r/microwedding

I am a bride on a budget, my fiancé and I are hoping to get married next june but I’m at a loss with the venue options here in Northern Utah. Everything seems to be super expensive or doesn’t allow for the number of guests (only 38) air bnb doesn’t allow parties and I’m at my wits end to figure out vrbo. If anyone has ANY advice I would take it gladly, not just for venue but for decore caroling/food options and perchance a photographer 🥹 (we are also not LDS so churches are a nonstarter)

Edit:
These replies are way more split than I thought they’d be haha. I truly thought everyone would call me the asshole.

I was thinking how awkward and out of place I’d feel as a guest in such an intimate setting where I barely knew anyway. But I failed to realize that not everyone is like me. I’ll be reaching out to my friend personally to see what she wants to do as I’d really like to keep her as a friend. Thank you!!

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Original post:
Question about how rude I’m being. My fiancé and I are having a wedding in 2 months with a guest count of about 15 people. The guest list includes only immediately family, grandparents, and a few very close friends. Aunts, uncles, and cousins didn’t get an invite due to our budget and venue constraints as inviting extended families would likely increase our guest list to 50 people.

The 3 friends we are inviting are close to both of us (the bride and groom) as well as each other. We’ve been a tight knit friend group for over 10 years since high school and have known all of them since middle school. None of our three friends are married but one is in a long term relationship, we have met her boyfriend twice.

We didn’t give our friends a plus one because it seemed rude to allow people we barely know/don’t know at our wedding while turning around and not inviting our aunts, uncles, and cousins. Also, they all live in state so none of them would have to travel far without a partner. And since the 5 of us are all friends, I was thinking they’d still be comfortable at the event since they’d have their other friends there.

Is this logical or am I being rude to not give our friends plus ones? Invitations have gone out but it’s not too late to reconcile if need be imo

Well, I am officially a fiancé as of yesterday morning! I'm in my late 30s and spent my life operating under the belief that I did not want to/would not ever marry - so I'm definitely out of my depth here!

I know I want a winter wedding (late February) with only our nearest and dearest, which will come in < 30 guests. I know that's only five full months away so I have to work fast. I've reached out/am waiting to hear back from a couple of venues because I can't plan anything else without a time and place. We'd love to find an upscale, all-inclusive venue that is more-or-less designed for the size of our guest list (I hate the idea of feeling sparse in a large space).

I can pretty much see what I want in my mind's eye but... I have no idea how to put that together. Like, neither of us drink and only a few of our guests would maybe want a single glass of wine or a beer - so we definitely don't need a bartender or event a beverage package. I also have a photographer picked out (known her my whole life, have had several small sessions with her over the years), so I don't know how that would interfere with included photography sessions. I also don't particularly care about a floral package, except maybe my own bouquet (which, honestly, I'm considering creating out of LEGO). Oh, and we're not having a bridal party, don't care about a DJ, but we DO want our guests to eat VERY well and be merry.

My question is this... can I plan something beautiful in six months?

Hi everyone! Looking for some feedback on my wedding schedule.
We are having a wedding of about 50 people at a barn venue on 10/10/26.
I’m in the north eastern United States:
3:00 PM — Ceremony
abt 3:30 PM — Ceremony ends / family + wedding party photos
Ceremony and reception are in the same spot.
3:45 PM — Cocktail hour begins.
We will be taking photos since we are not doing a first look.
4:45 PM — Reception begins
Entrance
First dance
Parent dances
5:05 PM — Dinner buffet
5:45 PM — Toasts
6:45 PM — Cake cutting + dessert
7:00 PM — Dancing
9:00 PM — Grand exit
10:00 PM — Reception ends

My wedding will have open dancing + DJ before dinner.

I’m having a destination wedding celebration in France over 3 full days in May with my family (~45 French + American guests). On the day of the wedding, we plan to all be together starting from breakfast and kicking off drinking festivities early before noon. We want to have the ceremony early (~2 pm) so we can maximize the fun afterwards!

Itinerary:
Noon: buffet lunch for guests + rosé
Noon: bridal party gets ready in parallel (eats lunch separately)
2pm: ceremony
3pm: cocktail hour, book signing
4pm: DJ starts & couples entrance, champagne, first dance, first speech
5pm: highest energy expected here! Bocce ball, cornhole, photobooth, upbeat music, dancing
7pm: seated dinner, red wine
8pm: dessert, final speeches, slow songs
9pm: DJ ends, wind down

Our structure is a bit different from any wedding I’ve been to. Given the ceremony/drinking will start earlier, we don’t want to drag until the very end of the day before partying. The dinner will also be 4 courses so I expect most people to be completely full and exhausted before 9pm. My fiancé and I like to go to bed early anyways so this structure seems to make sense to us and uses the time efficiently.

