested in talking to folks in the USA, due to time zone differences. And please only reach out if you share the same interests.

Just to preface, please do not reach out unless you’re serious about making friends. My last post got a lot of replies, but people only want to talk every few days, or have none of the same interests that I posted. I just ask, please be communicative, know how to have a conversation, and have time to chat/text during the day. I’m looking for friends in the usa as well only, due to the time zone compatibility.

Hey, I’m not good at saying great things about myself, it’s not something I really think about much. I can tell you a few things about me because I truly would like to make a friend or two here, and I’d rather have them stick around because they like ME, and not some mask I put on for the sake of getting replies on the internet. The ones that do reply, hopefully read this all and are looking for the same.

I’m looking for consistent chat during the day. I have a lot of free time, and a chill job that allows me time to talk whenever. I am a fan of audio messages, texting and just conversation about deep topics, silly topics, your day, my day, mental health, weird stuff, whatever really. Conversation comes easy to me. I have been talking semi-professionally for the past 8 years so I know how to handle my end of a conversation, which is what sets me apart from most here. I’m also brutally honest. Ask a question, get a real answer. You’ll always get my unfiltered, honest opinion. People will never have to guess with me, and I don’t play games. Plus I don’t collect people, and ideally would have a small, consistent group of friend, 1-3 that I talk to daily. That’s all I want, and need. I won’t spread myself thin, and will always communicate and be transparent.

I’m an adult. Grown man. I can handle anything you throw at me and I won’t take offense. I’m not sure what happened to people these days, but it definitely skipped me. I laugh, I tell jokes, I cuss, and I love sitting around and talking nonsense, like we all used to before politics divided the country. Speaking of politics, I refuse to talk to anyone that hates the opposing side. If you’re a part of the problem, stay out of my orbit. We’re all people. Communicate, agree to disagree and live and let live. The world is full of nastiness, let’s start being nicer.

I am a big tv/movie viewer. As an introvert, it’s a hobby I suppose. I’d love to watch stuff with you. Virtually. I have met one amazing friend, my best friend, on here, and hoping to make 1-2 more decent ones to round out my circle and fulfill my thirst for communication. If you reply, be able to communicate, have time and energy to put into getting to know someone and start a friendship, and if you’re married, I just ask that you’re not chatting behind someones back. If that’s the case, message someone else. There are a lot of people into that. Not me. Please message with basic info about yourself and let’s chat.