r/LawMoms

I never planned to stay in big law forever, but one year turned into four, and four years somehow turned into nine. It’s definitely time for me to exit. The current plan is to move to my home city next summer so my kids can be closer to family/I can help my sibling care for our aging parents. I’m starting to look into fully remote in house counsel positions. I think I’m done with law firm life and I’m wondering what else I could/should be considering. Maybe teaching? Curious to hear about alternative paths people have taken/considered after big law.

I had an awful experience at my first firm out of law school. Two things contributed to this. 1. I found out I was unexpectedly pregnant after only working there for a month (and still waiting on bar results). 2. It was a small firm. Under 10 employees. I began working for multiple partners and the original partner who had hired me got pissed. This turned into an entire situation with this partner. He and his wife (his legal assistant) began excluding me from everything, constantly complaining to the other partners about me (and not telling the truth), and actively ignoring me in the really small office.
I got another job and told them before I had my baby that when I left for maternity leave (completely expecting them not to pay me), I wouldn’t be coming back. Completely on my own terms. The area I work in is a midsize county, but the legal community is small. This partner began telling people in the community that he was going to fire me and that’s why I quit. His wife began telling people around the office “oh she was going to get fired anyways”. I confronted the managing partner about this, and he said it was completely untrue. Even while pregnant, I was collecting over $20k a month as a first year associate, and I never called in sick although I was miserable.
I thought that leaving and not exposing all the mistreatment was the right way to go. But now, I’m finding out even more about what was going on. This partner was telling the managing partner that I wasn’t producing, and the managing partner took his word for it without even investigating. This partner would send out emails to the entire office calling me out for stupid things that he hadn’t even approached me about. All the while, he would actively ignore me in the office and not once confront me about any issues.
At an event, for example, he referred to me as “the pregnant girl” and not my name when someone brought me up. He also made a comment recently about not hiring anymore young female associates when he thought one of the other associates was pregnant.
It’s just so frustrating because I have about to start my new job and I have a pit in my stomach because this man and his wife are truly awful people, but I will likely be at events with them or on cases against them. Do people like this get their karma? Apparently, I am far from the first person they’ve done this to. This 60 year old man and his wife actively tried to ruin my career as a 25 year old, pregnant, first year associate. Who does that?! And now I’m sure I’m the only one losing sleep about it. To make matters worse, because my life was so miserable for those ten months at the firm, I completely resented my baby while I was pregnant. I just kept thinking that if I wouldn’t have gotten pregnant, none of this would have happened. But after meeting him, I am obsessed with my baby, and the fact that they ever made me feel like that makes me insanely guilty.
I just don’t understand. How do you deal with truly terrible people? I’m making myself sick as I learn more and hear about everything that was going on behind my back. I was very close with another of the partners (one of the reasons the asshole partner got mad), and he tried to shield me from it due to stress. I would still cry usually daily and had my baby early due to preeclampsia likely brought on by stress. This is a horrible ramble session. But I guess my entire point is, why do people suck?

Looking for advice on whether I could get fired for the following: Conflicts cleared and I just had my first week of work despite the background check missing one area of verification. I got notice the report was completed late last night and saw one of my previous employers (not my last one) noted I was terminated for misconduct. There was a disagreement (I had a pre approved vacation and changed the destination last minute for personal reasons and didn’t disclose that but continued working and they got mad I didn’t say where I was on vacation despite it being approved months in advance) nevertheless I resigned (though they did suggest it) because of separate issues and have proof that I resigned. Will this be an issue? I haven’t been contacted regarding it but I also know firms were closed today

For those who worked as lawyers during your pregnancy, how badly were your billables affected, if they were affected? If your billables weren't affected, what were your pregnancy symptoms like?

How long did it take your reputation to recover from decreased billables during pregnancy (if applicable) after you returned from maternity leave?

Somehow, the routine of law school kept me somewhat motivated to put effort in as an intern during my last pregnancy. I interned with the same firm I work for now. However, I am now licensed with a more strict billable requirement and this unplanned pregnancy has me completely drained!! I'm fighting to put my billables in. When not pregnant, I'm productive, efficient, hardworking, and pay attention to details. Now that I'm pregnant again, I'm the complete opposite.

I also have a geriatric pregnancy, so not sure if that's making it worse.

