r/IslamicNikah

Me(22F pakistan) and my husband had our nikkah 6 months ago. It was arranged marriage by our parents. Not talking much before nikkah was relatively understandable but I constantly find his attitude distant, almost like he doesn't care. Even on the day of our nikkah, he didn't talk. I asked him some things like his plans after marriage and why he chose this marriage..... the answers were quite upsetting... he said "Ab shaadi to krni hi thi" (Marriage was bound to happen anyway). Nothing else much...

After nikkah, he moved back to Australia to complete his phd and i was in pakistan so we had not moved in together. he called once every 2 weeks where the communication was very short and forced... and never lasted more than 7 minutes. It kept happening.... I would try to text him sometimes... but there were always cold short answers.... no way for me to continue continue conversations after that.... I kept going trying to convince myself that he's just shy..... however, i got extremely sick last week and i was admitted in hospital for several days and suffering from alot of pain.... I told him I was in hospital and told him my condition..... he left message on read.... didn't reply..... idk... after this I don't want anything to do with him.....

My mother keeps saying it will get better after we move in together and he is just shy.... but i feel something is seriously wrong. Shyness shouldn't exempt someone from basic courtesy...

المرأة عندما تمارس ألاعيب الثقالة أو اللكاعة أو الكذب أو التكذيب أو الغموض أو السلفعة أو الاسترجال أو التطنيش أو الزعل المستمر والغضب والهيجان والصياح والنياح أو قلة الأدب والحياء والاحترام والتقدير أو التكبر أو التطلب أو التجسس أو المراقبة أو النكد أو التطفيش أو التذاكي أو التطاول أو سلاطة اللسان أو النكران والجحود أو العدائية أو الندية أو السيطرة أو الاهانة أو المعارضة أو التسلط أو الاستهزاء والسخرية أو التقليل أو التحقير أو العناد أو البرود أو الخيانة أو التقرف أو الاشمئزاز أو العنفوان والانفعال أو الضرب والتعنيف أو التثبيط أو التحبيط أو التهديد أو التخويف أو الترعيب أو التوتير أو التجريح أو الشتم أو السب أو الوقاحة والبجاحة أو القذارة أو اللامبالاة أو عدم الاكتراث أو الغياب أو القيادة أو اللوم أو التأنيب المستمر أو الإهمال أو الانتقاد أو القساوة أو تفضيل أي رجل آخر أو العصيان أو التململ أو التأخر والبطء في الاستجابة أو التمنع أو التعقيد والتعسير أو الكلام مع رجال آخرين أو تزكية نفسها ومدحها وثناءها على ذاتها أو التجنب أو حتى الشكر اللفظي أو الانزعاج أو الزهق أو الثرثرة أو افشاء الاسرار أو الغيبة والنميمة والتشكي والتباكي أو المطالبة بالمساواة أو أي حقوق كالرجال أو الانشغال حتى فإن كل ذلك يفقدها انوثتها ويعتبر نشوز ولا عذر لها أبدا انتهى

I’m (20F) so surprised that I’m experiencing this, I probably shouldn’t have believed I’d be an exception but here I am, about to have my nikkah and even though I want to do things as halal as possible (not delay nikkah, not go over the top etc.), I find that my parents, mostly Mum, seem to actually have forgotten that Islam comes first.

I dont know if it’s because of Arab culture but my word my Mum has unlocked different levels of performative.

I wanna have my nikkah asap, as I should… islamically there’s no valid reason for me to delay it at all. My fiancé & I are long distance and have been together for 6 months already, our engagement is next month. That’s literally already too late, so I suggested doing our nikkah shortly after the khitbah…

Insane. How dare I want to follow Islam, actually, I’m not even following Islam… I’m so eager to do my nikkah because I just want to kiss and touch and absolutely no other reason, according to her brain.

The Prophet himself had his nikkah and walimah years apart, recommended that people time these events whenever it it *suitable* to each unique couples situation and she is hyperventilating over my 6 month gap that I want between the nikkah and “walimah” (glorified wedding in modern times).

She has also made our living situation an apparent barrier too. I’m mid-uni and my fiancé lives in a different city. We expect to move in end of 2027. We agreed on the idea of making things halal then continue to build our lives up for that year in different ways without the anxiety and guilt of not doing our nikkah since we can.

