u/Far_Butterscotch6908

I literally just told my fiancé “I’m built to be a wife but not to be a bride”

I’m just not enjoying the “bridal era.” I don’t like being the center of attention. I don’t like people coming out of the woodwork to ask about wedding plans, ESPECIALLY people who left me high and dry when I was in cancer treatment. I’m mortified I’m never going to find a dress I like/feel comfortable in. I don’t want to navigate questions about the guest list (we’re going VERY micro), venue choice, etc because I just want to DO it and be happy

My fiancé is a saint and so incredibly supportive and understands that I CANNOT WAIT to be his wife but boy am I struggling with the in between time. All of the “tough decisions” like guest list, budget, timeline, vibes were so easy for us to discuss and decide because we’re on the same page about everything and I am so so so happy that he’s not only really involved but also really locked in lol

I know everyone (for the most part) has good intentions and is trying to be excited WITH me, but I just don’t feel as excited as I think I should and then I feel even WORSE about it all!

Anyone else have similar experiences? We’re still over a year out and I’m exhausted (and, admittedly, PMSing at the moment lol)

Please don’t tell me that I shouldn’t be getting married or my relationship is the issue or whatever deductive hurtful thing you want to say, I love this man so deeply and so wholly that I just don’t want the day we CHOOSE each other forever to get clouded by all the other ~stuff~. He is my best friend and the one who got me through some of my toughest times, and I jus can’t wait to be his wife 🥰

We’re doing a micro wedding because I want to elope and my fiancé wanted a big traditional wedding (until the sticker shock of course lol) so this is our compromise. 23 people, upscale restaurant downtown that we love. Very content with that decision.

My sister is insisting on throwing me a bridal shower. I don’t really want gifts (we’re in our 30s and have what we need), so I’m trying to change the vibe to a “luncheon” or “brunch” celebration instead. Not only do I not want gifts, I don’t want people to feel obligated to bring gifts if they aren’t invited to the wedding (part of my beef with wedding culture is how many gifts you’re expected to give a couple between their engagement and wedding so I 100% understand).

Assuming we move forward, would it be tacky to include some sort of “the bride doesn’t want gifts, just wants to celebrate. If you are insistent please consider gifting to their down payment fund” and setting up a house fund on Zola or whatever? I know asking for cash is a traditional faux pas but I feel like it’s not as weird in 2026, ESPECIALLY if I find a way to emphasis it is NOT expected????

Idk how to tell people I don’t want gifts but also give people the space to celebrate because I know it’s important to family.

Edit: thank you all for the feedback! if the event moves forward, we will ask no gifts and possibly a “bring a recipe” or something sentimental as an alternative. appreciate you all taking the time to comment and share 🫶

Hoping to buy in 1-1.5 years (we will be married by then). Combined income of $135k, about $900/month in debt (student loans and medical debt payment plan; will drop to $700 in October due to paying off one set of student loans). My credit score is 780 and my partner’s is 804.

We’ve managed to save 10k in a HYSA in the last 7ish months without really trying too hard (meaning we still go out to eat, we still go to events, etc) and plan to maintain/exceed that in the next 1-1.5 years. We each have about 5-6k saved in our individual saving accounts as well that we regularly contribute to.

We’re looking in the 250-300k range for a house because the taxes in our area are roughly $6500-$8500 a year (woof lol). Hoping we can put 5-8% down and use the rest towards closing/emergency fund specifically for the house.

Any tips you’d recommend for us while we save & prep?? We think we’re going to kind of sail through the rest of summer and then buckle down on saving and cut out some of those luxuries to put more money into our HYSA. I have a part time second job (that I really love!) so we have extra income devoted directed to our house fund.

I have a 5 (almost 6) year old golden with no real pre existing conditions except “allergies” which resolved with switching his food.

I pay $90/month for a $250 deductible/$2000 max benefit at 80% coverage. MetLife just denied a claim for an ear infection, reviewed it, then denied it again and I’m just kind of annoyed. I feel like I’m currently paying for nothing, SPECIFICALLY because the max benefit is only $2000/year. If I can’t even get an acute issue covered, why am I paying for a policy that won’t even begin to cover an emergency/accident which is my main purpose in having insurance.

Wondering if people have better experiences with other companies or if I should just change my policy. If it matters, I could pay up front for a 15k bill with cash/credit cards and be reimbursed later and be okay financially.

I just feel like I need to get better coverage and I’m not sure if I should go with MetLife or another company. I theoretically have MetLife benefits through work but I don’t know if there’s actually any discount.

30F with a hx of 2b melanoma, 2 years (!!!!!) NED.

Went in for a routine follow up (semi annual visit) and a radiologist commented on something in my right breast in my CT results. My oncologist compared the CT to all of my scans from the last 2 years (including my PET) and said it’s grown a little bit, but not a large amount. No other radiologist ever commented on it ever so it’s a random thing.

Anyways. I cried because the idea of doing it all again and needing more procedures is just mentally exhausting. My oncologist seems to be optimistic that’s it’s just a fibroadenoma but I still feel sick to my stomach.

Mammogram and biopsy are on Friday. Can anyone provide some insight as to what to expect? I’ve never had breast imaging as I’m only 30. Trying to avoid the trauma that was a PET scan (no one told me you just sit in a dark room alone for an hour?????) by being better prepared.

Someone talk me down and tell me it’s just from barre/lifting and luteal phase before I unravel 🤪

*30F SW: 218 CW: 191 GW: ??? Dose: 9.9mg*

*Things of note:* mild PCOS (in remission long before starting tirz), cancer treatment in 2024 (caused 10lb weight gain), severe hypothyroidism (TSH remains around 2.5-3 with medication) and mild rheumatoid arthritis as treatment side effects

Eating around 1500 calories a day (not super strict on counting due to OCD/health anxiety; my oncologist and mental health team have advised against logging EVERY meal)

Barre class 2-3x a week, walking 1.5 miles (at least) 5-6x a week, heavier weight training 1-2x a week

Scale moves about .2 - .3lbs/week. I’ve pretty much stopped weighing myself because I get bummed. My clothes from last summer fit still, though a little different.

I feel good. I’m happy with my quality of life. Never had any lipid/dietary issues to address. I don’t *love* my body aesthetically but I’m happy with how it is and I’ve also made peace that I probably never will love it lol. Never had a “goal weight” so I feel like my journey is open ended and now I’m not sure if I need to turn left, go forward, or turn around all together lol.

Keep going at 9.9 and use it as maintenance? Come off (VERY slowly) since 27lbs/year is below “average” loss time? Increase to see what happens? I’m not sure how to proceed / if I should change things so I’m pretty open to what everyone has to say!

I’m going to post a photo in the comments of a clot I passed. I know the “quarter sized” rule but my periods have been changing the last 6ish months and are getting shorter (2-3 days) and very clot heavy. I’ve been passing one or two clots this sized in each period for the last probably 4 months.

I did go through cancer immunotherapy in 2024 and had a bunch of side effects including a thyroid that no longer works (I take a full thyroid hormone replacement each morning) and I know that can sometimes contribute.

Just curious if this is a “normal ish” or “talk to your doctor” situation.

TIA!

What’s the opposite of a NSV? 😭😭 just came to vent