r/canceledpod

*Tana starts the episode in a staged messy hotel bed in Vegas. She goes on a bug tangent about her mental health filled with her favorite therapized buzzwords and diagnoses. Cortisol, fight or flight, Trauma, dopamine, ADHD, OCD, Anxiety,
Frontal lobe, etc. Tana says she is going to her psychologist weekly and mentions she is on Klonopin now (A new benzo to add to her pill mix, great)

*Tana literally says the “Things I have to do to get in the shower is a hate crime” ( This is a new insufferable bit she has where she compares her struggles to being a victim of a hate crime.)

*The pity party is just getting started. Tana is really feeling so sorry for herself and how she is just struggling so much with all of her wealthy woman problems but she has decided for the first time in her life she is going to put herself first because for so long she has been busy taking care of everyone else. (Yes, I crackled she said this and I called again when I wrote this paragraph. When in the history of Tana has she ever put anyone else first??)

*Tana has decided she is going to hold hands with her need for escapism because she has been working so hard at her career and self improvement that she has not been taking the time to have fun. She really needs the dopamine so she is allowing herself to vape, shop, gamble, and travel. ( I don’t know how she can say this with a straight face. She was just following Noah Kahan on tour.)

*She is so proud of herself for curbing going to Vegas for an entire month

*More airport/flight complaining (Why do influencers always complain about traveling? It is so unfunny and not interesting)

*Tana talks about the celebrity poker tournament. The adderall must have hit because she is just motor mouthing about the celebrities at the tournament and glitching with TikTokisms. At one point she references the Jake Paul era as her Pauling out. She met Terrell Owens, and he told her he was a famous pickleball player so the whole night she was asking him to teach her how to play pickleball and she didn’t find out until later that he is actually a famous ex-NFL player (This is fucking funny to me)

*Tana talks about her love of poker and says she is Hitler to play poker (she loves edgelord maxing)

*Calls her interview with Zach Justice a hate crime (I know I said this in a comment on another post but I will reiterate it. Tana, this is why it isn't funny or “interesting from a psychological standpoint” to platform Incels. They hate women and people joking about them slowly emboldens and normalizes their behavior.)

*She had dinner with Holly Madison (ew) at Carbone and got to go out on the Carbone boat at the Bellagio fountain (honestly looks like fun minus the company)

*More self praising for overcoming sooo much and healing her inner child (so tired of this on repeat)

*Tana texted David Spade and got on the guest list to his show with Nikki Glaser. Tana says she relates to Nikki so much and wants a career like hers. (Delusion) Says she relates to David Spade so much (huh?)

*They were gambling and ran into the guy who left her at the Red Rock. Says she found out why he left her at the Red Rock and it was because she was posting to TikTok on Snapchat in her bed three days after she had said I love you to him. (I have no idea what this explanation means. If someone can decode this let me know)

*Tana was so exhausted from going to multiple casinos in Vegas and goes on a weird tangent about people demagnetizing hotel key cards by putting them next to their phones and having to walk thousands of steps back to the lobby to get a new card (she really can and will find anything to complain about)

*Long tangent about Burning Man and how much she hates it. She wants to dress up as Bethenny Frankel at Burning Man for Halloween.

*Larping! It’s one of Tana’s favorite new words to use incorrectly. She larped as a DJ and feels she was a DJ in a past life. She says she wants to be a DJ now (nope)

*Talks about wanting to go to medieval times later (Same sister! Never been but would love to go)

*Teases doing future shows about touring mansions in LA and her show at Texas Christian University, or interviewing people who are specialists in “fields of the mind” (Please don’t. Nobody wants to hear you complain about mansion shopping or hear an interview with some pseudo psychology healer. Please no!)

*Makoa was surfing in San Diego while Tana was in Vegas. (interesting)

*Tana fans out about Lindsay Clancy’s lawyer. Says she wants to get a manicure with him and that his kids must love him. (She does realize that three tiny children were strangled to death by their mentally ill mother, right?! Like, I am glad we are addressing PPD and PPP but it is just tragic all around and to laugh and fangirl over anyone in this situation is depraved)

*More Adderall stream of consciousness about Charli D'Amelio, Ken Eurich, Hayden Panitierre.