*** Cross-posting here since the role is law adjacent ***

Hello All,

I was laid off in May 26'. I am currently 22 weeks pregnant and interviewing for a job (Wall Street bank) that is a good fit. My bump is showing but has not completely popped - honestly could pass as fat in my midsection with the proper loose fitting shirt. I know I am not supposed to be discriminated against during the hiring process, but let's be real women in finance are discriminated even when not pregnant. The thing is I do need a job.... so I am trying. The last interview I had was with a bank looking to hire by end of July - I am due November 3rd. My question is how do you recommend playing this? At some point they might ask me to come in person. Do I try to conceal carry my child? Do I tell them then? Do I tell them after/if I get an offer? I am a bit lost. Thank you for the advice.

Just wondering if folks have been successful finding a job while 20+ weeks pregnant, did you disclose during the interview process?

Hello everyone!

I’m very early into my pregnancy (few weeks at most) and it looks like I’ll be getting an offer for a hybrid role at a legal aid office very soon. There is an 1 hour commute. I chose this office because the staff are super kind and helpful and there will be a lot of mentorship and guidance. (I worked here during law school). For example, I will act as co counsel on cases before getting my own.

I’m thinking about how I can prepare myself for this new chapter ahead.

I like the idea of having a survival bag when I’m working from the office. Perhaps some ginger chews, snacks, and other items that could help ease pregnancy symptoms.

And of course I won’t qualify for FMLA once the baby comes…. I have not mentioned the pregnancy yet. I interviewed a few weeks ago and found out I was expecting a few days ago.

Besides that, i’m looking for general advice about how to survive this period. Thank you!

I am 6 months postpartum. I switched jobs a month after I got back from maternity leave (got 3 months). I had a pretty traumatic go with my first, emergency c section and other complications that almost took both me and my son out. We both spent a while in the hospital. Physically I feel I am still recovering. I gained a lot of weight during pregnancy and not much has come off despite walking, trying to adjust my diet, and starting a GLP-1 last month.

Starting this job has been great as far as the hours, it’s close to home, and it has much more flexibility. However, I am only a second year and switching practice areas has presented somewhat of a learning curve. I just feel like my brain is not working like it was before postpartum… so much so that I think it’s noticeable. I move a little slower and my attention span is much shorter right now. Our baby sleeps pretty well, so I think it’s just me and trying to manage the hormones and all of the changes to my body. I’m sure post partum is hard in this way for any working mom, but as a law mom, I feel like the challenge really presents itself because of how much our credibility is crucial in this profession. As much as I want to believe we have evolved as a society and in this profession, I have felt some hostility from staff members and others in my firm due to this vulnerability. Yes, I have told most that I have a 6 month old. When I first started this job, my son was knee deep in the 4 month sleep regression. And while it has been 2 months, I feel like I blinked and I still have so much to learn. Anyway, I feel like this has become somewhat of a vent session. Can anyone relate to this? Do I just need to suck it up?

Hey there!!! Did you travel anywhere during maternity leave that you would recommend? If so - tell me about it!!! I have a 3 year old as well. My husband gets leave and will split it up to align with travel plans. Not worried about passport turn around time because I live next to a same day passport office.

Edit: Just to be clear I get a long leave. I’m not planning to leave the hospital and get on a plane. lol. Nor am I planning to go prior to vaccines.

I’m a senior associate at an elite boutique litigation firm in a VHCOL city. For 5ish years, have always gotten glowing reviews and my life was pretty dedicated to work. 2 years ago, I had a baby and coming back was rough, my work definitely slipped a bit but reviews stayed very strong. 6 months ago, I had a very bad 3-4 months at work because of a grueling case that involved several last-minute cross country trips, fire drills, surprise filings etc. In the midst of it, I suffered a pregnancy loss that I at least partly blame on myself and the stress/sleepless nights at work. Had to have a procedure and apparently woke up from anesthesia crying not about the pregnancy loss, which devastated me, but about how much I hated my job.

Fast forward to today, and I just feel completely lost on what my next step should be. There are so many things I actually do love about my job, but I can’t stop thinking about leaving. I’ve gotten offers to go in-house and chicken out because of the pay cut, which would require significant lifestyle changes and putting our son in daycare rather than having a nanny. Now I have an offer at an affirmative litigation government job, but have found 100+ reasons that job could suck too. I’ve spent so much time money and effort on my education and building this career and I just feel this nagging sense that all I want is to be home with my children, which, given how I’ve designed my life, I can’t afford. I told a partner I trust that I’m feeling burned out and am considering leaving, and he advised that I go part-time, and stay another year at which point I’ll likely make partner, and I could see if I like that better. If I go that route, I could probably retire early (vs if I take the government job, which is a 65% pay cut).

