r/rtms

I haven't started yet... My first appt is in a couple weeks... Every day I intend to cancel it (but haha- jokes on me, I'm a Horrible procrastinator). You know the saying- Don't fix what's not broken... Well I've been broken my whole life, so it's my natural state of mind. And the Apathy... That's my middle name. I used to hate it but, ya know- I haven't considered an epilogue in a long time because, why bother yawn It just takes so much planning and effort. Besides, who'll adopt Bob? In the past, when I did try to leave, ya know- I wasn't sad. I was Angry. Is that weird? But now I've had no emotions in so long... I think I'm kinda actually concerned about them coming back.Yeah that's the point I wanted to make 10 mins ago. It takes patience to read my thoughts. Somewhere it mentioned mania happening to people. I'm not bipolar. I don't think. I used to be. I liked it more than this, at least sometimes I had what's known as fun. But it's been so long I don't even know... It was a bit.... Dramatic. Lol but hey I had personality and friends and I went out and did stuff. Now I don't even remember the last time I left - I haven't gone farther than a mile or so from my apartment. And I live downtown so it's ugly, no flowers, no lawns- can't even touch grass when I need to... Well at least all my personal trauma has made me hilarious.

So there's that. This is what I do, instead of going out for fun & leisure I write. To nobody. How pathetic. I'm slightly concerned that the treatment will lift me out of the Apathy just enough to have the energy to give up: Find Bob a new home (Bob is my cat) So this is why I came here. Should I cancel my appointment? I don't know. If it's not walking distance that's a problem too. No car. Cab's expensive. NOT riding a bus... Has anyone had an issue with anxiety afterwards? I mean is that a common thing your brain does- if it's not depressed - moods suppressed - do you get hyped a bit? Seems so crazy how new this is- they don't even know the long term effects yet!!! Lol Because it hasn't been long yet!!! I just find that kinda funny. Dammit I don't know what to do. My bf died a long time ago and I've never been alone this long. Ever. I can't even make decisions because I always depended on someone else to make them. I need a grown-up here. Hello? Can anyone hear me? I'm not mature enough for all this. Getting old SUCKS you have no fucking idea how much it sucks, I'd give my left ARM to be 21again. I did NOT expect to live this long. I was a firm believer in "Live Fast, Die Young, and leave a good looking corpse" it was my damn motto. It was my guide to life. Well dammit I'm not young anymore Dammit life's a lot harder when you made no plans and when you're young and attractive people are nice to you. I miss smiling at people when I walk downtown and they smile back and sometimes we talk. It felt like a nice little world But It's Gone Now!! Nobody smiles anymore. They actually look away To Avoid Eye Contact!!! Don't worry cutie pie, Old is not contagious. And people are rude too, as if I must be an Alzheimer's patient! Lol for God's sake, my IQ is higher than most people so don't talk to me as if I'm 3 years old. Lol I'm just whining and getting stuff off my chest now so I don't care about writing a clear and concise story. Lol Ok 98% chance I'll delete this before anyone reads it Lol if not, please leave me a sentence or two please, I need some human contact. Thanks

Good morning everyone!

I'm 28M and have been dealing with depression and anxiety for more than half my life. I am currently on session 19 of 36.

Due to past experiences, I have some control issues. Because of that, I'm trying hard to remain hopeful throughout this treatment, but I'm finding it difficult to just let go and trust the process.

Lately, I've noticed some relief from the depression, but it's almost like it has made my anxiety and lack of willpower worse. My theory is that the new neural pathways are opening my mind up and allowing me to think more, which is a lot to process.

The main downside I'm seeing right now is a severe lack of motivation to do my job. It feels like I have zero willpower to complete tasks, and to be honest, it's really scaring me. Typically, I love my job, though I do have ADHD and can experience burnout pretty easily.

I'm trying to stay hopeful, but I would love to get some insight from people who have been through this:

1.Has anyone else experienced a drop in motivation or an spike in anxiety around the halfway mark? Does it get better toward the end of treatment?

2.For those with ADHD, did TMS temporarily alter how you managed your symptoms or focus? Does that pass and or is it just part of the process?

3.Any tips on how to "let go" and trust the process when you have a natural tendency to want to control things?

Thanks in advance for any advice or tips on moving forward

I’m on my third session of tms but I started getting major anxiety about the possibility of there being tiny microscopic metal pieces in my head that I don’t know about and having severe side effects. I also have a tattoo behind my ear and I read that some ink has metal. I have no surgical implants but I’m wondering if I need to book an X-ray of my head before continuing treatment just to be 1000% sure.

They had to stop early because it hurt so much. I am prone to migraines anyways, that is what it felt like. I had nerve pain going all the way down through my neck. In my neck it was burning. It took 5-10 minutes after they stopped for it to stop the burning. I have to go back at 8am tomorrow. Doc said I am just "sensitive" and they will have to do this lower. I am doing this because I have already been dx as treatment resistant severe Major Dépressive Disorder. I want to push through, but it truly hurt.

i’m on session 18/30 and i’ve been feeling an emotional dip for the last 4 days. my first emotional dip was around the 7-10th session, i started feeling better after that, but my mood started dipping around session 15.

are multiple mood dips normal? it’s making me extremely anxious because it feels like i’m reverting to my extremely depressed state and i cannot go back to that.