Feel free to provide opinions! Would love to hear feedback from other couples that decided on a similar structure for their wedding! I can’t wait!

Hey all,

How do/did you deal with the guilt of having a tiny wedding?

My partner and I have been together nearly twenty years and engaged for most of that time. We've decided to finally make it official and have set the date for 3mths time.

We're having a civil ceremony a couple of towns over and will then go for tea somewhere afterwards. We'll probably spend a night in a nice hotel, then go home the next morning.

We've decided not to tell anyone other than my parents and brother and, because my fiance has no immediate family, his oldest friend and his wife. They will be our only guests.

The main reason for this is money - we can't afford anything more than the absolute basics - and if we open it up to even the next tier (closest friends and family), it will already be way more than we can afford.

The other reason is that my fiance and I are both pretty quiet people. The mere THOUGHT of having to plan a big do causes us massive anxiety. We absolutely want to be able to celebrate with our favourite people, but that would mean AN EVENT with us at the centre of it and like, yeah, NAH.

We're torn between being excited and riddled with guilt, because many of our friends have invited us to their weddings and stuff in the past and we don't want them to feel betrayed. At the same time, we also feel relieved at the lack of pressure - we've watched so many other people's weddings turn into an absolute stress pit and drive them nearly insane, which we do not want. EVER.

I also feel sad because I have four or so super close female friends that I would love to share my ideas and planning with. If things were different, I would have them as my bridesmaids in a heartbeat.

Any ideas how I can navigate the guilt and how to go about telling people after the day in a way that emphasises how much we love them?

Hello! I’m getting married at the courthouse with 20 people but have decided to invite 42 people afterwards for food and drinks at a large lounge my apartment complex allows residents to rent for a small fee. It’s not a formal sit down dinner. It’s alcoholic and non alcoholic beverages, a pool table, some floral arrangements/ linens, music for ambiance, a photo backdrop I made myself, tacos, desserts, and a large charcuterie. The lounge itself seats about 30 people (2 bar top tables, 2 four person tables, and multiple over sized couches/ loveseats). I’m planning on bringing in 2 six person folding tables of my own. I’m hoping to build more of a cocktail vibe since it’s only going to be 3 hours long max to account for the lack of formal tables. I’d like to encourage people to move around the space and socialize. My fiancé and I think it’s perfect, but I have this nagging feeling in the back of my mind that it’s rude to have people sit on couches instead of at a table… anyone care to weigh in? Any experience curating this type of party? How do I encourage people to sit at the couches without sounding like I’m letting them “fend for themselves”. I welcome ANY and ALL feedback. Thank you in advance!

My fiancée and I are planning a small civil wedding next month with 35 of our family and close friends. Would it be tacky to have the reception at an AYCE sushi restaurant? 😅

Just want to add that it's not a buffet style. People would get to order what they want from an iPad and it would be delivered to the table. Also, we would be covering the whole bill.

Hey everyone! We are planning our wedding, and I have this vision in my mind that I am really leaning towards, but want to see if it’s a bad idea or not.

The idea is this: have a small ceremony in a floral conservatory, have a catered dinner party style reception at our house, then go out to a bar to see a band play as the “after party.” We’d have less than 25 guests and although it may be a bit tight space wise, we could make it work at our house for sure.

We have a big china and glassware collection, so plates and all that won’t be a problem. We will have to rent tables and chairs, but I’m not too worried about that. Our city is small so travelling between venues wont be a problem, and I love the idea of taking all the time and effort I need to make the vibes immaculate at my house. The only downsides to me are that we will have to clean up after (although we’re considering hiring someone to do that) and that we will have to keep our cats in the basement to make sure they’re not up in everyone’s business. An early dinner is also not the most ideal but it is what it is, and we will probably hit up a breakfast place after the afterparty, haha

Here’s my tentative itinerary:

12:00 - 1:00 - ceremony and photos at Floral Conservatory

2:00 - 3:00 - cocktail hour with appies

3:00 - 3:45 - toasts/extra photos/whatever

3:45 - 5:00 - dinner served and plates cleared

5:00 - 7:00 - cake, dessert and mingling

7:00 - 7:30 - travel to bar for afterparty

Is this crazy?? We have lots of gatherings at our house and I really like this idea, but I don’t know if it is good for anyone else haha. Very curious to hear your thoughts, feedback and ideas!