In front of my dad she says “Tell me your plan after nikkah because I know you are only thinking of the wedding and nothing after it. So you are coming back to this house after you’re married… Uh I think you are supposed to leave your parents house” then after I throw some logic at her, and my dad also says to her that its completely normal and many people get married in uni and live apart for a bit, “I’m just thinking of your best interest bc once you get married, his excitement will be gone. He will not be motivated”

I never expected that me getting married would be the thing to expose my Mums weirdness but it makes sense tbh.

Why do they genuinely seem to forget they are Muslim and they become their culture. It’s so draining and makes me want to leave even more.

Like I don’t care for my wedding to be overrr the top like most Arab weddings, I also don’t like the culture of making the groom go into debt tryna prove to the guests how I’m so expensive bc he got me 100kg of dahab and 30 designer bags. Idc for that. Also my fiancé is not even Arab himself and I don’t want to set the tone for my marriage with wedding expectations like that.

I don’t know what to do with the guilt I feel knowing we could have our katb kitab and the only barrier is my Mums opinion. I’ve just started acquiescing to her timelines because this makes me lose sleep.

As the title says, I'm looking for a suitable Muslim husband for my mom.

My mom is a beautiful, kind-hearted, and devoted Muslimah in her late 40s. My father passed away six years ago. Since then, many men have expressed interest in marrying her, but she always refused because my siblings and I were still young and focused on our studies.

Now, Alhamdulillah, we have all grown up and are starting our own lives. Some of us are getting married, and my mom has finally told us that she feels it's time to think about marriage for herself. She dedicated so many years to raising us and putting our needs before her own, and now we want to see her happy and no longer alone.

I'm hoping to help her find a righteous Muslim husband who fears Allah, has good character, and is genuinely looking for a peaceful, loving marriage.

If you know someone who may be suitable, please feel free to reach out. Jazakum Allahu khayran.

Assalamu Alaikum. My family has been searching for a suitable match for me for a long time, but because we have a very small social network and limited family connections here in India, traditional methods aren't working.

​As an Indian Muslim woman, I am looking into online matrimonial platforms to expand our search, but data privacy and safety are my top priorities. Which apps or websites are the most trustworthy, serious, and respectful of Islamic boundaries (like photo privacy or family/Wali involvement)?

​Would love to hear recommendations from anyone who has safely navigated this process. JazakAllah Khair...

As samu alaykum ya muslimoon

I am looking for a Muslim woman to do Mutah with, as you know allah swt allows it in koran 4:24.

Mehr prices are negotiable, but preferably I’m looking for a 3 hour Mutah marriage and I’ll pay 50 quid per hour of Mutah fun, totalling at £150 (or dollars) as the overall mehr!

Are there any hijabi women looking to make a quick buck? Let’s do mutah Inshaallah!

As for my preferences in a woman who I desire for mutah marriage:

I like “swelling breasts” (just as allah in the Koran does, when he’s talking about the huris in paradise in koran 78:33)

I like hijabi women whose skin is so white until the point that I can see the narrow of their bones! (Just like mohamad does in sahih Bukhari 3254)

I like big one mile sized butts, just like mohamad does (“And he will also have seventy-two wives from the houris in addition to his wives of this world. And the seat of them (the wives) is equivalent to (the size of) a mile of the earth” - musnad Ahmad 10511)

(Also found here: “The hadith which was narrated by Imam Ahmad, from the narration of Ash‘ath the blind, from Shahr ibn Hawshab, from Abu Hurairah, from the Prophet, peace be upon him:
‘And indeed he will have from the houris seventy-two wives, besides his wives from the world.’
‘And indeed one of them will occupy her seat equivalent to the measure of a mile of the earth.’ -Al-Bidayah wa al-Nihayah, Vol. 20, pp. 338–339)

I would also prefer if the big one mile sized butt of the Muslim woman who I desire for mutah, shakes like the buttocks of the women of dhul khalasa! (“The house will not be established until the buttocks of the women of the Daus tribe shake when going around dhul khalasa” - Sahih Bukhari 7116)

And finally if the Muslim woman has an unbroken unpenetrated hymen, just like allah also likes as that is the language he uses to describe the Huris in koran 56:55 and 56:72 (lam yatmituhunna - “their hymens have never been broken”)

So to conclude, I am looking to do Mutah marriage with a Muslim woman who has swelling breasts (78:33), skin so white that I can see her bones as if she’s an x-ray or something lol (Bukhari 3254), a butt the size of a mile! (Musnad Ahmad 10511), that also shakes! (Bukhari 7116) And finally, an unbroken hymen! (55:56, 55:72)

Are there any hijabi women who fit that description who are interested in doing mutah marriage together?

Inshallah let me know sisters!

