r/MST3K

I'm assuming the reason there are so few godzilla episodes is due to Toho being kind of stingy with the rights. However in recent years Godzilla has been in a ton of crossover content. He's appeared in Marvel and DC comics. He had a crossover with the Power Rangers and TMNT. He's also appeared in a ton of video games from big franchises like COD and Fortnite to smaller titles like Gigabash and Dave the Diver. I guess my question is, why haven't they done a major tie in with MST3K yet? A mini season with like 3-4 episodes would be amazing and be a natural fit for both Godzilla and MST3K. I just feel with all these random crossovers Toho is skipping the most obvious one.

Experiment #7

Episode 1002: Girl in Gold Boots

Rewatch Date: February 18, 2023

Somebody better be here tomorrow, or you won’t be working in this town again…Baby!

I saved Girl in Gold Boots last from Volume 4 of the MST3K DVD collection. It had a bikini-clad dancer on the cover so I assumed it was something that might raise eyebrows. I was right. It was an interesting ender. A solid season 10 episode.

An invitation into the wacky world of Ted V. Mikels, Girl in Gold Boots is a 1969 musical-movie. It details the troubled lives of three people. Michelle works at the local EAT with her drunken, abusive father. One day, a drifter named Buzz enters her life. He promises to whisk her away from her dreary diner life to Los Angeles, and help her get a career as a dancer. Along the way, they meet another drifter named Critter. Critter is a guitar player hoping to make his way in the world. But he has a secret: he’s a deserter. The trio arrive in LA at The Haunted House lounge where they meet Buzz’s sister, Jodie. Jodie is the main dancer who wears the titular Go-owld Boots. Jodie promises Michelle work at club. But things quickly devolve as Michelle is exposed to the seamy underbelly of L.A. (I’m as shocked as you are that Hollywood has such a scene.) Buzz and the club owners get involved in LSD trafficking, Michelle goes to one of those wild L.A. parties and tries some of that wacky tobacky and Jodie has a bad reaction to the drugs she’s using. Reformed draft-dodger Critter saves the day and learns the joys of fighting in a senseless war.

Girl In Gold Boots is one of the few non-science fiction movies featured during the Sci-Fi channel era (I think Final Justice is the only other one.) It was directed by Ted V. Mikels. Mikels is famous for his exploitation films. I’m not sure what message he was trying to get across with this film. Should I give up my songwriting dreams, quit my janitorial job and go to Vietnam? I read an article in SCREEM Magazine where Mikels was interviewed and asked about MST3K. I’m not allowed to read the magazine because it violates the rules of my experiment. But, if I recall correctly, he really enjoyed the MST3K treatment. Though I’m told the actress who played Jodie did not enjoy the MST3K treatment and the mocking of her “I had a pretty mind!” speech. I can understand that.

This is the kind of drive-in movie you drag your late 1960s girlfriend to, but only because you have a car and she doesn’t want to deal with family that night. You see the opening shot with all of the go-go dancers thinking you’re in for an erotic treat. But after that, you quickly realize that the movie isn’t going to have the number of girls in bikinis as you would want. Then, you just make out with your girlfriend until the next scene with dancing in it begins (assuming she hasn’t gotten out of the car and shacked up with the football player in the next spot over.)

This episode has some great riffs. When we first meet Critter, he asks for “ten Hershey bars.” Crow brilliantly chimes in with “Tin Hershey bars! Won’t those be hard to eat?” Critter also has with him some Nepalese currency, “From the land of ‘Nipple’!” I love clever wordplay and those are two of the best instances in history. Buzz robs a gas station (poorly) and reads about his crime the next day in the newspaper. He’s excited to see that his robbery has made the front page. “Yeah, Front Page of the LA Times: ’$40 Robbery, No One Seriously Injured’.” Don’t be too harsh on him though. As Pat McCormick’s less successful brother notes, he is “just a boy”. Despite his boydom, Buzz does have some talents. Like randomly teleporting into restaurant booths. Fun fact about the teleportation scene: It only occurs in the Peter Rodgers copy of the film. If you watch/buy any of the other versions available on home video, it shows Buzz clearly standing up and walking to the table. Also, he’s an icky elf.

The sketches in this one aren’t all winners. I love the sketch with Crow’s “What Would Buffy Sainte-Marie Do” bracelet (Marry Jack Nitzsche, I assume.) Mike’s “I am Sad” song is a classic. The rest of the sketches aren’t very good. This episode is infamous for introducing the short-lived, Sci-Fi Channel-mandated “Institute of Mad Science” subplot. It only lasts 4 episodes. Once the show was cancelled, I don’t think Best Brains felt the desire to keep up with a plot they didn’t want. It does have two lines I love to quote, “Shut up and die, fathead” and “Not even fit for a guest spot on ‘Beakman’s World.’”

When I first saw this episode as a 13-year-old, I didn’t enjoy it. Then, I rewatched it a few months later and was on the floor. My friend DJ would quote this episode all the time. I don’t know why, but I think my mom would like this episode. I’m grateful for Girl in Gold Boots. It’s a fun episode. This latest rewatch really helped me feel better about my day. Thanks, non-acquaintance movie who inexplicably gave me a ride in your dune buggy!

What are your thoughts on this episode? Were you worried that young boy was in too far over his head? Did you ever have someone pour beer on your motorcycle? Has a giant, silent, omnipotent woman ever inspired you to write a song? Let me know in the comments below.

To remind everybody, this is part of my experiment where I’ll be watching a different MST3K episode, every Saturday, until I’ve watched all 176 episodes of the show’s original run in the exact order that I watched each episode for the first time (with 3 or 4 liberties taken). I will be consuming NO MST3K outside these viewings until this experiment is over. Crazy I know. We shall see what come what may. Will I crack? Will I make it? Will I ever figure out what makes this show so great? Keep reading and find out. Next week, I will be watching the 8th MST3K episode I ever saw. It will remain a secret til then. The clue I will give is ‘Corman’. Til then, thank you for reading and Keep Circulating the Tapes.

7 Down, 169 to go

On Tubi. I've only seen it for rent and have held out.

If you’re reading this, you’re almost certainly not doing it alone. Nearly every adult human face carries a population of Demodex folliculorum, a microscopic mite roughly 0.3 millimeters long that spends its entire three-week lifespan living head-first inside human hair follicles, feeding on sebum and dead skin, and emerging only at night to mate on our faces while we sleep, timing that activity to take advantage of the melatonin our bodies release during rest.

What makes these mites unusual is just how completely they depend on us. Humans are literally the mite’s only habitat in existence: they are born on us, feed on us, mate on us, and die on us, and researchers who sequenced the mite’s genome for the first time found it has lost a significant number of genes typically needed for independent survival, alongside having roughly 500 times fewer cells than a fruit fly. That level of genetic and cellular stripping down suggests the mites are moving away from an independent lifestyle entirely, and scientists say they can no longer survive on any other mammal species, or outside human skin at all.

Researchers led by Dr. Alejandra Perotti at the University of Reading argue this points to an ongoing evolutionary shift from a parasitic relationship to a mutually beneficial, symbiotic one, where the mites may actually help keep human pores clear in exchange for a permanent home. Looking further ahead, the scientists behind the study lay out two speculative long-term outcomes: either the mites eventually become unable to reproduce and die off completely, or, in a more remarkable possibility, they continue this dependency trend so far that they become a permanent, internal part of the human body rather than remaining a separate organism living on its surface.

STUDY: https://doi.org/10.1093/molbev/msac125