r/NonZeroDay

Am a 19F I took 2 drops for neet and again when I gave reneet I was mentally exhausted and fucked up and i scored less I never truly liked this field but my parents engraved this mbbs since 9th grade cuz my brother was giving that exam during that time and that thing engraved something in my brain and it fixated that if I do mbbs I will eveyhting i want the freedom and the life I want so I didn't and never looked into other fields nor did my parents told me or reassure that if mbbs nai hua kuch aur karle for some tasalli but I agree this 2 drops was my biggest mistake and my mental health is so fucked I keep crying almost everyday now and my parents told me to whether to join the college(which I don't like why I don't like is it is very near to my house and my parents are very controlling for what I do what I where who I talk to or where I go evrything almost eveyhting is their decision the clothes I wear is their liking never mine and they always fight so often since childhood i always lived in a super toxic environment and all i crave is freedom) they only suggest the college which are near so I will be under their control and the only one affordable option is tier 3 college near my place so I fought and i said i will take a 3rd drop and get a decent college which would be better and am sorry I do love my parents but this time I wanna decide and take steps for my life,ik 3rd drop is a hard decision but I wanna have freedom a nice and normal student life I have wasted and exhausted and I never had a day off where I could truly feel a little normal but a endless cycle of stress and worry eveyday.

I feel like I’m just drifting. Everyone around me seems to be figuring life out switching jobs, growing, making connections and here I am, stuck in a routine I don’t even like.

I’m trying to shift jobs, but nothing’s working out. And to be honest… I don’t even like what I do. It doesn’t excite me. I’m not growing. I feel disconnected from it like I’m just forcing myself to get through each day.

And the people around me? I don’t connect with them either. I don’t feel seen or understood. It’s this constant feeling of being out of place, like I’m living someone else’s life. I know I should be grateful for having a job at all, but I can’t help feeling miserable in it.

I don’t know where I’m going, or if I’m even moving forward at all. Everyone tells you to “figure it out,” but what if nothing feels right?

Just needed to put this out there in case anyone else is feeling the same. Or has felt like this and somehow made it through. I’m trying… but right now, it just feels really heavy.