My son claimed that my husband hit him and my husband denied it. Now he wants a divorce
I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/Sad_Knee_6060
Originally posted to r/Marriage
My son claimed that my husband hit him and my husband denied it. Now he wants a divorce
Trigger Warnings: >!false accusations!<
Original Post: June 22, 2026
My son from previous marriage is 13 years old. I have been married to my husband for 5 years and we have a newborn.
My son said that my husband slapped him and I kinda freaked out. I confronted him and he was confused (at least from his expression). He denied it vehemently and I kinda was not hearing it. He walked away from me.
After I calmed down after, I talked to him and he said that he didn't hit him and he has no obligation to prove anything. So if I want to be mad, be mad in another room. I did leave.
At night, when I joined him in the bed, he said he wants a divorce. He said that my son lied and he doesn't care why he lied. Whether he is jealous of him or want me for himself, he is not interested in finding out. He doesn't wanna deal with it and he doesn't want to be accused of something he didn't do. So he is out.
Here is the thing, I talked to my son in detail, and he is being evasive, defensive and I am seriously doubting him, but I do have the obligation to protect him..
Did I destroyed my marriage for nothing? What should I do? How do I know the truth. If my son lied than I need to deal with him and I am gonna be talking to him again and getting full story.
But my husband? He just left. I was not gonna leave him over just one slap without knowing the full story. He has never shown aggression towards him or anyone. I would have tried other methods first. Is that bad? Am I a bad mom for it that I didn't jump to divorce straight away?
I have tried to talk to my husband, but he basically said that he doesn't want to be painted as a bad person. It's not like he can prove his innocence. So he would rather not wait for another false accusation and just protect himself
Editor's note: OOP did not leave any comments in the original post
Top Comments
Commenter 1: Yea he didn’t go nuclear over just this one incident. You’ve probably done this before and he’s not willing to lose his freedom over a false accusation. I don’t blame him either. You either get your kid help or loose a good man, but it seems like you already have. > > Commenter 2: Not necessarily but this is the kind of wakeup call that only needs to happen once. > > If the kid is willing to falsely accuse him of this (if truly a false accusation) what else is he willing to accuse the husband of? > > People's lives have been ruined by accusations like that, and nobody wants to feel like they have to be on guard in their own home.
Commenter 3: I get the husband's side. People go to jail or prison over false accusations all the time and if I thought I might get put away because someone fibbed, I'd bounce too. You pointed out he's not an aggressive person. You can't blame him for wanting to protect himself. > > Commenter 4: Plus if the kid gets away with it this time, the lies will just get more and more extreme. The husband is right to get out now.
Commenter 5: So your husband who never shown signs of being violent was accused by your 13 y old son, who according to you is evasive, and the first thing you did was to be aggressive on your husband instead of talking to him and not give him the benefit of the doubt.
And you can't understand why he wants a divorce?
Next time that your son (now that he sees that you act first and ask questions second) tells you he hit him again or worse, you will again back up your son without any hesitation or proof and he will end up in jail.
Your husband is protecting himself, and rightfully so given he has a kid to take care and 0 support or trust from you.
Commenter 6: All it takes is one false accusation to ruin someone’s life. My stepdaughter once accused us of doing drugs while we were in the middle of a nasty custody battle and it derailed our lives for months and cost us quite a bit of money. Were we innocent? Absolutely, and testing proved it but that could have cost us our jobs and could have cost me my kids if my ex didn’t know me as well as he does. It had a lasting impact on our family and there is still distrust and uneasiness.
So, yeah… your husband is choosing himself and I don’t blame him. You didn’t sit them both down and ask what happened, you jumped to accusing him. If his own spouse doesn’t care to find out the truth before making a snap judgement, why should he stay?
Update: June 23, 2026 (next day)
I questioned my son again and he admitted to lying. He has never acted out this way and he is crying now. I am still processing it and figuring it out.
I apologised to my husband, and he accepted it but made it clear that he has no interest in living with my son. So he is gonna leave and wants equal custody for our 10 month old, who is still breastfeeding btw. So I was against it
He basically told me that either I just agree or he will take me to court. He would rather not spend the money on lawyers, but he will bankrupt both of us if he is forced to. Which has happened to one of our neighbor.
So I am pissed, sad and angry. I have reported your DMs, and I am gonna keep reporting if you keep harassing me.
For people who were nice to me, thank you for it. My life is completely destroyed and nothing I can do about it
Editor's note: OOP did not leave any relevant comments in the update
Top Comments
Commenter 1: I can’t blame him. If he stayed, he’d be forever living in fear of your lying son doing it again and you flying off the handle and taking his side without getting the info first. He’s making the right choice to protect himself. Your son’s lies and you blindly siding with him could literally jeopardize his future with his biological child as well if he was wrongly convicted of abuse.
Commenter 2: Something tells me this is the last straw in a long line of things your son has done. Get a lawyer and get your kid the help he needs.
Commenter 3: Husband is right to leave to protect himself. You were right to question him and protect your son.
It's just a shitty situation for both of you, This seems to be unpopular from the comments I have read but I don't believe you deserve the harassment you are receiving.
Commenter 4: Congrats to your husband. I wish him all the best.
If I could, I’d pay for all the beers at the bar for him to celebrate.
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