Edit: I am going to make sure dinner is served later!!! I was worried that if we served dinner at 5, two hours wouldn’t be enough to eat, have cake, let it settle and get out the door by 7 to make it to the show on time. I’ll definitely make that change and appreciate the feedback!

I’m white American, and he and his family are Pakistani (we both come from Christian families, I don’t know if that gives needed context or not). Desi weddings are usually known for being huge. Has anyone ever had a micro wedding where you or your husband/wife/both of you guys have Desi backgrounds? How did you do it? Thank you!!!!

I’m having a wedding ceremony in September in my parents backyard. We’re having \~20 people, all very close friends and family. Timeline is looking like

9am - 11am: Hair and Makeup

12pm: Photos with family, bride and groom, wedding “party”

1/1:30pm: Ceremony
for the ceremony, I am wondering - did others also walk out to music in their backyard? My husband and I are already married (we eloped) and I will be 6 months pregnant, so something about having my dad walk me down the aisle with Canon in D playing sounds kinda cheesy but I don’t want to come out to nothing.

2pm: Drinks and catered lunch, speeches (if any)

6/7pm: BBQ cookout for dinner

Most people are sleeping over. I don’t have much of a “reception” planned, no dancing and whatnot so I’m not too worried about after the ceremony. I’m looking for advice on how to structure the ceremony with it being a backyard ceremony for a pregnant couple. I want it to feel special but not over the top. Any advice, anything I haven’t thought of??

One of my friends I made at summer camp years ago is getting married and I am a bridesmaid. Thankfully I can drive to the wedding and the dress is a very reasonable price. My friend, the bride, is pretty well off and I think most of her friends are too but I don't really know them well at all. I am invited to the bachelorette party and one of the main events of the weekend is an insanely expensive dinner, they said it is like $400 per person!! I didn't know places could be that expensive but I looked it up and that's the price without wine. That's more than my food budget for the month lol!

The maid (matron) of honor sent an email that said she recognizes it's an expensive dinner but wants everyone there and she would pay for anyone who can't afford to be there. I think it's nice but I don't know if I can bring myself to tell her I need to take her up on that offer. What would you guys do?

Edit: OK, it's pretty clear I should swallow my pride. I think I felt weird because my friend isn't actually on this email or inviting me herself so it feels weird to take so much from a "stranger". Several of you are right it is for my friend and I should be there for her. I will text the MOH tomorrow and tell her I would love to attend but would have to take her up on her offer. At some point I am going to pull the MOH aside at some point and tell her thank you and how much I appreciate it.

I am actually more excited for this now that you all have given me some confidence to accept this. It is a mitchelen restaurant so on lists of some of the best in the country. Definitely an experience I won't have any time again.

Hi all,

Me and my partner are planning our wedding and we would love to do it in my home country. Our budget is small and therefore we are trying to plan a beautiful wedding without having to spend a crazy amount of money.

My wish is to invite only closest people, his wish is to invite more people - on his side most people (not his closest) might not come since they'd have to travel to a different country, on my side on the other hand they'll also have to travel from a different country where some of my closest people currently live (although they are originally from this country where we want to get married in) but the extended family on my side lives specifically there and I'm not sure on how to go about it with them specifically: we're not close so I don't necessarily want them at my wedding but at the same time I am up for getting closer and allowing this event to gather us all together especially since for them it will be very easy to come since they wouldn't have to travel.

Thing is that they're a lot of people and I just don't have the money to pay food and drinks for all of them (the reception we have planned is a simple dinner in a local restaurant where the price is on average €50-60 per person).

I thought I could invite them and be honest and say that I cannot afford to pay for all of them so if they're willing to pay for their own menu then it's fine but if not I totally understand and absolutely don't take offence if they don't come, or if they come only to the mass in church and skip reception at the restaurant afterwards.

As much as I think being honest is my go to choice regardless of what they'd think, I also am not sure whether this is the smartest way to go about it. Maybe I should just not invite them? They shouldn't take it bad since we're not close but again we come from a culture where it's good manners to invite everyone despite how close you might be and I want to keep things good with all of them.

Anyone who has found themselves in this same situation or has experience with weddings, what would you recommend we do?

Thank you all for your kind and helpful comments.