I hope you all enjoyed this bonkers BS breakdown!

*Apologies for the typos 😑

If you all don't already know I have PhD in Girls Next Door and Girls Next Level so this breakdown is full of sassy commentary and calling out Holly’s BS.

*This episode was literally recorded four months ago. For context, they reference Tana and Trish hoping to book a Vegas show so this was before they even announced their disastrous show.
They are filming in a bed at the Wynn after Tana was unbanned and they talk about eating a pickle pizza. (The pickle pizza has been on my mind for months and it sounds so good and I am bummed I couldn't get one the last time I was in Vegas)

*They talk about the Vegas climate and Tana compliments Holly's skin. Holly attributes it to sunscreen use and growing up in Alaska (Holly’s skin looks great because she has regular laser treatments, Botox, filler, neck lift, and lower facelift. Sunscreen is important but let's not act like this is normal.)

*Holly talks about losing her Rolex at Circus Circus while staying there to explore some closed-off “haunted”
part of the hotel ( This story is so
Strange and doesn't really make sense)

*Tana brings up Zak Bagans, Holly’s ex and favorite subject to talk about. They talk about his lame museum. Holly brings up Zak talking shit about her to girls he “cheated” with. He told one girl that Holly was obsessed with him and wouldn't accept that their relationship was over. He said he felt sorry for her and insinuated that she was “handicapped” ( Zak is gross
but Holly IS straight up obsessed with him. If you all don't know the lore. They have been broken up for years at this point.He would never publicly claim her, never even met her kids, and acted like an all-around fuckboy for years yet Holly still stayed with him despite being in her mid forties and arguably having enough life experience to know better. She talks about him every single week on her podcast despite having a new relationship with an equally douchey guy. At this point it is giving mentally unhinged)

*Holly talks about her ex and her kids' names which are Rainbow and Forest. Says she originally wanted to name her son Dragon (I am all for weird names but Dragon is horrible)

*They talk about Holly's true crime
show. ( Holly loves to make money off of vulnerable women just like Hef)

*Holly brings up Criss Angel and says her kids went to one of his shows and thought he was lame. She says she is scared for the day they find out that she dated him ( Holly’s favorite subject is talking about most of her exes. She dated Criss Angel
for 6 months 20! Years ago and still regularly talks shit about him. If I dated Criss Angel I would do everything in my power to make people forget about that horrible decision)

*Tana talks about men who want to f**k their moms ( really don't need to hear about this topic again)

*Holly talks about her decision to leave the mansion and she has a new story now. For years she has said that she decided to leave Hef when IVF didn't work out. Now she is saying that her final straw was Hef asking Kendra to sit closer to him at movie night and getting pissed when she didn't want to because he “loved the drama” (Holly is a pathological liar. It's funny that Tana claims to be such a fan and close
Friend of Holly’s but always seems
Clueless to her Playboy origin story)

*Holly talks about her other obsession, Crystal Harris, Hef’s widow, and her campaign to stop Hef’s scrapbooks full of nudes from being made public. Holly is mad because Crystal is getting credit for doing something that Holly thought of first. ( Holly and Bridget are horrible to Crystal weekly on their podcast. They call her “Krusty” and display the worst mean-girl bully behavior.)

*Holly talks about her beef with Kendra and blames it on the producer of their shows ( Holly is always a victim. Never takes any responsibility for the shit storms she causes and then pretends like she doesn't know why nobody ever likes her)

*They talk about Vegas shows and Holly says her favorites are Carrot Top and the empire strips back ( you would have to pay me to go to a Carrot Top show)

*Holly talks about her new podcast which consists of her interviewing “biohacking” grifters, strippers, and super young OF/BOP house girls ( This is why Holly sucks as a human. She has spent decades talking about the trauma she endured being a young sugar baby at the Playboy mansion and the stigma that has followed her around. Yet she promotes seeking arrangements and fangirls over teenage OF models. Glamorizing and promoting the same system she claims traumatized her.)

This is the worst podcast opener I have ever encountered. I do not want to diminish the absolute absurdity of this BS statement by summarizing it so I have included it in its entirety. She literally put DELAYED in the episode title as well which is diabolical!!!