First, a little background. I have experienced depression since I was a child. In my early 30s, I made a million lifestyle changes hoping to address it. I quit drinking alcohol, lost 60 pounds and made regular exercise a part of my life, quit my job to pursue a passion, moved somewhere with more sun, various therapists, then psych meds. I finally told my psychiatrist I was done and was on my way to self-checkout when she suggested TMS. I did a round of deep rTMS in 2022 on the Brainsway machine, traditional timeline of 30 treatments over 6 weeks and then a taper. I was in complete remission from all depressive symptoms for almost 4 years. I recently noticed my symptoms returning, and at the very first suicidal ideation I decided to go for a second round.

Because I am no longer insured, cannot access treatment where I live, and because of the promising results of the SAINT protocol, I decided to do an accelerated treatment. This made sense for me because it was affordable out of pocket ($7000), and could be conpleted in 5 days, minimizing my expenses and time away from work and life.

My treatment was based on SAINT, with the main difference being that instead of their proprietary algorithm choosing the treatm ent site, it was chosen by a neurologist. The way it was described to me was "just like brand name meds vs generic."I had a resting-state fMRI, and the doctor chose targets in both the left and right DLPFC. I've read all the studies I can get my hands on, and had an extensive discussion with the doctor in the clinic. Based on his recommendation and my own reading, I agreed to be treated alternating right and left sides, in the hope of also addressing the anxiety I experience. The goal of bilateral treatment is is increase excitatory response in the L-DPFC (left dorsolateral prefrontal cortex)and inhibitory response in the R-DLPFC. The doctor told me he had chosen areas on the left and right that connected to each other. I know this is not the actual SAINT protocol.

On the first day of treatment, they tested my motor threshold and then we jumped right in. Using the MagStim coil and neuronavigator, I alternated 10 minute,120% motor threshold treatments on the left DLPFC, and 3 minute 100% motor threshold treatments on the right side. I had 1 treatment every hour for 10 hours over 5 days. I had a total of 50 sessions - 25 on each side. My experience with treatment was that it was uncomfortable, but completely tolerable. Some mild headaches, scalp sensitivity, and intense fatigue were the worst of it. The techs were inexperienced and had had no training other than from the techs who came before them. Woke I did not love this, I reassured myself that the machine was doing the work, and I could see on the neuronavigator screen that the coil was placed in accordance with the sites identified by the doctor.

Before treatment, I discontinued Wellbutrin at the physician's request because of increased seziure risk (common practice for accelerated treatment). I tapered quickly and was off of it for 6 weeks before beginning treatment. I experienced no withdrawl or side effects from discontinuation. ​Over 8 weeks, I also tapered from 20mg Lexapro daily to 2.5 every three days before I arrived to the treatment center. I had no trouble going from 20mg to 5mg, but at 2.5 I started experiencing withdrawal symptoms, and beginning the first day of TMS, I went back to 5mg/day and have stayed at that dose. I also discontinued buspirone with no effect.

As of today, May 12, 2026, I am 11 days out from the conclusion of treatment. To be blunt, I feel like shit. Much worse than I did before going in. I am extremely irritable, feeling angry and like I could explode at any moment, and the suicidal ideation has increased (don't worry, I'm safe and supported). I'm also crying a lot, which is unusual for me. I'm really, really hoping this is just something akin to "the dip" and maybe happens after accelerated treatment instead of during. I did experience "the dip" during my first round, though I'm not sure it's comparable to what I am feeling now because my circumstances are so different. I'm hoping things will improve over the next week or two. After my initial rTMS, I felt much better at the conclusion of treatment, and continued to improve over the next 6 months.

I'm sharing this because I would like to make myself available to anyone who has questions regarding the "SAINT lite" treatments popping up at clinics and also because I could maybe use some reassurance from anyone who has had a similar experience or knows more than me. Maybe I just need time for my brain to catch up? I went into treatment so optimistic because it had already helped me once. But now I'm worried I let some guy mess with my brain and maybe he didn't know what he was doing after all. I will update as time progresses. l am happy to answer questions, and would be even happier to receive positive anecdotes from anyone who has had a similar experience.

For context, I've been suffering from Depression and OCD for years. I heard about TMS yesterday and looked up clinics in my area. I gave one a call, sent in some paperwork, and they actually got me in for a consultation appointment tomorrow. It appears my insurance will cover the treatment (I have a $15 copay per session, but my out-of-pocket max is $330).

I'm so sick of both Depression and OCD. They've cost so much damage to my life and I'm excited to try this treatment. Therapy and medication have helped some, but not much, and I'd like to at least give it a shot.

There's a chance I'll experience some side effects, but that's a risk I'm willing to take if it means I might get better. There's also the chance that it won't do anything, which worries me a little. Are treatments for OCD and Depression different? How long did the treatment last for you? When did you start feeling better?

The same clinic also offers Esketamine treatments, I've been wondering if I should try that too.