r/alchemy

Anyone?

I have always been fascinated by human biology. I was especially fascinated by hormones since those seemed to effect almost every aspect of human biology. I began to recognize masculinity as the highest order. My search for now understanding masculinity led me to look at a metaphysics of human nature and most prominently alchemy. I have realized that the goal of alchemy of purifying lesser elements in order to obtain gold mirrored on a biological level obtaining masculinity by purifying it from lesser feminine influences. And I am not just talking I was actually able decrease my estradiol (female hormone) to <13 sth level and testosterone (male hormone) to above 850 sth level. I am at a level in which I don't even enjoy sexuality but I am struggling to arrive at a level of pure male principle of pure hatred and will. Should I accomplished that my testosterone level would further increase.

So what do you think about the possible metaphysical acquirement of pure male principal?

Hi, I hardly ever remember my dreams and I was wondering if this one could be significant.

I have been studying witchcraft and exploring spirituality in many forms for a couple years now, but I don’t know anything about alchemy at all. I also have a hard time visualizing and dreaming.
But last night I had a very articulated and long dream about me going on a trip with a group of alchemists. I only had a bag that I used to carry a black cat, which was somehow comforting me and pushing me to go on this journey.

I wonder if there is some sort of significant symbolism in this? And do you have any reliable resources that could help me understand if I should learn about alchemy?

The last time I had watched porn before yesterday was back in august, a few days before my birthday which is on the 30th. For a month I had this feeling of idk like I left porn back in the time when i was 22 and was feeling good knowing I havent watched it in my current age, till yesterday when I relapsed and now im feeling shit about it. Its not just regular guilt, its worse feeling that I watched it again even though I had not done it since before my birthday.

Im curious to know what you all think of these feelings. Im very very new to concepts of alchemy and magics. I know porn might be bad for me physically. But I really wanna know if these thoughts are related to alchemy somehow or are they just mental problems and overthinking whatnot?

I genuinely want to discuss about this topic. I would love if you all could give some input.

(Edit: I forgot to add, i really have felt a change in the flow state i was feeling or the overall energy I had before I had watched porn. Right now im feeling really perfectionistic about all this and trying to get my flow state back but unable to. Im worried if all this will have a negative impact on my life alchemically.)

(Edit 2: OMG! Starting to realize this sub might not be for spiritual alchemy. Im seeing way too many posts having flasks and brewing stuff.)