Hey all! I had a really beautiful micro wedding elopement/dinner and thought I'd share how I organized it because it everything went really so smoothly and I absolutely just cherish the day/week.

The Elopement - Dec. 21 - $120

My husband and I got officially wed at the courthouse house on a Thursday morning. It was just us and the judge was very surprised it was just us. He kept asking if it was our first marriage and if anyone else was coming lol. It was kinda funny. But it was sweet and intimate and we loved it. The courthouse was located in a strip mall next to dairy queen so of course got a post wedding ice cream to celebrate! He wore khakis and a dress shirt he already owned and I wore a white summer dress I already had. I think we spent $120 total between marriage license and shoes that i got to match my dress.

Regret: we never got a picture of us on this day. We did go home and take one ourselves but we legit look like the couple from the American Gothic painting. Its one of my favorite pictures though!

Mini Moon 12/21-12/23 - $1600 including hotel and food.

After the courthouse we packed up and went to Atlantic City for a couple nights. It was so fun to get away right after and celebrate our first night married away. We went to a really nice dinner at a steakhouse and a bar after with live music. It was a few days before Christmas so the hotel was beautifully decorated. We got a suite with a basically 360 degree view of the ocean and bay and entire city and we got a room that was fully decorated for Christmas. Including mistletoe hung on the bedroom doorway, a hot cocoa bar in the room, 2 Christmas trees, etc. It was so so magical.

Dinner with family - 12/29 - $3500

About a week later after Christmas and before New Year's we had a dinner with just his and my immediate families. It was 16 people total including 3 kids. We booked a private room at a very beautiful old Inn and again was decorated so nicely for Christmas. We had a gorgeous old fireplace in the room. My mom arrived early and met the florist who dropped off my bouquet, my husbands bouttaniere, 4 small centerpieces for the table and flowers for the cake. We got to the restaurant before they opened (around 3 p.m.) and met our photographer. We were able to get a lot of outdoor photos (they had a beautiful property with old stone buildings) before the sun went down, and lots of indoor photos while the restaurant was closed. While photos were going on our guests were arriving. We had passed hors d'oeuvres and drinks for them while they mingled, waited for our couple photos to end and then we got family portraits too. The photographer stayed during the cocktail hour but left when dinner started since we would be just sitting and eating. She was there about 2 hours total.

For dinner the restaurant was ok to let us order off the main menu. Everyone ordered an appetizer, main and dessert. Before appetizers came out the waiter went around and gave everyone their choice of champagne or sparkling cider for the toast. My dad gave a toast. The cake was on display in the room and we got photos of cutting the cake before dinner. Since we ordered dessert off the menu, the restaurant cut the bottom tier into 16 slices and boxed it up for each family to take home. My husband and I took home the top tier to save.

Attire and Makeup

He got a suit at Men's Warehouse - $350

My dress was from Mac Dougall - $300 + $200 alterations

My hair and makeup was done by the person who cuts my hair. I brought my own make up and she applied it for me. - $225

Florals - $800

Photographer - $1200 including editing and photo album

Sorry this is so long, just excited to share my day.

Hi! My partner and I are getting married in a chapel. The chapel does not have a reception area. It’s literally the inside with seats and an area to stand. We will be having 47 Guest. This is immediate family (Parents, Siblings & Grandparents ), plus our aunts and uncles (Who both of us are extremely close too) & 5 friends. Out of the 47 guest 9 are children of family members + My siblings. We both have pretty. All of our family lives around us except one of my aunts who is very excited and I talk to on a frequent basis, she’s traveling to stay up with my grandma.

The problem is, Our “wedding” is essentially going to be a 30 minute ceremony, which is what we wanted. We never wanted a big traditional wedding. The problem is I want to do something with my guest after and am just stressed about what to do. I have 5 siblings attending who are between the ages of 5 & 13 and I am the closest with as their oldest sibling. Im struggling to find something that we can do or go that is child friendly. Im looking for any recommendations or ideas please 🙏

Is it awful to invite people to a very casual reception BBQ and ask them to bring their own booze and protein?

Like ill have sides snacks and dessert they just have to bring whatever they want for their main item. Like steaks or chicken or ribs or burgers or hot dogs.

There will be several BBQs and a kitchen available for their cooking needs.

As for the drinks we will have water, pops, and some juice that people can just drink or use as mix for whatever alcohol they bring.

This is more party than reception , there will be no speeches or dance floor. Just games a fire and friends and family.

There will be like 30 people ish.

Thanks