u/--ACM--

I (29F) got engaged in March 2026 and my wedding is set for February 2027.

I’ve been shopping for the wedding and wedding events, so naturally, I’ve bought a ton of white cocktail dresses that I didn’t end up loving for my engagement party, etc, but kept because I do like them in general.

My aunt (36F, mom’s youngest sister so relatively close in age to me) had a large celebratory event for her child customary in our religion. My aunt wore white, as did many family members. I wore a white suit I originally bought for our engagement dinner but didn’t wear.

My aunt didn’t say anything or make me think I was improperly dressed.

A few people did come up to me and mention I looked good in white, telling me they were excited for the wedding.

I didn’t think much of it until another family member came up to me and said it was rude for me to wear white because I was trying to take away attention from my aunt and her family. I pointed out a lot of family members were wearing white, she said it’s different because it’s in my “engagement era.”

According to her, wearing white to someone else’s event while you are engaged is rude. I think it’s fine as long as the event you’re wearing it to isn’t someone else engagement, wedding, bridal shower, etc, where white would be a no-go either way.

We have other family events and holidays coming up. Again, I’m not going out of my way to wear white, but I do have a TON of extra white outfits I was planning to wear.

Am I the asshole for wearing white while engaged??

My fiancé (27M) and I (29F) got engaged a few months ago. His father leads a large religious center in a very expensive beach town and offered to host an engagement luncheon for us.

I asked if I could say a few words at the luncheon. I’m a lawyer and public speaker for a living, and I just wanted to introduce myself and my family to the congregation, thank my future in-laws, and say something about how my fiancé and I met. His father said no. When my mom asked him about it, he responded, “No, and when I say no, it means no.”

His reasoning was that if he lets me speak, he’d have to let anyone who sponsors an event there speak.
Then, a few weeks before the engagement, I found out he invited 40 clergymen and that one of them will be speaking at the luncheon. Apparently someone else can speak at my engagement but I can’t. (Nothing to do with gender, he hosts female speakers all the time).

My friends think I should just stand up, quiet everyone down, and give my 2–3 minute speech anyway. There’s no microphone because of religious observance, so realistically, once I start, he can’t really stop me.

The complication is my fiancé’s relationship with his dad. They’ve historically been distant, and I can tell this event is making my fiancé feel loved and included by his father in a way he hasn’t in a long time. My fiancé’s parents divorced when he was little, his father remarried and has multiple children with his new wife. I don’t want to jeopardize the relationship my fiancé is rekindling.

Part of me wants to respect his wishes out of love and respect for my future husband. Another part of me really wants to stick it to his father, especially now that he’s having someone else speak.

WIBTA if I stood up and gave the speech?

(Scroll down to OP comment answering common questions — it’s a standalone comment, wish it was easier to find!)

My fiancé (27M) and I (29F) got engaged a few months ago. His father leads a large religious center in a very expensive beach town and offered to host an engagement luncheon for us.

I asked if I could say a few words at the luncheon. I’m a lawyer and public speaker for a living, and I just wanted to introduce myself and my family to the congregation, thank my future in-laws, and say something about how my fiancé and I met. His father said no. When my mom asked him about it, he responded, “No, and when I say no, it means no.”

His reasoning was that if he lets me speak, he’d have to let anyone who sponsors an event there speak.
Then, a few weeks before the engagement, I found out he invited 40 clergymen and that one of them will be speaking at the luncheon. Apparently someone else can speak at my engagement but I can’t. (Nothing to do with gender, he hosts female speakers all the time).

My friends think I should just stand up, quiet everyone down, and give my 2–3 minute speech anyway. There’s no microphone because of religious observance, so realistically, once I start, he can’t really stop me.

The complication is my fiancé’s relationship with his dad. They’ve historically been distant, and I can tell this event is making my fiancé feel loved and included by his father in a way he hasn’t in a long time. My fiancé’s parents divorced when he was little, his father remarried and has multiple children with his new wife. I don’t want to jeopardize the relationship my fiancé is rekindling.

Part of me wants to respect his wishes out of love and respect for my future husband. Another part of me really wants to stick it to his father, especially now that he’s having someone else speak.

WIBTA if I stood up and gave the speech anyway?

I (29F) come from a traditional religious family. My family has an apartment in NYC that my brother (33M) and I originally lived in. After he got married, I lived there alone until my middle sister (24F) moved in. My youngest sister (20F) lived downtown with friends while in college.

When my long-distance relationship became serious, I rented a studio in Miami so my now-fiancé and I could be in the same city. (Because of our families’ religious values, we can’t live together before marriage).

I kept my room in the NYC apartment because I still have to be in New York twice a month for work.

A few months later, my middle sister was struggling with loneliness, so I agreed to give up my bedroom so she could get a roommate until the summer. The agreement was that I’d keep one of the four identical closets for my things and could stay in her room whenever I was in New York.

The understanding was that the roommate would leave in the summer, my youngest sister would move in, and I’d spend much of the summer in NYC before returning to my usual twice-a-month visits.

Now that it’s summer, my youngest sister has moved in and says I need to remove all my belongings because my “base is Miami now.”

The issue is that my fiancé and I still can’t live together until we’re married in seven months. I’m in a tiny studio with almost no storage, I’m still supposed to be in NYC through September and then twice a month after that, as usual.

Of course, after the wedding, I’ll fully move to Miami, get a larger apartment with my husband, and stay in hotels when I visit New York.

I offered to pay one-third of the apartment’s maintenance costs (there’s no rent; it’s a family apartment) in exchange for keeping that one closet and staying there when I’m in town. She said that’s not what she “agreed to” and that she wants the apartment to feel like her home, not like she’s sharing a bedroom.

Note: my brother and SIL lived in the apartment with me for months after they were married because their apartment wasn’t ready yet. I feel this is a similar situation where I don’t have a permanent base elsewhere (and am not yet married) so that apartment is my base until I’m married. On paper, the apartment is legally owned by me and my brother, but we all understand it to be a family apartment.

My sister and I have a great relationship and neither of us wants this to become a bigger fight. Am I being unreasonable for wanting to keep one closet and stay periodically until after my wedding?

EDIT: When I moved out of my room so my middle sister can get a roommate, I moved 80% of my things to a storage unit. The closet has PJs, toiletries, a few basic outfits, some suits and dresses for work, and some shoes. It’s about a 25 min walk from the apartment and has limited access hours. I pay for the storage unit.

Seen a few threads about this but they’re all 3y old!! Looking to rent a theater for 25-50 people for a private party! Screen would be used for slideshows and music videos.

Commercial theaters like AMC can be rented but only show their own movies, I don’t really want to watch a movie just rent the theater space and use the projector.

Comment with leads!