r/twosentencestories

She asked him to describe her in one word.

He said "home," and she laughed because it wasn't romantic at all, until she realized it was the most romantic thing anyone had ever said.

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u/Bigenderqueen — 5 days ago

I'm a vampire hunter.

So I wasn't surprised when the news headlines read "Killer seems to be targeting goth kids who dress up as vampires".

Note: This story is loosely based on a Matt Melvin comic on Cyanide and Happiness, I forgot which and I don't have the link.

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u/newsmart23 — 5 days ago

After three years of fighting, yesterday the judge finally ruled that my son would live with me because my ex-wife was deemed mentally unfit to care for him.

Now I’m staring at the parcel she sent an hour ago, blood slowly seeping through the cardboard beneath the note—“Your half, handle with care.”

reddit.com
u/hoosnearafatbiswas — 11 days ago

Lern tu ficks yore gramer an spalink.

Ey wood lyk iff et wurr az gud az myn.

(Good-spelling version for people who need it: Learn to fix your grammar and spelling. I would like if it were as good as mine.)

reddit.com
u/newsmart23 — 12 days ago