As samu alaykum

assalamu alaikum brothers

wanted to get some honest thoughts from this community before building something. i'm working on a matrimony platform specifically for muslims who are seriously considering remarriage. divorced, widowed, or those exploring polygyny within the halal boundaries allowed in islam. not a general matrimony app, something much more specific and structured and serious

the reason i'm asking here is because muzz, shaadi type apps are not really built for this situation + they are more about chilling there, very less serious ppl left there and they are built for first marriage mostly and the experience for someone coming back to this process after loss or divorce often feels undignified or not serious enough.

the one thing i want to specifically ask about is the privacy design we are planning. the idea is that the app would live inside a religious utility app like prayer times, qibla, duas and the matrimonial section would only be accessible through a pin or biometric lock inside that. so from outside it just shows as a normal islamic app. the reason for this is not deception of anyone. it is simply that for many people in this situation there are family dynamics, cultural pressures, nosy relatives, or just the personal nature of this decision that makes them want a private space to make ibadah-aligned choices without broadcasting it on their phone screen.(you can ask about the verification layer we planned in comments)

the app itself is designed to be strict about seriousness. there would be verified profiles, a local ai layer that can detect if someone is not being genuine in their conversations, and if someone is clearly there to waste time or not being honest about their intent they would be put on a 30 day timeout before they can engage again. the vision is like a private matrimonial office with adab, but accessible to people across cities.

my specific questions

would the privacy design i described feel permissible and comfortable to you or does it feel like it crosses into something problematic or im just overthinking, i should just position the app as serious remarriage app?

for those who have gone through remarriage or mashallah happy, what made you hesitate to use existing apps or how you found or difficulties you got back then

what would make you feel safe enough to put your real information and niyah into an app like this

what would make you immediately lose trust in it

I wanna dohonest research and this community has some of the most grounded perspectives i have seen on this topic. jazakAllah khair for any thoughts

Is it true that most love marriages fail while arranged marriages survive?

Brothers are allowed to have whatever personal standards or preferences they want.

Sisters have no right to shame men for having standards or preferences especially when it comes to marriage.

Remember brothers never feel shamed for having preferences or standards that is your right don't let anyone force you or shame you into marrying a divorced woman or single mom

For boys getting married soon: Ask your soon-to-be wife about any premarital relationship, situationship, or any relationship she was involved in. It's important to document the name of that thing.

If she says, “No, I am not involved,” you are good to go.

After that...

Add a clause in your Nikahnama or get a separate contract on your Nikah day stating that if she is found involved in any kind of premarital affair or, after marriage, gets into an affair, I would divorce her immediately and not be liable to pay alimony.

If she doesn't accept this contract or clause, you are saved. If she does, you are also safe.

Assalamu alaikum,

I am looking for advice on this matter because i honestly am unsure on whether this is a good idea or not. I have met a Bengali woman online, and she has a great personality and we have gotten to know eachother over the past few weeks. She is excited to marry me and she is already committed, but I am still unsure. we have a 10 year age gap, and I am still a new college student for engineering. I've already talked to her mom and everything and she thinks im most likely going to say yes, and she is even planning her phD plans around this marriage decision. She wants me to decide by the end of the week, and then she will cancel her phD to live with me and do it later. I am not sure if i am at the place in my life to handle this or if the age gap is too large, but i ike her personality and she is great with deen and i do find her kind of attractive. My parents are also unlikely to support this decision. Any help on what I should do in this situation would be appreciated. Jazakallah

Why are so many criminals raised by single moms?

Why are so many single moms on welfare?

Do most women choose to become single moms?

Assalamu Alaikum everyone!

I'm getting married soon, Alhamdulillah, and I want my Nikah to have a few unique and memorable touches instead of feeling like every other wedding.

I'm already planning to have a Sunnah table, but I'd love more ideas whether it's decor, guest experiences, keepsakes, fun activities, meaningful details, food presentation, photo setups, or anything else that made a wedding stand out.

It doesn't have to be expensive or extravagant. I'm just looking for thoughtful, creative ideas that would make the day feel special and memorable for both us and our guests.

What are the most unique things you've seen or done at a Nikah/wedding?

As Salamu Alaykum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuh.

I met someone I like via Muslim matchmaking and he is everything I’m looking for. Mashallah tabarakallah.

He was previously married (2 months) at a younger age. I’m having a little bit of hesitation to go through with the nikkah because of this.

We are both pretty young and I’ve never been married nor have I had a relationship.

What can I do in this scenario to feel more comfortable and confident? Should I rethink this?

Jazakallahu Khairan.