r/SeasonalAffective

I’m sorry in advance if this is a stupid post. I live in California and it’s currently still 100° out and very sunny (we haven’t hit 5pm sundown yet) but I’m already getting that pit feeling in my stomach. I’ve had it since the end of August when my courses resumed. I don’t know how to describe the feeling other than a pit, it’s like some sort of anxiety. It feels like the beginning of an ending in some way. I feel like this constant sad tension in my body. I don’t know. I’ve struggled with SAD for years but I feel like it’s setting on much earlier for me this year. Any advice on how to cope.

Does anyone else just suddenly get a really physical reaction when the season changes? Just instantly get dread in the pit of their stomach and almost sick with anxiety?

I feel like people think SAD is like “oh I don’t like winter so now I’m unhappy because I’d rather it be summer” as though it’s a preference / taste thing, rather than just a deeply physical gut reaction.

I feel so desperately tense and sad today even though the sun is shining and I love the idea of darker nights and cosying up inside, but my body is like… Nope.

For me, it’s an inherently physical/ bodily reaction that all the positive framing and thinking couldn’t change.

I don’t know how I’m meant to get through the next few months.

As soon as it has hit October yesterday I’m feeling so down. I live in the UK and the clocks go back in 3 weeks so we are going to loose even more daylight.

I can’t help but look around at the trees, plants etc and notice them dying. So many people are able to embrace this, I really can’t. I hate it.

I started light therapy a few weeks ago, and I've found having them in the places I'm likely to be in the mornings has been crucial to compliance.

I have:

1 at my home desk for my work from home day

1 at my work desk for the rest of the week

1 free standing lamp at my sofa for weekend mornings

There's just always one where I need it vs needing to shuttle the one or two I own around. Hoping it makes a big impact for me!