Not sure what I’m looking for here, but would love to hear if others have similar feelings? Or any advice on finding fulfillment as a lawyer and mom/whether part-time partnership sounds like the move/and what other lawyer jobs people enjoy.

I’m an incoming 1L (Canadian), and my spouse and I are seriously contemplating having a baby in the spring/summer before 2L (conceiving this Fall, basically).

I’ll be 28 this fall, and my partner is 33. I’m not keen on the idea of waiting until I’m established due to our ages but more so because we would like more than one child, so we’d like to get started.

My partner is incredibly supportive and would utilize his paternity leave, being home with the baby for almost the entirety of 2L. We do have family a few hours away who could potentially come stay with us, as well.

We are pretty set on this idea, especially as we have witnessed loved ones struggle with infertility/conceiving issues. We know that there is no best time.

I’d really appreciate hearing other parents stories of making it through law school successfully with babies or any advice on how to navigate being pregnant during law school. Any success stories of being a high achieving/involved student while also navigating new parenthood?

Thank you in advance!

I got an offer for a transactional job. The only downside is the hours are 9-7, required to be online and working the whole time. No flexibility to step away whatsoever. I have a young child and I’m worried about how this will impact my ability to be there for them/the longevity of a career move like this for my family. My current job requires me to work outside 9-5 hours (litigation) but I get to work them late at night or early mornings and can log off around 5 every day. Is this common in transactional work? Looking for advice from other moms on what they’ve done/would do in this situation.

I’m relocating to Los Angeles and starting at an AmLaw 50 firm. I’m currently 11 months pp and plan to start weaning at 1 year, but I know that’s a slow process. Since I know I’m only legally entitled to pump breaks till I’m 1 year pp, how does requesting breaks look beyond that mark? I want to avoid mastitis and the hormone crash.

I’m new to this subreddit. So glad I found it though. Here is my situation. I’m in insurance as an Account Executive/Account Manage for close to 12 years. The job is pretty demanding, working 10hrs per days with lots of customer services and negotiation. Clients are needy because of the soft market. I'm fine with all of that except the pay. The job itself doesn’t pay super well, like $80k plus bonuses. However, I managed to have multiple contracts in the same industry which make my earning close to $200k ish. I wfh 100%. I don’t think I could continue doing this job in the next 30 years or so. The upside is limited unless I want to become a broker or underwriter. There’s no independence because I always service someone else’s book of business.

I want to go to law school for a better career trajectory. I’m 35 ( not sure if I’m too old for kaw school) and have 1 toddler. She will go to preschool in the next few months. OAD so no more kids. As of right now, I don’t plan to take out a loan. My undergrad GPA is 3.95. The local law school is T80. They might offer scholarships but I don’t count on it. Haven’t started LSAT. I want to stay in the insurance industry as a legal counsel or risk management. I don’t have a clear perspective about life after law school. Are there a lot of opportunities out there for lawyers in insurance? How’s the carrier trajectory in the next 15-20 years? I don’t want to spend $200k out of my pocket and end up go back to the same job I’m doing right now because I have no choices. Law school is expensive and requires works as well as some sacrifices. I was daydreaming about early retirement because I’m not happy with my jobs. In the long term, I want more flexibility and stability with a legal job. Am I being unrealistic here? TIA.

I’m in the middle of interviewing to lateral to a demanding but better firm and I just found out I’m pregnant. I’m frustrated with the timing but obviously have to prioritize my family planning (and of course we want to grow our family). I feel bad that I have to essentially end this interview process because I feel like I’ve wasted their time (even though this certainly wasn’t intentional). Should I let them know about my situation and ask to revisit the conversation after my maternity leave? The problem is that I feel like this was the prime moment for me to lateral and I might be too senior for them next year. It really is a great opportunity and I’m just bummed the timing didn’t work out this year. What would you do in this situation? Looking for advice and opinions, thank you in advance.

I’m looking ahead to returning from maternity leave back to my job where I’ll be in court at least 3x per week for several hours. Have any moms out there who are constantly in court managed to consistently pump? Any advice? Or reflections on whether you found pumping worth the logistical hassle? I’m feeling really torn and nervous about this!

I just got a new position at a firm that is a big step up from my old firm. I went through multiple interviews without disclosing that I have children. I have signed the offer, did the background check, and have a start date next week. HR just asked for personal info for my new hire profile. Hobbies, interests, etc. My two kids are a big part of my life, but is now the time to disclose that to everyone?