“This episode of Brand Safe has been delayed due to the birthday of our prized employee, Kyle Barber. Nothing happens without Kyle Barber. Literally, nothing happens without him.

If we didn't have Kyle Barber, this podcast would be shot on a blender and edited with a toe. We hope wherever you are, you are celebrating Kyle Barber. Seriously, sorry it's late, but like who was gonna edit it?

You know what I mean? It's just, it's Kyle or no one, you guys, and he only gets one day off a year. Like, it's just like, it's the one day, and I'm like, it's here now, and we love you guys, and we hope you had an amazing Labor Day weekend, and we are very, very sorry for the delay to all of our Brand Safers, and we will see you next weekend.”

(Wow, so much deflection on Kyle for her poor planning and production. Take responsibility, Tana. A truthful statement should be “ Sorry this week's episode is late. I cannot stick to a schedule and refuse to hire professionals that will help me stick to a schedule. I purposely hire people who will enable my unprofessional and self-destructive behavior because it is easier than doing the work to overcome my trauma and take accountability for my actions. Nothing is ever my fault and I will stoop so low as to use my employee's birthday as an excuse for my poor time management that resulted in my work being submitted late. Sorry im not sorry about it! )

*Birkins! They talk about their Birkins and Isabella's bday (So relatable)

*Isabella suggests they start a channel
Called moookbang because they love to
Eat and moo at each other (I am not mad about this idea )

* Tana's dad would lie to Isabella's parents when she would spend the night at her house and say they would be staying in (So fucked up of any parent to act like this.)

* Isabella's mom started dating a pastor who was a cop (yikes!)

*Tana was a youth leader at church (wow)
Isabella lied to her parents and said she was becoming a youth leader at church with Tana and her mom figured it out because Isabella’s mom went to the church they didn't know her (this was a funny teen story)

*Tana asks Isabella what she remembers of Tana’s household. Isabella would bring food to Tana’s mom to make sure she was eating. They talk about the time Tana’s dad threw a barstool and Isabella threw it back at him. (dark)

*Tana talks about her success before she was 18 on YouTube and was making enough money to rent a townhouse in Las Vegas and Tana's mother lived with them. Because Tana wasn't 18 her parent still had control over her bank accounts and would constantly cut off access to her own money as a form of control. Tana’s mom would chain-smoke in the townhouse and refuse to go on the balcony (This is wild. Tana’s parents suck)

*Isabella and Tana had a falling out in 2019 and did not live together or talk to each other. (It sounds like typical teenage friend drama that happens when you are roommates.)

*Isabella calls out Tana for never wearing socks when they were younger and how she wouldn't let her borrow her shoes (Literally, how did it take multiple people to convince Tana to finally wear socks with shoes?! Does she not have a sense of smell?)

*Tana says that she and Isabella both have OCD, PMD, anxiety, and Depression. Tana says their neurons were shot from them drinking 6 shots of espresso daily.(every week there is a new diagnosis to blame her bad behavior on)

*Tana talks about one of her first exes who was controlling

*They yap about typical teen shenanigans they got into.

*Tana tangents about how they have overcome so much and how amazing they are to have survived (Listen, I am not negating anyone's childhood trauma but at a time when children are not surviving until their teens due to genocide it feels gross to act like they have overcome insurmountable circumstances to survive)

*There were a lot of the same tanaisms
In this episode, I don't feel like going over them because they are topics that have been talked about to death. Anxiety, frontal lobe, influencers influencing, narcissistic parents, growth etc

I looked in this sub and I don’t know if things got deleted but I can’t find much…

Why was Jeff ambushing Tana with Todd Smith so bad? I’ve seen people speculate that’s why her and Jeff are no longer friends.

hi ladies ✨✨

i had the craziest, funniest dream of my fucking life last night involving brooke 😭😭

for background, i take hydroxyzine for panic attacks. i took some last night and was sleeping away.

in the dream, brooke invited me over to her house but cancelled and then kept cancelling on our friends repeatedly?? eventually, she had a break down and told us all that she had the d**d bodies of 250 men just chilling in her basement and thats why she had been so absent 😂😭
then i remember being in court and testifying against her and i was so scared i woke up in a pool of my own sweat and crying.

thank you, and goodnight 🙂‍↕️💕